waytootired
New Member
Amen Sister !!!!
Hugs...
Hugs...
I HATE being his mom
- Thread starter Bugsy
- Start date
SearchingForRainbows
Active Member
BBK,
You're so right!!! We can't control anyone. We can't make anyone change. All we can do is decide how we are going to respond to others.
Unfortunately, I had to learn this lesson the hard way in a relationship that didn't have anything to do with my difficult children.
You would think that after learning this the hard way, it would have been easier for me to deal with the garbage my difficult children dish out on a daily basis. It wasn't!!!
It took me years before I could put this valuable life lesson into practice with my difficult children on a consistent (SP?) basis.
Without exercise, I would be lost!!! WFEN
You're so right!!! We can't control anyone. We can't make anyone change. All we can do is decide how we are going to respond to others.
Unfortunately, I had to learn this lesson the hard way in a relationship that didn't have anything to do with my difficult children.
You would think that after learning this the hard way, it would have been easier for me to deal with the garbage my difficult children dish out on a daily basis. It wasn't!!!
It took me years before I could put this valuable life lesson into practice with my difficult children on a consistent (SP?) basis.
Without exercise, I would be lost!!! WFEN
wakeupcall
Well-Known Member
I'm with Terry......NO one could stand my difficult child. I hardly do myself. I guess that's one of the reasons I never have a babysitter NOR leave him alone with husband. Either of them could hang my son up by his toes at any given time. Once in a blue moon I let husband take him to the movie without me, but I worry the entire time they're gone. It's a no win situation.
I'm sorry you are suffering so much....I'm sorry for all of us.
I'm sorry you are suffering so much....I'm sorry for all of us.
totoro
Mom? What's a difficult child?
Religion aside... all of this can be taken from us in a moments notice. We need to know that whether we have g'sfg or not!
I am a classic example of the come and go syndrome... I went from welfare as a kid, to adopted dad doing OK, to him getting fully disabled, welfare again, to Bio-father, filthy rich,(drug dealer), To on my own living in dumps, trying to get through high school, welfare again... started doing OK, poverty again... never insured during any of this time.
By the time K was born we had to put her on our credit card!!! Now we actually are doing pretty well.
Unfortunately that is all people see.(That we are doing pretty well) But I so realize that any of this can change, for better or worse.
I can rely on nothing being definate!!! But for me knowing what it is like to have and not have, I know I am happy either way...
My kids are still the same as am I and husband.
Exercise is key, I need to do more. and as others have said, looking at things positively...
Yoga, walks, pilates and swimming are the things that truly help husband and I ...
I also will read others post and realise everyone has different levels of what they can handle. It doesn't make us weak, it is maybe what we are used to? Something tragic happens and we are not set up to deal with it... I deal with some things better than husband and he better with some things than I..
Hang in there, we all have our ups and downs... some just seem to happen daily!!!
I am a classic example of the come and go syndrome... I went from welfare as a kid, to adopted dad doing OK, to him getting fully disabled, welfare again, to Bio-father, filthy rich,(drug dealer), To on my own living in dumps, trying to get through high school, welfare again... started doing OK, poverty again... never insured during any of this time.
By the time K was born we had to put her on our credit card!!! Now we actually are doing pretty well.
Unfortunately that is all people see.(That we are doing pretty well) But I so realize that any of this can change, for better or worse.
I can rely on nothing being definate!!! But for me knowing what it is like to have and not have, I know I am happy either way...
My kids are still the same as am I and husband.
Exercise is key, I need to do more. and as others have said, looking at things positively...
Yoga, walks, pilates and swimming are the things that truly help husband and I ...
I also will read others post and realise everyone has different levels of what they can handle. It doesn't make us weak, it is maybe what we are used to? Something tragic happens and we are not set up to deal with it... I deal with some things better than husband and he better with some things than I..
Hang in there, we all have our ups and downs... some just seem to happen daily!!!
gottaloveem
Active Member
Hi,
I saw the title to your post the other day and wanted to reply to you.
When my difficult child was younger, he was a real handful. He wasn't an easy kid like many other children I knew. It was exhausting and stressful.Every school year I heard from the teachers, this was all the way through. It made me question my parenting skills over and over. So many times I would have thoughts that weren't pleasant about my difficult child. I didn't always have a fun time raising him, although I loved him and we were always deeply bonded,(which made me feel guiltier) How could I be so fed-up with my own child? Especially, when you hear Moms say they miss their kids when they go to school or whatever comments makes you question your own maternal love.
When Alex died, I instantly knew how much I loved him and always did. All difficult child'ness traits were forgiven and I just mourned my son.I felt blessed that I had a chance to be his mom, and I rejoiced in every day we spent together. Even the hard younger days, and the painful drug abuse teenager days.
My point is, you really love him, and you don't even mind being his mom. It is just hard to see that when everyday is filled with stress. Go easy on yourself and try to keep a sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine.
(((((HUGS))))))
I saw the title to your post the other day and wanted to reply to you.
When my difficult child was younger, he was a real handful. He wasn't an easy kid like many other children I knew. It was exhausting and stressful.Every school year I heard from the teachers, this was all the way through. It made me question my parenting skills over and over. So many times I would have thoughts that weren't pleasant about my difficult child. I didn't always have a fun time raising him, although I loved him and we were always deeply bonded,(which made me feel guiltier) How could I be so fed-up with my own child? Especially, when you hear Moms say they miss their kids when they go to school or whatever comments makes you question your own maternal love.
When Alex died, I instantly knew how much I loved him and always did. All difficult child'ness traits were forgiven and I just mourned my son.I felt blessed that I had a chance to be his mom, and I rejoiced in every day we spent together. Even the hard younger days, and the painful drug abuse teenager days.
My point is, you really love him, and you don't even mind being his mom. It is just hard to see that when everyday is filled with stress. Go easy on yourself and try to keep a sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine.
(((((HUGS))))))
sameold sameold
New Member
Hey,
You have said exactly what I am feeling at his moment, my difficult child just called me raging and I hollered back, whatever, I am too tired, I have just finished a 12 hour shift and I am hungry and tired and I know what you are going thru, we are all living a life sentence, but you know, it helps to remind yourself that so are they. It is sad but true. Take some alone time, sounds like you need it. Hang in there there are some sunny moments. hugs
You have said exactly what I am feeling at his moment, my difficult child just called me raging and I hollered back, whatever, I am too tired, I have just finished a 12 hour shift and I am hungry and tired and I know what you are going thru, we are all living a life sentence, but you know, it helps to remind yourself that so are they. It is sad but true. Take some alone time, sounds like you need it. Hang in there there are some sunny moments. hugs
Hi, there. I'm new to this place. I really needed someone to talk to 
I have a 15 year old son who has asperger's syndrome. He rages. He hurts my feelings on a daily basis. No, doesn't hurt my feelings -- CRUSHES my feelings. He has zero empathy, no understanding, rages at the slightest provocation, can't maintain a normal school life. School. Well, there's a whole topic in itself. Phone calls almost daily: "Did you know your child did this? What are we going to do with your child?" I'm so tired of being judged, so tired of going the 110 percent for this kid, with zero in return. I can't hug him. He stiffens and pulls away. If he catches me looking at him, he FREAKS OUT. He is messy to the nth degree. Unbelievable actually. His thing is music. He's a very, very talented musician. No lessons. Couldn't get him there ... traditional music teaching didn't work. The kid plays heavy metal guitar like a genius ... no kidding ... however he plays it LOUD, every second he's home. I hate being his parent (the thread I picked up on in this) seems to be a theme in my life this summer. I want a kid that loves me. I like to hug. He does have an older brother that does like to hug and does love me (thank God), and this brother my Asperger child continually rips off (no boundaries with this kid either), ruins his things, trades them away ... no respect for anything ... despite my huge efforts at teaching respect. Of course, no one believes that. I am pretty much labelled a terrible mom at our high school. I now have him in alternate school with a teacher who specializes in "tough to reach kids". He just started the last half of last year and it went fairly well, which, for Clayton, is only getting kicked out of school once a month, rather than every week. No exaggeration. No kidding. I am absolutely praying on this school. I desperately need a break. Sorry. I really needed someone to talk to, I needed to vent. I'm hoping I'm not the only mom in the universe who is having such a remarkably horrible time raising the baby I brought into this world with so much love and so much hope for the future. I do love him, I just don't like him very much right now. Does that make sense? Thank you for letting me vent.
I have a 15 year old son who has asperger's syndrome. He rages. He hurts my feelings on a daily basis. No, doesn't hurt my feelings -- CRUSHES my feelings. He has zero empathy, no understanding, rages at the slightest provocation, can't maintain a normal school life. School. Well, there's a whole topic in itself. Phone calls almost daily: "Did you know your child did this? What are we going to do with your child?" I'm so tired of being judged, so tired of going the 110 percent for this kid, with zero in return. I can't hug him. He stiffens and pulls away. If he catches me looking at him, he FREAKS OUT. He is messy to the nth degree. Unbelievable actually. His thing is music. He's a very, very talented musician. No lessons. Couldn't get him there ... traditional music teaching didn't work. The kid plays heavy metal guitar like a genius ... no kidding ... however he plays it LOUD, every second he's home. I hate being his parent (the thread I picked up on in this) seems to be a theme in my life this summer. I want a kid that loves me. I like to hug. He does have an older brother that does like to hug and does love me (thank God), and this brother my Asperger child continually rips off (no boundaries with this kid either), ruins his things, trades them away ... no respect for anything ... despite my huge efforts at teaching respect. Of course, no one believes that. I am pretty much labelled a terrible mom at our high school. I now have him in alternate school with a teacher who specializes in "tough to reach kids". He just started the last half of last year and it went fairly well, which, for Clayton, is only getting kicked out of school once a month, rather than every week. No exaggeration. No kidding. I am absolutely praying on this school. I desperately need a break. Sorry. I really needed someone to talk to, I needed to vent. I'm hoping I'm not the only mom in the universe who is having such a remarkably horrible time raising the baby I brought into this world with so much love and so much hope for the future. I do love him, I just don't like him very much right now. Does that make sense? Thank you for letting me vent.
