I think I can speak somewhat to your situation. My husband (stepdad) threw my 43 year old daughter out. One day he just had all he could take. He did what I could not do. I was extremely unhappy with him for a long time. I didn't leave him, although I thought about it. With her went my two granddaughters. She should not have been living with us in the first place. We had rescued her for almost 7 years at that time. She's never stepped foot in our house again. I would go to visit my granddaughters iin another town where they lived. It's been very, very hard. I immediately got into Codependent's Anonymous, went to counselling, etc. Now almost 2 years later, I'm beginning to see what a difficult person my daughter is. I've finally broke through the denial. There are days I still want to deny reality because ii miss my granddaughters so much and want so much for them to have a good life. Right now they're living in a weekly motel. I understand your wife. I've been there. My husband stood and did what needed to be done. Have i completely forgiven him? Probably not, especially when I'm grieving my loss . But, on the other hand, I understand why he did it and we now are enjoying our life. We're in our 70's and it's about time. I don't miss the stress. Maybe one of these days I'll see my granddaughters again. I'm not advising you what to do and this a difficult time to anything with the holidays and all. I'm just saying there are days I'm grateful he had the guts to do it. I didn't.