Thanks for your response. Feeling so desperate right now. He has been seeing a psychiatrist and a therapist since June. The psychiatrist put him on Adderall and Depakote. The hospital. took him off the adderall -they thought (and I think a agree) that made him fixate on issues that enraged him. Since they took him off, his episodes do not last as long. Now he is on Straterra for his ADHD. It def. does not work as well to help him concentrate at school, but he does not fixate like he did. The depakote has never worked at any level. No improvement was seen even with increased doses. He no longer takes it. Tried to get hospital. doctor and psychiatrist to try something other than depakote, but the hospital. doctor said his problems were poor parenting and the psychiatrist just kept changing the dose of the depakote. On Mon. I called every child psychiatric in the area.... all were either not accepting new patients, didn't take any insurance or just not Cigna. Not sure what is happening in the Orlando area, but wow. Left lots of messages on machines - only got one returned call. Lots of sick children in FL?
When discharged from the hospital, they diagnosed him with, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), ADHD, Bipolar, Depression and Anxiety. Yes I know, if they diagnosed him with these issues, then why say it is our fault and can not be helped with medications? He only displays the outbursts at home - although he did flip out once in the therapist office. When at school or at the hospital., he is the model of the perfect, charming child.
More background on him. - Mom was in prison when he was born. We took him in as part of a Christian Foster care for infants of prison moms. After she gave birth, she did not see him for several months until I brought him to visit her. I picked him up at 2 days old. We had full custody of him for 6 months. (After giving him back to mom, we did our best to stay a part of his life. She would not allow him to visit often -only when she needed a break- so I called and visited as often as I could. They lived a very unstable life, moving from one home to another every few months - abandoning all of their possessions each time. Austin's punishments were severe, and sometimes pretty scary or very embarrassing.) Early during the pregnancy I know that she used marjuana and alchohol and she smoked throughout. Do not know what else if anything that she did. She was only 19 when I gave him back to her. She has epilepsy, does not currently drink. Both of her parents, her brother and my difficult child's biological dad all have spent time in prison. The bio dad also has long history of alchoholism.
As a baby, he was pretty high strung. He cried alot and threw up alot. When he got older (9-18 mo) he could would get frustrated at being in his car seat and cry for 2 hours straight. He was extremely curious and would systematically go from one item to the next throughout the room manipulating each thing as he came across it. I feel quite sure that even if Austin had lived in the most serene environment, he would still have been a difficult child. I think he walked at about 11 mo., can't remember when he began talking, but it seemed normal. He never liked being confined, could get out of his crib and playpen VERY early. Started showing symptoms of behavioral issues and learning problems at age 4. Although I repeatedly urged his mother to get him help, she did not.
We are not spankers, never have been. (If Austin had been my first child, I might have a completely different theory on it...lol.) Right now his discipline consists of time-out and a series of privledges ( going to play with neighborhood friends, going to the park, Super Mario, TV, the racing game...etc..) that he can earn or lose according to his behavior. We try to keep all discipline limited to today and tomorrow and make sure that at no time is it all lost, meaning he can always work towards something to recover. For the past several months when he progressed to the point of hitting, biting, kicking etc. we have called the police. He is too strong for me to restrain and has hurt each of us at one time or another. I hate calling the police, as I know that it probably increases his distrust (just read Raising Children who Refuse to be Raised) and in addition it causes him to have more school absences. Lately, (for the past few weeks - since the school urged us to stop the absences - we reverted to time outs in his room when there is someone here to help get him there safely. After today, I don't see how we can do that anymore.
Oh, and along the way he has been arrested twice. They took him in, kept him til about 3 am, then had us come pick him up. He was not at all disturbed by it, after the fact, that is. The prosecutor did not pursue either instance. In the end, Austin just got to stay home from school the next day.
Each of the psychiatric hospital admissions was after a violent episode where he injured one of us.
Sorry that my info is kind of here or there....guess that is how my brain is...
Thank you again.