How to just stay out of it...

[BusynMember]

We are also the same way. We even say it in texts to one another. "Great game, jumper. Love you to the moon." And her "love you more." And sonic "will drop it off today at your work. Love you." "Thanks mom love you too."

Jumpers boyfriend had to get used to it. Now he acceopts our hugs. Princesses boyfiend too. I think because I never felt loved by my parents, I want my kids to be sure they are. Husband too. Heck I say it to the dogs when I go somewhere...lol.

I think you did well, lil. And a big yaaay to your son!!!# what a super turnaround.

 

[Childofmine]

We are the same way in our family. Difficult Child and I say I love you at the end of every phone call. easy child and I do too, and husband and I do too. I say it to my best girlfriends when we hang up and my mother and I say it too.

I love the idea that the people I love the bestest and mostest in the world will have those words from me and I from them at the end of every contact. No regrets! Saying what we feel. I love it!

I love the fact that she got a job. I praise McDonald's for giving so many of our DCs a job. Remember, that's where my son started out too...and today he has moved on to other jobs. I will always appreciate McDonald's for that, however.

Yay Lil! Progress! Great news. It's one step at a time backward and forward. For us, too. This is life.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

Agreed about McDonald's - that is how M was able to pay for her entire treatment stay and I will always appreciate them for that!

 

[Lil]

And a big yaaay to your son!!!# what a super turnaround.

Yeah...I was tickled beyond belief that he actually picked up another shift - on purpose - for more money! Like a grown up! LOL!!! Maybe our little hands, but telling him flat out we won't help them pay bills, has had an effect.

Not that he's paid us back like he said he would...but really, I didn't expect that to happen. The day he hands me money will be the day I actually start thinking he may be okay.

I love the idea that the people I love the bestest and mostest in the world will have those words from me and I from them at the end of every contact. No regrets!

Morbid as it sounds, if I get hit by a meteor on the way home, I want the last word I've said to Jabber or my son to be "I love you." I want them to remember that.

 

[AppleCori]

We say "I love you" when someone leaves, as well.

My daughter's fiancé kisses females on the cheek when they meet/part.

Daughter says this is common in the area of the US that he is from/lives.

I know it is more common in some European countries, but I didn't know that is was common culturally, anywhere in the US> Live and learn.

 

[wakeupcall]

True story. My other son and I were very vocal with "I love you". He was killed instantly in an auto accident many years ago and I hold that in my heart still...every day. When he left the house we both said it to each other. If you mean it, say it. One never knows.....

 

[New Leaf]

True story. My other son and I were very vocal with "I love you". He was killed instantly in an auto accident many years ago and I hold that in my heart still...every day. When he left the house we both said it to each other. If you mean it, say it. One never knows.....

I am so sorry Wakeup, there are no words....I got a chill, reading this. You are so right, one never knows.....
(((Hugs)))
Leafy

 

[Jabberwockey]

I know it is more common in some European countries, but I didn't know that is was common culturally, anywhere in the US> Live and learn.

Tends to be more of a small town thing. Lil and I are both from very small towns even though we live in a larger almost city now.

 

[Copabanana]

Heck I say it to the dogs when I go somewhere...lol.

Well, I do not go that far, but I do kiss Dolly the boxer on the mouth and Stella the cat, too (she hates it). Finally, M has gotten used to it. Romy, the terrier, no. Poor Romy.

COPA

 

[Lil]

My daughter's fiancé kisses females on the cheek when they meet/part.

Daughter says this is common in the area of the US that he is from/lives.

Hmm. I do kiss my aunts and cousins. My male cousins have given me kisses on the cheek. I don't know whether that's a mid-western thing or a family thing.

True story. My other son and I were very vocal with "I love you". He was killed instantly in an auto accident many years ago and I hold that in my heart still...every day. When he left the house we both said it to each other. If you mean it, say it. One never knows.....

Wakeup...I'm so very sorry for your loss. I'm so glad you have those final words to comfort you.

Well, I do not go that far, but I do kiss Dolly the boxer on the mouth and Stella the cat, too (she hates it). Finally, M has gotten used to it. Romy, the terrier, no. Poor Romy.

COPA

I can't say that Mac and Suzie haven't even given a slobbery French kiss when we weren't expecting it...but on the mouth on purpose? No. Just no.

All the same - poor Romy!

 

[AppleCori]

Not just family, though.

Any non-work-related females.

It is a fairly large, south-southwestern city. You would know the name instantly, and location, if I wrote it out.

 

[BusynMember]

Tends to be more of a small town thing. Lil and I are both from very small towns even though we live in a larger almost city now.

I think it is common in families whose own families of origin did not show love. We are very careful to make sure our own family feels the love. And few hugs as we got, we want to give them to those we care about. As many criticisms we heard about ourselves, we want to build up our own family members. We don't want our spouses and children to feel the way we felt. I'm originally from close to Chicago in the burbs and as long as I've had children, they have felt lots of hugs and affection and have heard the "I love yous."

 

[pasajes4]

I am an "I love you Person". I have "versions" of it for everyone. My dog is the only dog that will never lick your face and will not allow anyone kiss his face.

Kudos to the kiddos Liz. A huge high five to you and Jabber for the progress you have made on this journey.

 

[Lil]

I think it is common in families whose own families of origin did not show love.

You know, if families who are all touchy-feely pass it on like Jabber and I, and people who are raised without it do it to make their own feel the love...you'd think the whole world would eventually be made touchy-feely.

Wouldn't that be nice?

A huge high five to you and Jabber for the progress you have made on this journey.

Thanks...though I'm not at all sure I deserve it, given how this thread started...

 

[pasajes4]

Liz, The key word is progress. There is no right/perfect way to walk through this.......not for us and not for our kids.

 

[Copabanana]

Hi Lil

I agree with PASA. I think you (and son) are doing phenomenally. It is hard to stay in the game, constantly having to negotiate and renegotiate boundaries. You are doing it with grace and love. Your son is really to be commended. Who would have known he would rally so quickly? I admire him.

COPA

 

[Lil]

I picked him up from work last night...first time he's asked in a while...and after small talk he advised me that "adulthood sucks".



He got paid, paid toward their apartment deposit, paid their electric bill, had to put a little into the bank because girlfriend had to open a direct deposit bank account for work...aaaannnndddd They're Broke. lol

Yep, that's what happens when you have bills and a short week at work because of holidays.

He's coming over tonight to use the internet and fill out a paper for food stamps. I'll feed him something he can take home too. Because that's what mom does.

 

[pasajes4]

Yep. The new buzz word is "Adulting". It used as a verb. I am not up to adulating today. Do I really have to adult today?

Yeppers....Adulting stinks.

 

[InsaneCdn]

I'll feed him something he can take home too. Because that's what mom does.

Lil, I'm glad you are getting to be a "normal" mom and do "normal" mom things. When they are being responsible, then we can be "responsible" too