WannabeAgoodFather
Member
OK. Things maybe taking a turn in my house.
My wife not drinking much, which makes me feel so much better to start and I heard her saying to her son loud and clear.
My stepson planned (This is always in place but no action has ever taken). Mother said "Ever since you came back to move in 2 years ago, you have not proved anything. You said you would go back to school as you wanted to but nothing has accomplished." Mother found out that son kept on telling her he had application to take classes but again failed to take any action so classes already started. Therefore, this time mother said he is going to take classes to become a X-ray technician. She told he son there is no other choice he has and he would have to sign up as it is starting in February. After listening to their conversation, I asked her.
"I hope you know that most of those schools like pharmacy schools take drug test during the school and once you get a job, they go through drug test and even you have a medical marijuana license, it doesn't mean anything but they will not hire him" Mother said "Ever since he started smoking, nothing good happened. It is not for everyone where some people can function well and does whatever needed. It is not his case where everything went on to free fall. It just doesn't work for him" I said I am glad to know that she is aware of it.
The question is, will he enroll the school despite the fact that he will have to stop smoking? I seriously doubt that. Mother said either he goes to school full time, get a real job to support himself although she insisted that she'd pay his tuition or he will have to pack and leave. From my experience, what she is saying will not last as son will try to find a card to tweak her decision. Anyway, at least a positive conversation for him is in place. At this stage and what I have witnessed, it will not happen. I hope it will happen but the chance and the pattern tells me it will not. He would rather find another job and move out. Whatever it is, I do not really care at this moment. I have so many other things to worry about. My father finished 5 rounds of chemo out of 6 and fighting cancer, youngest one waiting for college acceptance letters, stress from my work and I am more depressed than before. Drama just continues. Youngest went to NY to spend the long weekend with his filthy rich mother would not do any good for me as he will come back with attitude that I will have to deal with for next 2 months. When does this end? His mother buys him 10 $600 t shirts from Givenchy where I could barely buy him new tennis sneakers for his final season in high school. My father suggested me that I should let my youngest one go and do whatever he wants to do as far as college is concerned. I'd want to keep him near me, sending him to a State School. Berkley or UCLA is in his reach but his first choice is USC with $71,000/yr or U of Michigan for $50K+. Berkley and UCLA are as good as those schools that he wants to attend but I just can't afford it. When I got divorced, I literally gave every single penny to his mother including 2 multi million dollar houses that were fully paid off plus whatever I had in my bank account just to get the custody for my both kids with her. My father said I did what I had to for getting the custody but did not think about this consequences in a longer term. I ended up not having any spare money for myself for retirement as all the left over has gone to schools for my daughter and tried to keep the house in order. We cut down dramatically in terms of spending and lifestyle in order to face the new World that I had never lived. It is ok. We are not homeless... Instead of living in a mansion, we live in a smaller house but I tried to teach the youngest one what real love is and how to act like a real man.... It was a painful experience for the last 8 years but I am proud of myself and will not hesitate to do it again whether I have obscene amount of cash in the bank account or fight for the next paycheck.
Problems don't disappear where one after another pops up like weed on the grass....
My depression comes and goes... Sometimes, it gets worse and puts me into a bad mode.. I shut down... I see that one coming where I get into a bla mode... I have not taken a vacation since 2013. Vacation costs money plus I lose the opportunity to get paid for unused vacation. Wife, so used to take fancy vacation seldom tells me she wants to go here and there... I listen to it but inside of my head is like "Really? Is that what you want to tell me in this stage of life???"
My wife not drinking much, which makes me feel so much better to start and I heard her saying to her son loud and clear.
My stepson planned (This is always in place but no action has ever taken). Mother said "Ever since you came back to move in 2 years ago, you have not proved anything. You said you would go back to school as you wanted to but nothing has accomplished." Mother found out that son kept on telling her he had application to take classes but again failed to take any action so classes already started. Therefore, this time mother said he is going to take classes to become a X-ray technician. She told he son there is no other choice he has and he would have to sign up as it is starting in February. After listening to their conversation, I asked her.
"I hope you know that most of those schools like pharmacy schools take drug test during the school and once you get a job, they go through drug test and even you have a medical marijuana license, it doesn't mean anything but they will not hire him" Mother said "Ever since he started smoking, nothing good happened. It is not for everyone where some people can function well and does whatever needed. It is not his case where everything went on to free fall. It just doesn't work for him" I said I am glad to know that she is aware of it.
The question is, will he enroll the school despite the fact that he will have to stop smoking? I seriously doubt that. Mother said either he goes to school full time, get a real job to support himself although she insisted that she'd pay his tuition or he will have to pack and leave. From my experience, what she is saying will not last as son will try to find a card to tweak her decision. Anyway, at least a positive conversation for him is in place. At this stage and what I have witnessed, it will not happen. I hope it will happen but the chance and the pattern tells me it will not. He would rather find another job and move out. Whatever it is, I do not really care at this moment. I have so many other things to worry about. My father finished 5 rounds of chemo out of 6 and fighting cancer, youngest one waiting for college acceptance letters, stress from my work and I am more depressed than before. Drama just continues. Youngest went to NY to spend the long weekend with his filthy rich mother would not do any good for me as he will come back with attitude that I will have to deal with for next 2 months. When does this end? His mother buys him 10 $600 t shirts from Givenchy where I could barely buy him new tennis sneakers for his final season in high school. My father suggested me that I should let my youngest one go and do whatever he wants to do as far as college is concerned. I'd want to keep him near me, sending him to a State School. Berkley or UCLA is in his reach but his first choice is USC with $71,000/yr or U of Michigan for $50K+. Berkley and UCLA are as good as those schools that he wants to attend but I just can't afford it. When I got divorced, I literally gave every single penny to his mother including 2 multi million dollar houses that were fully paid off plus whatever I had in my bank account just to get the custody for my both kids with her. My father said I did what I had to for getting the custody but did not think about this consequences in a longer term. I ended up not having any spare money for myself for retirement as all the left over has gone to schools for my daughter and tried to keep the house in order. We cut down dramatically in terms of spending and lifestyle in order to face the new World that I had never lived. It is ok. We are not homeless... Instead of living in a mansion, we live in a smaller house but I tried to teach the youngest one what real love is and how to act like a real man.... It was a painful experience for the last 8 years but I am proud of myself and will not hesitate to do it again whether I have obscene amount of cash in the bank account or fight for the next paycheck.
Problems don't disappear where one after another pops up like weed on the grass....
My depression comes and goes... Sometimes, it gets worse and puts me into a bad mode.. I shut down... I see that one coming where I get into a bla mode... I have not taken a vacation since 2013. Vacation costs money plus I lose the opportunity to get paid for unused vacation. Wife, so used to take fancy vacation seldom tells me she wants to go here and there... I listen to it but inside of my head is like "Really? Is that what you want to tell me in this stage of life???"
