I'm so torn and so sad

[Childofmine]

Great! One Day At A Time and today is a great day!

Take it and relish it.

I really believe that being direct, firm and kind and setting boundaries that we can stick to (like no clean room, no phone) is what all kids need (and want).

I wish I had done better on that front through the years but I did the best I could at the time.

Your story is helping all of us! Thank you for posting here. We're here for up, the ups and the downs.

 

[Sooz]

I just keep trying to be positive with him. Trying the old all kids want attention negative or positive approach.
Yesterday we all went out as a family for my youngest daughters birthday. He was there. He actually was nice to her. They are 10 years apart would never think he would hate his little sister so much, but he does. He's even voiced it.
I know I can't get cocky. I have never been consistent with consequences. It gave me a beam of hope. I'm just little old me and it's working. I hope anyone that reads this gets hope from my story.
This forumn has been so helpful to me. You all have know idea

 

[Sooz]

So, I felt I should update you all. My son got a job!!!!! He got it all on his own. He is going on his 2nd week of going.
I have been going to therapy. It has helped me back off. I am working on me. I am making myself happy. Through therapy I have realized I focus to much on my children. I guess I just love them to much. I'm a control freak...go figure. Therapy made me realize that my life just revolved around them all the time.
I have not come to terms that everything is my fault. I don't believe anyone wants that from me. I will say things have changed a lot. For one the first time in a very long time I can say my son is productive and when asked get to share my pride. I do not think people realized how depressed my son was. Come to find out through therapy our children mimic us...if you are happy, productive and just doing something. They do the same thing.
Thank you for all your support when I was at my lowest and I needed advice from people that had no vested interest no way or the other of the outcome. There was a point all I talked about was my son in conversation and how bad of choices he was making.
I sincerely appreciate it.
Sooz