RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
After I posted a new thread this morning I got a call for my son's therapist. She has been seeing him for 5 weeks now and doesn't feel much if any progress is being made.
He has a sense of entitlement
He is somewhat judgmental - He looks down on others that have more serious drug problem
He said he's living in sober living because it's "cheaper than an apartment"
Said he's going to live in our condo
Said he's going to college and live in an apartment
He doesn't really need help but knows he can no longer take benzos
Holy ! Where did he get this from?
She asked him if they discharged him what he would do and he said "his parents would figure it out". What?? We sent him there because he needs HELP. He made our lives a living hell.
I am so EMBARRASSED by his behavior/attitude. I did not raise him to act like this. I did not raise him to think he's better than anyone!! I thought he would be humbled by being there.
The therapist sounds like a younger girl and she mentioned she is pregnant but she sounds very knowledgeable and has been doing this for some time (and I've talked to lots of them). She has seen this before with his age (20) so is hoping we can redirect him. Feeling pretty hopeless right now. I really had high hopes for sending him away but the past few days I've had this inner feeling that he really wasn't driving change and now it's confirmed.
I asked his father to call him and told him not to be angry and ranting and raving but talk calmly. So he did. He laid it on the line and said if he is not successful in the program he was on his own with no help from us. He'd have to work and find a place to live there in Delray on his own. My son said he'd just BS them and his dad said no, that's not what we are asking you to do. It's not just having a job and staying sober. That's not enough. He has to drive the change or we will not be moving forward with sending his car or paying for college etc. for him. He told him he cannot live in our condo EVER and we have no idea why he'd say this.
As a mom I have to back away. If he is not going to change then that means he will continue to hurt me. I can't let him hurt me anymore. I am not going to talk to him for a while until I hear that something has changed. I can't keep doing this to myself. I don't know if this is the right thing to do but I just feel so heartbroken that once again he refuses to see his problem.
He has a sense of entitlement
He is somewhat judgmental - He looks down on others that have more serious drug problem
He said he's living in sober living because it's "cheaper than an apartment"
Said he's going to live in our condo
Said he's going to college and live in an apartment
He doesn't really need help but knows he can no longer take benzos
Holy ! Where did he get this from?
She asked him if they discharged him what he would do and he said "his parents would figure it out". What?? We sent him there because he needs HELP. He made our lives a living hell.
I am so EMBARRASSED by his behavior/attitude. I did not raise him to act like this. I did not raise him to think he's better than anyone!! I thought he would be humbled by being there.
The therapist sounds like a younger girl and she mentioned she is pregnant but she sounds very knowledgeable and has been doing this for some time (and I've talked to lots of them). She has seen this before with his age (20) so is hoping we can redirect him. Feeling pretty hopeless right now. I really had high hopes for sending him away but the past few days I've had this inner feeling that he really wasn't driving change and now it's confirmed.
I asked his father to call him and told him not to be angry and ranting and raving but talk calmly. So he did. He laid it on the line and said if he is not successful in the program he was on his own with no help from us. He'd have to work and find a place to live there in Delray on his own. My son said he'd just BS them and his dad said no, that's not what we are asking you to do. It's not just having a job and staying sober. That's not enough. He has to drive the change or we will not be moving forward with sending his car or paying for college etc. for him. He told him he cannot live in our condo EVER and we have no idea why he'd say this.
As a mom I have to back away. If he is not going to change then that means he will continue to hurt me. I can't let him hurt me anymore. I am not going to talk to him for a while until I hear that something has changed. I can't keep doing this to myself. I don't know if this is the right thing to do but I just feel so heartbroken that once again he refuses to see his problem.