Isolation....

[Kjs]

I too am very sad, missing family as we once celebrated the holidays. Since my dad's passing and my mothers medical problems (nursing home, unable to speak) Nobody gets together. No cards, no phone calls. Nothing. I feel so bad for my kids. All their friends go to Grandma's or Aunties. We stay home just us four. (husband has no family). The saddest part is husband doesn't have family, I DO, yet they fail to remember that I exist. Even if I would happen to see them, they all talk amongst themselves about how much money they make. Knowing very well, the financial struggles my family has endured.

This will not sound very good, but the only upside of this whole situation is that my kids will not hurt as much when a relative dies. They do not know them. And we were NOT brought up to be this way. It was always family.

I am bitter and angry that My parents didn't get to know my kids. They would of been proud of how these young fellows turned out. I share my memories with my kids. And we have our own Holidays. We care for neighbor's pets, exchange gifts among friends. Even if it is just a meal.

Anyone who doesn't take the time to get to know our kids have a real loss. These kids are so special. Can melt your heart with a smile.

 

[looking4hope]

Well, it's better than being shut out completely, which is what happened to me (see my post under "Also new to site -- need help with relatives"). I have been told that my son and I are no longer welcome at family gatherings because of his unpredictable and sometimes violent behavior. One of my sisters and her husband are my son's godparents, too. What a great example for him!

But I have to admit that I have also isolated us because of his unpredictable behavior. Going to places like amusement parks are stressful, because I know my difficult child gets overstimulated and irritable, even though he's having fun! I let him bring a friend (just one) so that he has someone to hang out with, but it's hard to ignore the throngs of people all around.

I just hope that I can create a new "family" for us, so that he won't miss out on the social interaction and love that families can (and should) provide.

by the way, JJJ -- teachers rule!

 

[1 Day At a Time]

DDD,

I'm with you, oh how I miss spontaneous! I also miss my former busy social life. Our lives have narrowed and narrowed, since difficult child's accident and his inability to tolerate change and social situations has increased. Sometimes we go out for brief periods. We always offer him the option, but he usually chooses to stay home alone. I know we are doing the right thing, though, when I see the difference in him now that we don't demand he do the things that cause him such anxiety and meltdowns.

My husband lost his mom two years ago, and his siblings are spread from one coast to the other, both north and south. We haven't all gotten together in one place since her death. Due to difficult child's needs and my need to take care of my elderly mom - we decided to rent a house near my Mom's retirement community for holiday celebrations.Fortunately she lives in a resort area with good airport access (husband's brother is a hobby pilot and likes to fly everywhere). Next Thanksgiving will be our "trial run". We've decided to do this every year - and those who can come , will come. We know that it is going to take this to create more togetherness - and it meets the needs of difficult child and my Mom. husband came up with the idea - I think he is inspired!