I flaked

[Copabanana]

He said I’d probably be able to find a doctor who would diagnose him with autism but that so many other diagnoses are better to explain what’s going on.

Look. In psychiatry (absent a disorder that can be verified by genetic testing or a laboratory test) EVERYTHING is subjective. And if you look at a person's history you can find a dozen or more different diagnoses, because everybody sees that same person differently. This is called "clinical judgement." But the reality is it's either a guess or a consensus. Sometimes people just copy a diagnosis over and over again because there is safety in numbers. My son was given the diagnosis bipolar because he told one doctor that that was his diagnosis. How did he come up with that diagnosis? He borrowed it from a friend.

Told him without a label, I cannot get intervention.

I think you are exactly right. If a diagnosis of Autism unlocks the door behind which you will find funding and services and support and treatment, I would not worry one bit whether it's the "best" fitting. I would only care that my child's and my own and my family's life got easier, safer and calmer....and more hope-filled.

There is time to refine a diagnosis.

I have to keep my words in mind now. My son a few days ago was given a horrible and irrevocable diagnosis. In my worst fears I have to admit, in the past I had thought of it for maybe two seconds, and buried it. If I read the criteria of the diagnosis I could see that it could fit. If you consider all of his symptoms in the worst possible light. But a person is not a set of symptoms. There are other things to take into account. Strengths, and mitigating factors, and change, etc. And all kinds of things can influence behavior. There is not only one cause.

I would go what gets you and he help.

 

[B’smom]

have to keep my words in mind now. My son a few days ago was given a horrible and irrevocable diagnosis. In my worst fears I have to admit, in the past I had thought of it for maybe two seconds, and buried it. If I read the criteria of the diagnosis I could see that it could fit. If you consider all of his symptoms in the worst possible light. But a person is not a set of symptoms. There are other things to take into account. Strengths, and mitigating factors, and change, etc. And all kinds of things can influence behavior. There is not only one cause.

I’m sorry to hear this Copa. If you want to talk about it, I’m here

 

[RN0441]

Copa

So sorry to hear this. Does it shed some light on what you are dealing with though?

 

[JayPee]

Copa,

I'm sorry for your news about your son's recent diagnosis. You are such a pillar of strength and knowledge for this forum. I feel like from what I've come to know of you on this site even within the last few months that you will somehow delve into learning all you can about whatever diagnosis has been given and turn it around to lift others up.

Sending hugs.

 

[BusynMember1]

Until a diagnoses can be proven I personally don't trust them. I am sorry for your hurt. It doesn't change anything as it is only an opinion and it could easily be wrong.

 

[Crayola13]

Look. In psychiatry (absent a disorder that can be verified by genetic testing or a laboratory test) EVERYTHING is subjective. And if you look at a person's history you can find a dozen or more different diagnoses, because everybody sees that same person differently. This is called "clinical judgement." But the reality is it's either a guess or a consensus. Sometimes people just copy a diagnosis over and over again because there is safety in numbers. My son was given the diagnosis bipolar because he told one doctor that that was his diagnosis. How did he come up with that diagnosis? He borrowed it from a friend.
I think you are exactly right. If a diagnosis of Autism unlocks the door behind which you will find funding and services and support and treatment, I would not worry one bit whether it's the "best" fitting. I would only care that my child's and my own and my family's life got easier, safer and calmer....and more hope-filled.

There is time to refine a diagnosis.

I have to keep my words in mind now. My son a few days ago was given a horrible and irrevocable diagnosis. In my worst fears I have to admit, in the past I had thought of it for maybe two seconds, and buried it. If I read the criteria of the diagnosis I could see that it could fit. If you consider all of his symptoms in the worst possible light. But a person is not a set of symptoms. There are other things to take into account. Strengths, and mitigating factors, and change, etc. And all kinds of things can influence behavior. There is not only one cause.

I would go what gets you and he help.

You sound very troubled over this latest news. Sometimes a diagnosis is a matter of opinion. Some symptoms can imitate other types of conditions. Would you believe I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 20! They wanted to put me, the serious student who was the best behaved kid on this planet, on Ritalin. Obviously, that diagnosis was incorrect. I was putting so much pressure on myself to make straight A that it was making me too nervous to test well. They thought I had an attention problem, but it was anxiety.

 

[WiseChoices]

Look. In psychiatry (absent a disorder that can be verified by genetic testing or a laboratory test) EVERYTHING is subjective. And if you look at a person's history you can find a dozen or more different diagnoses, because everybody sees that same person differently. This is called "clinical judgement." But the reality is it's either a guess or a consensus. Sometimes people just copy a diagnosis over and over again because there is safety in numbers. My son was given the diagnosis bipolar because he told one doctor that that was his diagnosis. How did he come up with that diagnosis? He borrowed it from a friend.
I think you are exactly right. If a diagnosis of Autism unlocks the door behind which you will find funding and services and support and treatment, I would not worry one bit whether it's the "best" fitting. I would only care that my child's and my own and my family's life got easier, safer and calmer....and more hope-filled.

There is time to refine a diagnosis.

I have to keep my words in mind now. My son a few days ago was given a horrible and irrevocable diagnosis. In my worst fears I have to admit, in the past I had thought of it for maybe two seconds, and buried it. If I read the criteria of the diagnosis I could see that it could fit. If you consider all of his symptoms in the worst possible light. But a person is not a set of symptoms. There are other things to take into account. Strengths, and mitigating factors, and change, etc. And all kinds of things can influence behavior. There is not only one cause.

I would go what gets you and he help.

My daughter literally sold her idea of being bipolar to her therapist and psychiatrist, and got the diagnosis from them she wanted. The therapist had known her for 3 years prior to that. I was astonished how they were so willing to be manipulated so easily . She also calls the shots with the Psychiatrist. She researches what medications she wants and she tells HIM what to prescribe. After barely a month, she went off the medications (as she had done 4 times before) and now is moving on to the next idea of her diagnosing herself. I never believed she was bipolar for one second . She no longer thinks so either. Now she is talking about ADHD but I told her no Adderall or Ritalin in the house, so she has dropped that idea for now.

 

[Copabanana]

Does it shed some light on what you are dealing with though?

RN is speaking about whether or not the diagnosis my son was recently given sheds light upon our situation.

No.

What it would do is to concretize specific behaviors, freeze them, into a irrevocable reality. Make them into an institution. That's all a diagnosis is. A label to abstract people into categories so as to speak about them as a type, not a soul.

And that is exactly what I won't do.

My son for his whole life will be a potential. A potential to be. I will keep believing and orienting towards him in this way. As somebody who is capable of rising above.

This stance is harder. This aspirational stance. It's hard not to get bitter and judgmental and impatient and frustrated. But what's the better alternative? I don't see any.

I thank everybody for their care and support.