Just how jaded are you becoming?????

[DazedandConfused]

Two wks later when I got the film back from Target, I found an entire roll of film filled with-pics of the kids in midair in all positions, jumping on the bed. Some photos only had feet (shot from an angle from the flr to the ceiling), some had only hands, and some had faces and torsos in midair. I died laughing. THAT's what they did the whole time we were out to dinner!

OMG! I burst out laughing at that one!

Though, I'm sure if I were actually IN the room I would have been desperately trying to get them to stop!

Son and I went on an educational tour to Washington Difficult Child and NYC over spring break. I won't even get into how stressful it was. I would NEVER do it again without husband "double-teaming" difficult child Son. Lots of frustrating moments for me as I was the group leader (last minute replacement, long story). There was two other groups with us. One middle school and the other high school. So, my group was younger.

Anyway, we get to our second hotel for NYC. The group leaders all go into the hotel to get the room keys and make sure everything is kosher with the room assignments. My charges, one being Son, were to stay on the bus until we came out to give them their key.

I step back onto the bus and Son is standing in front of the whole bus in the aisle-way. Everybody is cracking up and having a good ole time. One of the chaparones (sp?) says, "Your son is just entertaining us". I "showed them the hand" and stated, "I don't want to know". I'm sure I would have been mortified by what he said and did. But, thinking about it now, I chuckle. I'm definitely better off not knowning.

At the end of the trip, Son had several adult chaparones especially come and say good-bye to him because they wanted to thank him for making the trip "so much more fun".

 

[Wiped Out]

Oh yeah-husband and I survive on humor. husband's entire family is sarcastic and darn funny. I remember how we used to watch Rosanne and laugh hysterically. Other people we know hated that show-they said families weren't really like that-husband and I knew better. :grin:

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

I don't think I am jaded. I certainly am very cynical.

But Pixie and I THRIVE on humor. If I am at the end of my rope with her, instead of telling her that I'm gonna do something harmful, I'll say something like "I'm gonna bite your ". That might sound wierd, but she knows I'm kidding. I also have a list of things that she says that get me rolling on the floor laughing. And me, I am an improv comedienne in a dinner play. That tight there is my outlet. I get to pretend that I am somebody else (a 93 year old Italian grandmother) for a few hours. And while I complain about the the Friggin Toad (and he IS an amphibian), Pixie spends every other weekend with him.

Ah, respite...

 

[Suz]

"The first time you mentioned adoption, I should have slapped you silly."

Then-husband said that to me one night when Rob was 10 and we'd had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

I LMAO. Thank God. Thank God I could still laugh.

And it became *our* saying for many years. It got to the point where we only had to say..."the first..." and we knew what the other was about to say and we would laugh.

Jaded?

You bet.

sigh.

Suz

 

[timer lady]

Suz,

husband & I often lament over the fact that we spent our money on a home study rather than a hefty down payment on a PT Cruiser. And then start laughing hysterically.

Thanks for sharing all the humor & such. It helps.

 

[hearts and roses]

I am definitely more suspect about things with my own kids and my friends' kids. I am more apt to be skeptical about any given situation and its reality than I used to be. I used to be so naive and innocent and now I question everything.

The reality is that things just aren't so real to me anymore. LOL. And yes, a sense of humor helps!

 

[Arttillygirl]

My husband has returned to drinking (not excessive) so there is a silver lining to this stress, he he: he's a whole lot more fun and less tightly wound-our jokes to each other have become borderline wicked though. Just teasing, hey gotta get it out, might as well have some fun.

 

[flutterbee]

My husband has returned to drinking (not excessive) so there is a silver lining to this stress, he he: he's a whole lot more fun and less tightly wound-our jokes to each other have become borderline wicked though. Just teasing, hey gotta get it out, might as well have some fun.

We have to find the humor. If we weren't laughing we'd by crying and that just makes your nose all stuffy.

 

[Marguerite]

Humour is a life-saver. But it CAN backfire, out in public.

Example - I was shopping last week with difficult child 1. We were in a wholesale place, he was loading up a box for me with the frozen lasagne I'd bought. I forget what I said to him, I was teasing him fairly hard about having weird tastes and how I preferred things differently. He replied, "That's because you're a FREAK!"
I could hear people gasp. This young man (dressed like a street thug, or biker) was being rude to his mother. I laughed but it seemed to make things worse. I made a joking sarcastic remark back along the lines of, "Remember, genetics will see you turning into your parents so don't be too critical - I am your future", but it seemed weak. The trouble is, he is a good actor, he had managed to sound menacing even though he was only joking.

We got out of there in a hurry - the atmosphere was frostier than our frozen lasagne.

In the car I had a look at his appearance - black biker boots with metal plates all up the front; mirror sunglasses, black bandanna, black shirt with skull & crossbones on it, studded leather armbands round both wrists. Hmm, no wonder people were a tad nervous. Little do they know, he's a pussycat these days. Would you believe, he even dresses like that when he teaches Sunday School?

We tend to avoid sarcasm because difficult child 3 doesn't understand it very well. We are trying to teach him but it takes time and has to be handed carefully. But we do joke around with the kids and encourage them to do it back - some people are horrified at the apparent disrespect, but the kids will stop instantly if we lose our senses of humour.

As a rule, though, we avoid put-downs as part of humour, unless we're following up with "but seriously, I am very proud of how you are doing," to make sure we counter any possible negative fallout. So if we do stir the kids ini a negative way, they ALWAYS know we are joking and we never try it unless they're laughing, joking, in a good mood and dishing it out to others. And we always pull back before it comes close to looking serious. And they're allowed to do it back - but the same ground rules. difficult child 3 has to be reminded, though, that it's OK at home but not with anyone outside the family.
Example - today we had some kids visit and they were playing badminton near a rather scratchy tree. One boy fell into the tree and scratched his leg. He complained about it and difficult child 3 got a bit impatient with him. "Whine, whine - do you want some cheese with your whine?"
I had to shut him up. I don't know where he got THAT one from - I suspect easy child 2/difficult child 2, or he heard it somewhere on TV.

When life is tough, you have to be able to laugh, otherwise you'd just want to slash your wrists. It's like saying that the light at the end of the tunnel is really an oncoming train - it really feels like that, if we take the time to stop and think. So we try to not think and use humour as a barrier to all that pain.

by the way, Timer - I tried to PM you but it wouldn't send. Don't know why. I had to laugh that one off, too.

Marg

 

[Pam R]

> Or, I threaten to "kick them to the curb" with
> a sign stating "Take my kids, I'll pay you!"

I saw this and thought, now why did I never think of this one???

Then it occurred to me, I live in a rural area on a farm and don't have curbs. :rofl:

We've often said about selling DS, give away, we pay you to take, etc. but no takers. :hammer:

And our humor is often warped too. I guess it's a common coping mechanism.

When your choise is laugh or cry....

Pam R.

 

[Sheila]

A couple I can think of off the top of my head, because they are standing jokes between husband and me. Most wouldn't understand and think we are horrible. lol

When difficult child pulls a boner (more often than not it seems sometimes) husband says, "He's yours -- you've got papers on him." (husband is bio dad, I adopted difficult child)

If marriage breaks up: Whoever leaves has to take difficult child.

Sometimes, we just look at each other and start laughing -- it doesn't have to be said, we know what the other is thinking. :grin:

 

[LittleDudesMom]

I can't say that I've become jaded. To me, jaded has a negative feeling. When difficult child's behavior began to get out of control, I was stressed and nervous all the time. I jumped when the phone rang, didn't sleep well, and ate all the time.

As we began to work with him through therapy and medications, I began to educate myself, the school stepped in to help, I found this board, and I saw difficult child a little more clearly.

I feel stronger as a mother. I don't have a partner to joke with about issues but I have plenty of humor in life.

I haven't had really negative experiences with tdocs, psychiatrists, or the school.

My difficult child is still fairly young so perhaps the tough part is yet to come.

But in many ways, I become less uptight, more understanding, and a better mom and person for having this struggle.

Sharon

 

[TerryJ2]

If we weren't laughing we'd by crying and that just makes your nose all stuffy.

That's for sure! :grin:

 

[Arttillygirl]

by the way:
I never joke with my son in a way that puts down ANY of his shortcomings, even during a board game. Interesting how much acerbic wit he can dish out but cannot take ANY himself! ha

 

[Hound dog]

Anyone who knows me will tell you I have a warped sense of humor. I'll crack up at the weirdest times over things other people can't fathom as being funny.

Laughter can be a much needed relief valve.

I stopped taking life so darned seriously all of the time. It's more fun this way. :grin:

 

[flutterbee]

Anyone who knows me will tell you I have a warped sense of humor. I'll crack up at the weirdest times over things other people can't fathom as being funny.

Same here. People look at you very strangely when you do that, too. Oh, well. I'm just having more fun than they are!

 

[Just keep swimming]

Great topic! There are sooooo many things I laugh about or joke about with husband or only a few others or here on the boards about gfgness. Aly has had issues with drooling at night since, well, forever. When she wakes up in the morning, she is supposed to go into the bathroom and wash up, brush teeth, etc. This morning she came out, jammies still on, dried drool everywhere and obviously still mussed bed head hair. I asked if she forgot to do something before coming into the kitchen for breakfast and she said "Well, mom, thought I'd go for the just woke up look today" OMG, thought I'd bust a gut! She hasn't the best sense of humor and often doesn't get jokes, so it totally cracked me up to hear her say that!!

husband asked me the other day is we might have been better off if we had just started breeding our golden retrievers, instead of adoption. Believe me, he was totally joking, he adores his girls! But if someone had overheard, yikes! I answered with, no, at least these kids are potty trained (well working on it at least with the 3 yo! LOL)

My good friend called tonight, she was having a really rough day with her adopted 3 yo daughter. We bantered back and forth about taking the lowest bidder for our difficult child's. Then we both said at the same time "wait, our phones are probably bugged by CPS, better watch what we say!" OMG, it was just classic!

My Foster boxer dog, Gama, sleeps in a crate in our living room. All the kids love to get in there. One day, Jayme got her pillow, fav blankie and some books and a doll, and "locked" herself in the crate for some quiet time. I took a picture, it was so funny and cute. When the pictures were developed, husband says "well there's one to send to CPS!!" For those of you who remember what happened a while back with us and CPS, you know this was a funny!!

My best friend adopted Jayme's 3 oldest sis'. My friend and I used to joke, "once the adoptions are final, we can beat you" Joking and always telling them we were joking. Well, on the Adoption finalization day, when the judge asked the girls if they wanted to say anything before they started, the middle one who was 5 at the time, said "Hey mom, in a little while you can beat us, huh?" Thank God the judge was awesome and totally cracked up. Whew/phew!!! Out of the mouths of babes!!!

On Saturday, we took future Grandson with us to a friend's daughters 3rd b'day party. Aly, being Aly, walked in like she owned the place and started introducing everyone. Everyone thought it was so cute. Then she started to explain how easy child 2 and his fiance live in an apartment together with fiance's son, who was NOT her brother's son, and then turned to me to ask if that was a sin. OMG, where is that hole in the floor when ya need it? My friend said, "heck no, that's life" Everyone cracked up.

Well, that's enough for now. My mind is racing with silly things that we have said or done to lighten up an otherwise miserable day!

Thanks Linda, awesome thread!
Vickie

 

[TerryJ2]

Too funny, Vickie! My difficult child used to love to get into the kennel with-our collie, too. Scared the $&$# out of me! One morning I couldn't find him, but the TV was on in the kitchen (tuned to cartoons), and his cereal was on the table. Then I thought, why is his blanket in the kennel? And there he is, squished in there with-a 75# collie, watching cartoons through the grate! All I could think of was those parents who went to jail for putting their kid in a kennel!!!

 

[Hanging-On]

PamelaJ's reply is 100% my reply. I yearn for a sense of humor, or the response that other people get around difficult child. He's so much better out in the world, than at home with me.....sigh :frown:

 

[Abbey]

I have become very jaded over the years, and don't really like that about myself. I used to be so positive and hopeful...now I'm skeptical and depressed most of the time. :nonono:

I have always had a rather sarcastic sense of humor, so that has not changed. It's just getting 'new' people to understand that is my way of interacting.

Abbey