Mother and daughter

[Brokenheart61]

I've never told her how it hurts ever since she told me not to call her anymore it just hurts not knowing why I respect her wishes so I don't call I guess it's the unknown the least she could do is let the kids call

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[Scent of Cedar *]

I agree, Broken. But she will not. There is nothing, just for right now, just for today, that you can do to change your daughter's mind.

You have tried everything you know.

Now, if you can learn to let go of the pain of it, if you can learn to trust that everything is as it was meant to be, then, little by little, things will get better for you. Whether your daughter calls is less the issue here than your own survival. As we discussed before Broken, there are people, children, animals, libraries, schools, right in your own town who do need you, who would be so grateful to hear from you and to have you in their lives.

Sometimes Broken, we don't get those things that we so desperately want. Then, we need to learn how to survive without them.

That may be the only choice we have.

You have to try, Broken.

If you are too sad at this point to take on a volunteer commitment, then are you able to take a walk? What about just going outside to sit on the porch? I did that, this morning. Just sat there quietly.

I heard the most incredible birdsong, Broken.

Just a few minutes in the sun. You can do that. Maybe tomorrow, you could take a short walk.

Small steps will get you out of where you are, now. Small, small steps. One day, you can look back, and see how far you have come.

Cedar

 

[Brokenheart61]

Thank you I would be lost without your encouraging words

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[tryagain]

Broken, I am so sorry that she is acting like this. I know firsthand the pain that a daughter's actions can cause to her mother's tender heart. The only way I got through my daughter's rejection of me two years ago was to detach. Read the article on detachment- the first post in Parent Emeritus. It saved me. If you can detach, you can also reattach, if it ever works out for you to do that. But for now, this may help you to put one foot in front of the other, as it did me.

I am still on the journey where I never know what the next day is going to hold as far as my bipolar daughter is concerned. A month ago, she was in a mental hospital for attempted suicide. One month later, she is doing much better but still has bad days like the one last week that I told you about. So it is a minute to minute thing for so many of us. Not even day to day-and sometimes, not even hour to hour. But all we really have is this moment right now. The moment you just had is already gone. We have no choice but to move forward into the next moment.

So trying to put some distance between you and your daughter while she is being difficult, to my way of thinking, is vital for your sanity. I know it was for mine. Hugs to you and sending my best wishes, karma, and prayers.

 

[Brokenheart61]

Thank you so much for your kind words ,my thoughts and prayers are with you

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[Scent of Cedar *]

Broken, did you sit outside for a little while, today?

I did.

:O)

Cedar

 

[Brokenheart61]

I did ,we went to Disneyworld I was helping my youngest grandson get ready for a picture taking ,and my dumb luck I stepped back and missed the step long story short I ended in a wheelchair for the day ,little sore but okay

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[Childofmine]

Broken, I have been following along and I am so sorry for your daughter's choice not to talk to you right now.

Feel the pain, broken, as you are doing, and then get up, turn your energy toward yourself and something productive in your life, and set it aside.

Start doing that every single day. In time, as you practice more self-care, the good minutes in your life will turn into hours and the hours into days. Regardless of what your daughter does or does not do.

It is very hard to understand that things can be good for us, even if they are not good for our children, whom we love so much or between us.

I am learning to accept what is. I am learning to look truth full in the face, and feel the pain of it, and then go on with my own life.

I have decided, Broken. I have decided that I want a wonderful life. And I am going to work to have one.

I hope you will too. This forum, reading and writing on it, can move you toward that full life, among many other tools that are there for you. Read all of these threads and start making your own list of tools that will work for you. Then use them, every day.

I promise you that you will change. Anything we focus on in our lives brings results. That is one of my mantras, and always has been.

Hugs and peace and blessings to you tonight.

 

[Brokenheart61]

Thank you so much for your caring words and I bless you as well

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[nlj]

I am learning to accept what is. I am learning to look truth full in the face, and feel the pain of it, and then go on with my own life.

Me too!