How does anyone deal with the violence?
- Thread starter ohdearme
- Start date
witzend
Well-Known Member
I'm really sorry for the pain and loss you must feel. I'm not sure what else to say, as there is not much information to work with here. Please feel free to talk more as you are comfortable, and perhaps we can refer you to a group who will understand better what you are going through.
Peace.
Peace.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Please don't be afraid to post here either. Trust me, none of us will judge you in a negative way. That's a promise.
Well, my teenaged daughter, who is possibly borderline and conduct disorder, shot a friend in school. She shot her in the back and killed her. The case is ongoing, so I can't really elaborate.When it is over, however, I will. There is so little that I can say, but so much I need to say. I'm in therapy, but I would really like to be able to talk with people that have dealt with difficult children.
Last edited by a moderator:
tiredmommy
Well-Known Member
ODM- I edited out your daughter's age as I *think* a quick internet search took me to info on your daughter's case. I can tell you that you are living many of our member's nightmare right now. Please know that you won't be judged here by your child's actions, you've found a safe place to land. {{{Hugs}}} for your aching heart.
Steely
Active Member
We are so here for you. You are truly living a nightmare, but not one we have not all imagined living with our kids. I have feared that exact scenario many times. We are here to be your support.
Perhaps for your security, you could start a new post asking specific questions on how to cope and deal with this sort of personality disorder. Or you could start a post on how to cope with these sorts of kids. Or a post that directly asks the questions you are wanting to address without including the details of the case. You could also private message any one of us with questions, and that would not be in the web, and security would not be a problem.
So many hugs and prayers for you. You are not alone.
Perhaps for your security, you could start a new post asking specific questions on how to cope and deal with this sort of personality disorder. Or you could start a post on how to cope with these sorts of kids. Or a post that directly asks the questions you are wanting to address without including the details of the case. You could also private message any one of us with questions, and that would not be in the web, and security would not be a problem.
So many hugs and prayers for you. You are not alone.
F
flutterbee
Guest
We are here for you. I agree with Steely; for security reasons start a new post and let us know what you need.
I know you will find a lot of support on this site. Having children with emotional and/or behavior disorders has formed a bond among us.
I'm sorry you are having to endure this.
(((hugs)))
I know you will find a lot of support on this site. Having children with emotional and/or behavior disorders has formed a bond among us.
I'm sorry you are having to endure this.
(((hugs)))
Marguerite
Active Member
We have a case that sounds a bit like this, just happened a week ago here in Australia. Sometimes there can be more to the story. The case here - very tragic, but there is a lot of compassion for the circumstances.
As others have said, we don't judge on this site; how could we? It's the nightmare we all fear.
If/when you feel free to post in more detail, post using pseudonyms so you can't be tracked from your post to your real identity. That way you will feel more free to share the details honestly, without fearing identifying anyone.
YOu could also ask more general questions, or share general issues form the past that are unrelated to this case. How is her current mood, for example. What is this doing to your relationship with her? Is she getting counselling? Treatment for anything?
Or you could simply use the search engine on tis site to read past threads and see what you can glean from other issues.
WHichever you feel safest with - feel free. Take the time you need. We're not going anywhere!
Marg
As others have said, we don't judge on this site; how could we? It's the nightmare we all fear.
If/when you feel free to post in more detail, post using pseudonyms so you can't be tracked from your post to your real identity. That way you will feel more free to share the details honestly, without fearing identifying anyone.
YOu could also ask more general questions, or share general issues form the past that are unrelated to this case. How is her current mood, for example. What is this doing to your relationship with her? Is she getting counselling? Treatment for anything?
Or you could simply use the search engine on tis site to read past threads and see what you can glean from other issues.
WHichever you feel safest with - feel free. Take the time you need. We're not going anywhere!
Marg
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
Hi again, hun. You know what? If you like, you can post about other issues--your problems with daughter before this happened and I know everyone here will just rush to give you hugs and understanding.
"There, but for the Grace of God, go I" applies in so many of our cases. Sending you warm and fuzzy thoughts (and hope you try, as hard as it seems, to give yourself some time to just, say, enjoy a bubble bath). No matter what our difficult child's do, we are NOT responsible, and we need to snatch moments of serenity in order to be our best for ourselves and our loved ones.
We will always be here for her, whenever you are ready. My mommy heart really hurts for you. I'm sure we all feel the same.
"There, but for the Grace of God, go I" applies in so many of our cases. Sending you warm and fuzzy thoughts (and hope you try, as hard as it seems, to give yourself some time to just, say, enjoy a bubble bath). No matter what our difficult child's do, we are NOT responsible, and we need to snatch moments of serenity in order to be our best for ourselves and our loved ones.
We will always be here for her, whenever you are ready. My mommy heart really hurts for you. I'm sure we all feel the same.
compassion
Member
You and your daughter are in my thoughts and prayers. This is a safe place. It has been a lifesaver for me. I have a teen daughter with CD and it is so important to have a safe place to be supported. Compassion
meowbunny
New Member
I'm definitely one of those there but for the grace of God goes I ones. I can only imagine your pain and heartbreak. Let us know how we can help you get through this. We'll happily hold your hand and be with you as much or as little as you like.
For now, many hugs and much understanding.
For now, many hugs and much understanding.
klmno
Active Member
My son is 13 yo so I won't say "but for the grace of God" but I will say "I hope with the grace of God" because I think he could end up in that situation and I could end up in your shoes.
I am very sorry that you are living it- I know it isn't the same as worrying that it "could happen". Hang in there- we will help as much as we can to be a good support system.
I am very sorry that you are living it- I know it isn't the same as worrying that it "could happen". Hang in there- we will help as much as we can to be a good support system.
I just saw CBS-XXXX (I dont know if the case is the one, but it sounds very similar).
What kind of crappy friends don't react to textings at least 24h before it happen? Especially if the texts include something about a gun etc.
I have Google alerts on every time the schools my children attend are even mentioned on the Internet. Two or three times alone revealing texting has prevented a crime here just this year. We have learned the hard way that such texts should not be ignored and most situation can be dealt with if the receivers approach the sender with a little comforting and socializing until the weapons are gone.
We will never know how many people who could saved lives in the case I saw on the net, but for sure some should remain standing with a very bad taste in their mouth.
Even if the case I saw is not the case we are speaking about you can my full support to go through such hard times. People should general become more interested in their community and especially what is going on in our local schools.
What kind of crappy friends don't react to textings at least 24h before it happen? Especially if the texts include something about a gun etc.
I have Google alerts on every time the schools my children attend are even mentioned on the Internet. Two or three times alone revealing texting has prevented a crime here just this year. We have learned the hard way that such texts should not be ignored and most situation can be dealt with if the receivers approach the sender with a little comforting and socializing until the weapons are gone.
We will never know how many people who could saved lives in the case I saw on the net, but for sure some should remain standing with a very bad taste in their mouth.
Even if the case I saw is not the case we are speaking about you can my full support to go through such hard times. People should general become more interested in their community and especially what is going on in our local schools.
Transparent
New Member
I am so sorry for your nightmare. You and your family have my thoughts and prayers.
