Posted on behalf of @Tornn2 Hello. I have never posted on a forum before, however, I have joined this one to view other's dilemmas, seeming solutions and basically just advise. I am the mother of a beautiful 19 year old daughter. Her father was emotionally and verbally abusive to both of us. Obviously, this created emotional problems for my daughter on top of an acute anxiety disorder she has had from early childhood. Things eventually escalated wherein my husband, her father, actually violently grabbed her and dragged her from her bedroom after kicking her door down. I filed a protective order and subsequently filed for divorce. This happened in 2015. My daughter had been in counseling since the age of 14. Fast forwarding. My daughter was doing well. She graduated from high school. Although she still battled with anxiety and depression she seemed to be coming into her own person. In 2018 we had many life changes. We had to sell our home; she had a falling out with several members of my husband's family; she felt ultimate betrayal by her father (messy divorce); and she started college. It was ALOT. By March of that year I was really starting to notice changes in her that concerned me. She had some type of breakdown and stayed in bed for a week. Shut herself off and wanted no communication. Short story she ended up in mental facility as suicide risk. I subsequently found out that she had been in contact with a young man that she thought she was in love with when she was 14. Yes, she has been obsessed with him ever since. He made it clear he had no romantic interest in her, yet she obviously never moved on. He is not an emotionally healthy person and I would describe him as dark and cynical. After I started putting two and two together, I realized that the extreme changes in my daughter's personality began about the same time that she started to contact him. She has always been respectful and a sweet young woman. Caring, spiritual. She was a diligent student and focused. The past year she has evolved into a crass, "don't care," almost selfish person. She continued to defy my rules, which were fair and basically for her own protection. She even agrees that I am fair and liberal. I had set clear boundaries and the consequences for breaking them. She broke them and I told her to leave. She is now living with him and his family. She currently isn't in school; she's dyed her hair blue/black; she has pierced her ears in different places; last night she tells me she getting her nose pierced and a tatoo on her ankle. She can't keep a job; When I try to reason with her all I get is "I don't know," or "I'll figure it out." By the way, I point blank asked her "love interest" in front of her his feelings for her and he said he "cares for her" but isn't "in love" with her. And yet, when I ask her what's going on with them "are they a couple?" She says "I don't know, I guess." The mother in me fights going and snatching her out of the dump she's staying in and bring her home and say "this is how it's going to be." But, of course, I know she is 19 and an "adult" and that I can't technically do that. Help! Any suggestions? Do I just let her do these things, ruin herself and hit rock bottom or should I be more "proactive?" P.S. She has been on bipolar medication for approximately six months. I think that's why I'm so desperate because I feel like that she is mentally unstable and not capable of good decisions. But she is defiant.