sadandfrustrated
Member
It didn't exactly happen the way I planned it. After a tear filled discussion on how he's a thief and he has to leave, and him tearfully admitting that he's a screw up and at 28 he realizes he's not a kid anymore and wants to turn his life around.. etc, etc, So we gave him a couple of days to find a job and a place to stay. He was actually very helpful around the house and constantly thanked us for giving him the opportunity to get his act together first. For the first time in his life, he acted like an adult. As a matter of fact I was about to post here that things were going very well and was secretly thinking that maybe my son was different and that maybe this wake up call really did make a difference.
But no. We found out he a made a deal with a customer. He gave her some sob story, charged her less but told us that the customer changed her mind and didn't need our service so she didn't pay him. But I called her right after he told me that and she said he did the job and she paid him in cash. So, he stole from us again.
But that wasn't even the catalyst. A few years ago when money and things started mysteriously disappearing I bought a safe with a code and put it in our bedroom closet. It also had a hidden keyhole access feature in case we forgot the code or the batteries died. I hid the keys behind my dresser drawer for safe keeping and we used the code feature to hide our valuables. In it I put my grandmothers diamond wedding ring that had been handed down to my mom and then to me after my mom's death. That ring was almost 100 years old and meant the world to me. It had a diamond in the center and filigree on the sides holding smaller diamonds. It was petite beautiful and held so many fond memories but the ring part was so thin from years of being worn that I was afraid to wear it. It wasn't worth that much money, but it was irreplaceable. I was telling my grandson about it and he wanted to see it so I took out the ring box to show him, and the ring wasn't there. I checked for the keys, and they were missing too. I don't know when the ring went missing and I don't even have a photo of it to report it stolen. I'm heartbroken over losing that ring, and that's when I just flipped. I screamed at my son asking where my mothers ring was but he swears he didn't take it of course. I threw his clothes out the door, told him to get the eff out of the house, screamed at him that I wanted that ring back. I'm sure my neighbors heard me screaming. I'm so done with him. He's not my son. I don't know what creature is living inside his body but it's not the son I raised. He kept wanting to hug me and kept telling me loved me and I was just screaming that I didn't believe him and that he's not capable of loving anyone and to just get out. I know this whole 'I love you mom is just another form of manipulation and for a while I fell for it. I was still so angry but I did manage to tell him I'd leave his phone on and if he wants rehab I'll help him. He finally left and we stayed up til 2 am changing all the locks at my insistence.
My husband said maybe losing the ring will bring my son back, our real son, not this thing that looks like him. And that kind of struck a chord in me and gave me hope because the night before as I watched my son standing in front of the house and wondering why he was out there and if he was waiting for his drug dealer, I started praying and I asked my mom to help me get my son back again. I'm holding on to that thought for dear life, and it's the only thing that's getting me through this. I can't do this anymore and I can't stop crying.
But no. We found out he a made a deal with a customer. He gave her some sob story, charged her less but told us that the customer changed her mind and didn't need our service so she didn't pay him. But I called her right after he told me that and she said he did the job and she paid him in cash. So, he stole from us again.
But that wasn't even the catalyst. A few years ago when money and things started mysteriously disappearing I bought a safe with a code and put it in our bedroom closet. It also had a hidden keyhole access feature in case we forgot the code or the batteries died. I hid the keys behind my dresser drawer for safe keeping and we used the code feature to hide our valuables. In it I put my grandmothers diamond wedding ring that had been handed down to my mom and then to me after my mom's death. That ring was almost 100 years old and meant the world to me. It had a diamond in the center and filigree on the sides holding smaller diamonds. It was petite beautiful and held so many fond memories but the ring part was so thin from years of being worn that I was afraid to wear it. It wasn't worth that much money, but it was irreplaceable. I was telling my grandson about it and he wanted to see it so I took out the ring box to show him, and the ring wasn't there. I checked for the keys, and they were missing too. I don't know when the ring went missing and I don't even have a photo of it to report it stolen. I'm heartbroken over losing that ring, and that's when I just flipped. I screamed at my son asking where my mothers ring was but he swears he didn't take it of course. I threw his clothes out the door, told him to get the eff out of the house, screamed at him that I wanted that ring back. I'm sure my neighbors heard me screaming. I'm so done with him. He's not my son. I don't know what creature is living inside his body but it's not the son I raised. He kept wanting to hug me and kept telling me loved me and I was just screaming that I didn't believe him and that he's not capable of loving anyone and to just get out. I know this whole 'I love you mom is just another form of manipulation and for a while I fell for it. I was still so angry but I did manage to tell him I'd leave his phone on and if he wants rehab I'll help him. He finally left and we stayed up til 2 am changing all the locks at my insistence.
My husband said maybe losing the ring will bring my son back, our real son, not this thing that looks like him. And that kind of struck a chord in me and gave me hope because the night before as I watched my son standing in front of the house and wondering why he was out there and if he was waiting for his drug dealer, I started praying and I asked my mom to help me get my son back again. I'm holding on to that thought for dear life, and it's the only thing that's getting me through this. I can't do this anymore and I can't stop crying.