Elke61
New Member
Hello from south florida. It's my first post but I've read through a few threads. My difficult son, 18, is in a court ordered rehab for the next 6 months. 2 months I believe are intensive and then it's more of a halfway house where he's supposed to get a job but still have strict supervision, drug tests, etc. I am going to a 1hour class tonight/ and then another one next week in order to be able to see him once he's far enough along and has earned the privilege of having a visitor. So I've got almost 6 months to prepare for the "not coming home" stance. I believe he should transition to a halfway or sober house of some sort.
He did a 1 month residential program beginning of the year then went to a halfway house but got kicked out for arguing/ threatening another resident after a few days. My husband and I allowed him to stay in our garage( dusty, on a cement floor in a sleeping bag) temporarily which ended up being on and off for 6 months. We were not allowing him access to family home but we did give him food and occasionally he joined us for a family meal. We found a rehab in tampa that we were waiting for a bed to open up for him but he got into some legal problems and ended up being on probation. I believe he could have worked something out with the court but he didn't pursue that so our offer for rehab was off the table and I felt he needed a longer program. There's a 10 month program that sounded really good, affordable and he declined it. He had to want to go and convince the intake people he wanted it, which he said 10 months was too long.
So, for now, my thoughts are to check out a few of the halfway houses that are recommended with my son but I felt the last one recommended was good but it was $350/week included meals. That was almost like a setup to fail. How can a kid making $8 hour, work full time, go to AA and iop 3x/ week and meet weekly with a counselor? I do believe that keeping a recovering addict busy is important but unless my husband and I stepped in financially, he would have been unable to make ends meet. I'm hoping with more time to check things that my son might get to pick which one he goes to.
So, any tips on what makes a good sober house? And do you think it's feasible to have my son involved with the process? I'm preparing my heart now because I can hear the conversation coming up. "I'm 6 months sober. I promise I'll be good mom". I think the best thing for him would be to do a sober/halfway house for 6 months. I'll probably check into iop again. They really educated me and cut through a lot of the bull my son was pulling. I thought he had a drug of choice "pot problem" but was open to trying other things. I was so far off. Any and all drugs was his drug of choice. I do think he's closer and maybe even hitting a bottom. Time will tell.
He did a 1 month residential program beginning of the year then went to a halfway house but got kicked out for arguing/ threatening another resident after a few days. My husband and I allowed him to stay in our garage( dusty, on a cement floor in a sleeping bag) temporarily which ended up being on and off for 6 months. We were not allowing him access to family home but we did give him food and occasionally he joined us for a family meal. We found a rehab in tampa that we were waiting for a bed to open up for him but he got into some legal problems and ended up being on probation. I believe he could have worked something out with the court but he didn't pursue that so our offer for rehab was off the table and I felt he needed a longer program. There's a 10 month program that sounded really good, affordable and he declined it. He had to want to go and convince the intake people he wanted it, which he said 10 months was too long.
So, for now, my thoughts are to check out a few of the halfway houses that are recommended with my son but I felt the last one recommended was good but it was $350/week included meals. That was almost like a setup to fail. How can a kid making $8 hour, work full time, go to AA and iop 3x/ week and meet weekly with a counselor? I do believe that keeping a recovering addict busy is important but unless my husband and I stepped in financially, he would have been unable to make ends meet. I'm hoping with more time to check things that my son might get to pick which one he goes to.
So, any tips on what makes a good sober house? And do you think it's feasible to have my son involved with the process? I'm preparing my heart now because I can hear the conversation coming up. "I'm 6 months sober. I promise I'll be good mom". I think the best thing for him would be to do a sober/halfway house for 6 months. I'll probably check into iop again. They really educated me and cut through a lot of the bull my son was pulling. I thought he had a drug of choice "pot problem" but was open to trying other things. I was so far off. Any and all drugs was his drug of choice. I do think he's closer and maybe even hitting a bottom. Time will tell.