My dad has lung cancer

KTMom91

Well-Known Member
I've been here a really long time, and while I know people who have changed their user name and identifying details for various reasons, I have never seen anyone come back as a totally different character, with a whole new scenario, especially when they have made friends and built relationships under another name. I do remember this person, from way back, but didn't connect the two until the response on this post.

I, like Copa, don not know what to think.
 

Nandina

Member
I have read other postings from SWOT and the username had been changed to something else. It was not Busy, but I can’t remember what it was. I’d recognize it if I saw it though. I think this is some kind of error in the system.
 

Nandina

Member
If I remember correctly, the name had been changed to something like Forever Spring. Does that ring a bell with anyone? I can’t find any postings from that name when doing a search. Something strange is going on. Have we been hacked?
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Forever Spring.
Yes.
Have we been hacked?
I don't think so. SWOT seems to have changed her name to Busy and then began to post with a new and invented identity. So, all of the posts that were Somewhereoutthere, and later Forever Spring came to be represented by Busy, who presented herself as an entirely different person than SWOT had been, with different children, a different husband, different races, and different problems. There were however similarities in voice and in the quality of the posts themselves, I think.

We wouldn't have known for sure without the the new post on this thread. I am wondering now, if that was a plant.

I guessed something was wrong because there were so many messages attributed to Busy, historically, even though she has been here a relatively short time. But never did I dream it was this. So. Here we are.
 
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Nandina

Member
Friends, I am confused. Busy says in her most recent post here that her dad died at 93 and he didn’t have cancer. The original poster back in 2016 (SWOT or whoever it is) said her father was dying at 91 and apparently he had cancer. And Busy said here she doesn’t even remember writing that post. Could it be because she didn’t write it? (assuming something changed in the system to attribute posts to her?)

Am I being naive or do you all have information that I lack? I can’t imagine she would change identities and everything else and not expect to be found out just by nature of people reading her posts and them not adding up.

She reads this forum regularly. I think she should have the opportunity to defend herself and provide an explanation. Or perhaps you all know something that I don’t. Otherwise, to me, it sounds like we’re jumping to conclusions.

Bizarre, any way you look at it.
 

ksm

Well-Known Member
Friends, I am confused. Busy says in her most recent post here that her dad died at 93 and he didn’t have cancer. The original poster back in 2016 (SWOT or whoever it is) said her father was dying at 91 and apparently he had cancer. And Busy said here she doesn’t even remember writing that post. Could it be because she didn’t write it?

Busy said she "barely" remembers writing that post, not that she didn't write that post. I remember there was some drama between SWOT and other posters. She announced that she would no longer post here. I love a good mystery, but my issues hasn't packed up and left town to live in a van down by the river. So I guess I'll just move on.

Newksm. And yes, my name has changed from KSM to newksm... because some how I was locked out of my account. But I posted about that. And I still have the same old crap to deal with on a daily basis.
 

Nandina

Member
packed up and left town to live in a van down by the river.
Lol—My absolute favorite SNL skit!!

I love a good mystery too, and perhaps we’ll know soon enough if she is the original poster. I think it would be difficult to continue posting here after you’ve been “found out.”
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
If we all move on it can be a non-event. I am still a bit dazed but tomorrow is another day.
 
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Copabanana

Well-Known Member
People are the way they are. This is the truth all of us struggle to accept with our children. That we have no control and that our center of gravity is in us and not them.. We also learn to trust our gut. In my case, I had the same issue with both identities. While I trusted my gut, I blamed myself for reacting.

We also learn on this forum:. To not hold ourselves responsible for what they do

This was a betrayal on a number of levels. Of course, we feel the gut punch. Clearly, this may not have been the first time someone came onto this board and for a week or two pretended to be somebody they were not. The issue here is the length of time and ongoing nature, and because this is somebody who most of us had known as her former identity.

In my case, I knew her very well. This is the greater hurt, that somebody perpetrated this on people she had known well for years and years and she sustained the subterfuge, elaborating the false story over time.

But the greatest betrayal is to the vulnerable people to whom she presented herself as having suffered in ways that she had not. On top of this, she gave them advice based upon events and experiences she had purported to live, but she had invented and she continues to do so. This is a betrayal of this board, even more so than of individuals who post here.

This person who did this wrote once (and I will paraphrase) anybody can come here and post anything they want. To me, this is not the spirit of this board. At least, I don't want to stay in a place where this is the ethos. This has been my issue all along with this poster. We need to post responsibly and measure the effect of our words.

At the end of the day, I feel compelled to write this out, in a post. I have the capacity to turn a corner here. I can do what each of us has done with our kids. See the reality of who they are. My center of gravity is in me. Trust my gut. And don't blame me.. Hold others responsible for what they have chosen, still choose, and for who they are. And I am okay.
 
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Deni D

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
Staff member
Seemed like a glitch in the matrix at first glance and then an eye opening, trust your gut, type of experience after the fact.

I was not a fan of SWOT, she had me doubting my son's bipolar behaviors were what they were and instead would tell me they were character flaws. She also implied he was crafty and sneaky, pulling the wool over my eyes.

As it turns out she was wrong. He's back on medication and is again kind and considerate. He was always honest and had a conscience but now instead of being on a hypo-manic high horse, telling people his truth (as he saw as being honest) and demanding people act with what he considered a conscience towards him regardless of his actions he's now back to being himself. Not perfect, but so much better than I ever would have expected, on many levels.

I'm still hoping something happened with the user ids and this is not what it seems, because if it's real, it's the closest I've come to a very disordered person. Very creepy.
 

in a daze

Well-Known Member
Seemed like a glitch in the matrix at first glance and then an eye opening, trust your gut, type of experience after the fact.

I was not a fan of SWOT, she had me doubting my son's bipolar behaviors were what they were and instead would tell me they were character flaws. She also implied he was crafty and sneaky, pulling the wool over my eyes.

As it turns out she was wrong. He's back on medication and is again kind and considerate. He was always honest and had a conscience but now instead of being on a hypo-manic high horse, telling people his truth (as he saw as being honest) and demanding people act with what he considered a conscience towards him regardless of his actions he's now back to being himself. Not perfect, but so much better than I ever would have expected, on many levels.

I'm still hoping something happened with the user ids and this is not what it seems, because if it's real, it's the closest I've come to a very disordered person. Very creepy.

I have been on the board for years, and I remember SWOT. Before she was SWOT, her user name was something else. So she has changed her user name at least three times. She was married, with three adopted children, one of whom had a drug problem and successfully kicked it. She had one bio son.

I remember all these details about her, because she used to post. A lot. Like I mean, every day, it seemed. Her posts had many typos, and she was very opinionated. So she would sometimes get into disagreements with other posters.

But I think she was a real person. I remember she stated she had a non verbal learning disability, like my son, which is relatively rare.

Not sure if she’s hijacked someone else’s user name, or if some other nefarious person did that, but it’s interesting that she had changed her user name three times.
 

in a daze

Well-Known Member
I have been on the board for years, and I remember SWOT. Before she was SWOT, her user name was something else. So she has changed her user name at least three times. She was married, with three adopted children, one of whom had a drug problem and successfully kicked it. She had one bio son.

I remember all these details about her, because she used to post. A lot. Like I mean, every day, it seemed. Her posts had many typos, and she was very opinionated. So she would sometimes get into disagreements with other posters.

But I think she was a real person. I remember she stated she had a non verbal learning disability, like my son, which is relatively rare.

Not sure if she’s hijacked someone else’s user name, or if some other nefarious person did that, but it’s interesting that she had changed her user name three times.

I did a search under BusyNmember, under “conversations “

It seems that she most likely was SWOT. I remember certain identifying details that you can read in these exchanges.
 

MyFriendKita

Active Member
She was MidwestMom to begin with. I was one of those who got into several disagreements with her (seemingly daily right before I quit posting). She was one of the reasons I got off the board. A lot of people said they appreciated her help, so I decided to quit arguing with her and just remove myself from the situation. One thing to remember is she had mental health diagnoses herself, so that might be in play in this situation. As much as I didn't care for the things she posted, it did seem to me she felt like she fit in here, and got positive interactions. I felt she was a bully a lot of the time, but, as I said, a lot of people seemed to appreciate her advice. Maybe that's why she did this, if that's what happened. Maybe her reasons weren't nefarious, maybe she juat felt like she needed to leave, but also wanted to stay. And I say that as someone who was not a fan of hers at all. But this did seem like a second home to her.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
A lot of name changes
It's the secret change of identity that bothers me. The pretending to be somebody you're not.

Inventing a new identity where you had been known for years and years as another person. Without explanation show up and pretend you are somebody else and post advice based upon your experience as that person who you've invented. That is different from changing names.

I can change my name a dozen times, and if I am still me, what is the issue? I would have explained just that, that I changed my name. But that didn't happen, did it?

It is the sneakiness and the lying. To people who know you. I have feelings toward this person. I guess I still do. I experienced her as sometimes bullying too, and sometimes a know-it-all and contentious. But I knew she had a good heart and was a decent person. I believed her to be a person of integrity.

I am disappointed in her. These are relationships of more than a decade in some cases. I guess she felt that it was all of this just pretend. To most of us, it's not.
 

in a daze

Well-Known Member
sometimes a know-it-all and contentious.
Yeah, definitely. One time someone messaged me complaining about her. Wanted to report her to the administrator of the board.
She was MidwestMom to begin with.

I‘ve been reading her latest posts. Apparently daughter, who had kicked her drug habit and had a stable relationship and career and a baby, and who she used to brag a lot about, has now developed borderline personality disorder and has a special needs child, who is neglected by her and the partner.

This recent situation sounds made up to me.
 

Nomad

Well-Known Member
Staff member
“I‘ve been reading her latest posts. Apparently daughter, who had kicked her drug habit and had a stable relationship and career and a baby, and who she used to brag a lot about, has now developed borderline personality disorder and has a special needs child, who is neglected by her and the partner.

This recent situation sounds made up to me.”

Yes.

I do not feel as comfortable as I did previously posting here. What ended up showing itself here is very strange and a bit mind boggling. They say truth is stranger than fiction. I guess we all might be extra vulnerable due to our difficult life circumstances. Perhaps we must keep this in mind. A lesson of sorts? Sigh. This has always been a place of refuge and help. A bit shook up. SMH.
 
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