If you could raise your kids again, what would you change?

[Copabanana]

I feel the same way as you about TV, Apple.

Unfortunately I am still very much in its thrall. I so very much want to take back my world.

By that I mean, put my focus on that which is sustaining of good energy, rather than consuming and co-opting. I feel as if I consent to be possessed by forces outside my control, by exposing myself to media.

It is an addiction that I have been unwilling to shake. Thus far. Thank you.

 

[Enmeshedmom]

I would have been less reactive and had more fun.

 

[Lil]

Wow. Blast from the past. I just had to go back and re-read my old posts. I kind of monopolized the thread for a bit there...and I was definitely in a bad place in 2016. Now? Now I don't know. Maybe I'd have been stricter and taken a harder line about money and working, etc. I would likely not have wasted $10K on college when he never attended classes.

 

[Pink Elephant]

Wow. Blast from the past. I just had to go back and re-read my old posts. I kind of monopolized the thread for a bit there...and I was definitely in a bad place in 2016. Now? Now I don't know. Maybe I'd have been stricter and taken a harder line about money and working, etc. I would likely not have wasted $10K on college when he never attended classes.

How awful that you threw away all that money for nothing, Lil.

 

[Lil]

How awful that you threw away all that money for nothing, Lil.

I agree. LOL.

He flunked every class the first semester (that happens when you don't attend) then appealed his expulsion and was allowed back in for the 2nd. Flunked that too of course, for the same reason. We were on the hook for the housing and meal plan for the whole year by contract, so though we didn't pay tuition (he had loans for that) we were still out the money so he could sit in a dorm and smoke pot all day.

It does give me some small bit of petty satisfactions that he's in debt from the escapade too.

 

[Pink Elephant]

I agree. LOL.

He flunked every class the first semester (that happens when you don't attend) then appealed his expulsion and was allowed back in for the 2nd. Flunked that too of course, for the same reason. We were on the hook for the housing and meal plan for the whole year by contract, so though we didn't pay tuition (he had loans for that) we were still out the money so he could sit in a dorm and smoke pot all day.

It does give me some small bit of petty satisfactions that he's in debt from the escapade too.

And good! The pain shouldn't fall solely on mom. I'm not saying your son doesn't appreciate the support of his mom, but I know a lot of kids today that have no clue as to the value of a dollar and/or how hard it is to save.

 

[BusynMember]

Looking back, I was also in a different place since Bart was not yet being as respectful as he has mostly been these past two years. He is actually doing well and I am proud at his strong degree of love for his son. He deliberately puts his son first....always. I kind of did that with my kids. I'm not really sorry. I still forced a good work ethic out of them and in the end they are really thriving. And two of them had learning difficulties and could have used them as excuses to be lazy or not do well but they never did. They just tried harder.


I probably would still, in hindsight, be more consistent but really no parent is perfect and my kids seem to think I did a good job. So I wouldn't change that much.

 

[Enmeshedmom]

I also wanted to add that I don’t think the outcome would be much different if I changed the things I thought I’d done wrong but I might have ended up feeling a little less traumatized. Like I said before, my son has been following the same curve his whole life no matter what obstacles I put in his way. I missed out on a lot of fun trying to change him.