Okay admit it...

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus Archives' started by everywoman, Jan 4, 2008.

  1. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I was a definite easy child. However, I really had a mouth on me (still do) and it drove my poor Mother nuts.

    My difficult child Dad always said that he never had to worry about me getting in trouble because I was so well behaved. My Dad did enough GFGing for the both of us! My home life was always in such chaos that the last thing I wanted to do was create more.

    I did do little things, but nothing that would earn me difficult child status. I drank, but didn't get drunk. My Dad used to let me have drinks of his beer as far back as I could remember.To this day, I LOVE having that first swig of an ice cold beer on a hot day. I worked at a liquor store at 16 and would sometimes have a "couple" when I got home from work. My parents always said they didn't mind as long as I did it at home. I know, very weird, but my body just tells me when to stop, even today I usually can't drink more than one, or two, drinks at the most. And that I only do occasionally.

    I wasn't a great student, but I did excel in history. Never got in trouble at school. I did experiment with pot, but that's about it. It was the 70s and it didn't have the strength like it does today.

    Both of my younger siblings were difficult children. Running away, drugs, living on the streets, and jail were involved. Both got their acts together in their 30s. I really thought my brother was a lost cause, but he came back from the brink. There's always hope.

    I was so hard for me to accept that I difficult children to raise. But, here I am. :geek: :crazy2:
     
  2. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    I was definitely a easy child, a total goodie two-shoes all the way!! Never got into trouble with my parents (although I can remember 3 spankings when I was little), never got into trouble at school (teacher's pet most of my grade school years), never got into trouble with the law. I loved getting good grades in school and graduated high school number 11 out of a class of 500.

    I was and still am a strict rule-follower to the point of where it makes some people sick. I love rules and I like following them, and I expect other people to follow them and when they don't, I am disappointed. I know I'm unrealistic to expect everyone to be like me.

    I have never swore at my parents, and I never wanted them to think badly of me (my mom is 81 and I still don't want to disappoint her). I never said "I hate you" to my parents, although I admit I did THINK it in my head sometimes.

    I think because I was such a easy child that it is especially hard for me having difficult child's.

    sue
     
  3. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Definately a difficult child, although maybe I wouldn't have been as bad with a different set of parents.

    My mother was a big believer in keeping a tight rein and I really rebelled. I was in my senior year, worked, and all of my pay was taken except for 20.00 that I could play with for the month. I wasn't allowed out past 9:00 cause you "can only get in trouble after 9:00 - ha" I was engaged as well, because, that is what you did back then. I broke off the engagement and all hell broke lose. I never had a friend my mother approved of, and as far as dating, never had a boyfriend she approved of either. Up to this point, I wasn't even close to difficult child's of today - I had a rare beer, had only slept with one person, didn't do any drugs - I just liked to be out and about doing nothing in particular.

    Mom had decided that being married woud settle me down, and actually took to locking me in my room. When that didn't work, my grandmother went for an arranged marriage with an Italian man who just came over on the boat, and dug ditches for a living. One day at work one of my co workers said we should go to California, and as usual with my lack of impulse, said I'm game. Went home, packed a suitcase (with like two weeks worth of clothes), flung it out the window when they came to pick me up and raced out the door and off I went with two guys I didn't even really know - one of them (ken) ended up being he father of my eldest.

    Somewhere in a rest stop in the mid west, I lost my clothes, so ended up in San Francisco with just the clothes on my back. Ken had relatives so we hung out there for a while, then someone said lets go down to LA, so the next big adventure was on.

    Ken had a cousin who took us in, we got jobs that paid just enough for a little bit of gas and an apartment (60.00 a month and furnished) We ate courtesy of the Love In's and the Hari Krishna people who always had a big table spread up in Griffith Park almost every day. By this time I was pregnant, Ken and I were fighting like crazy cause he had a drinking problem and I had decided to keep the baby and ditch the father. He wanted to get married, but I knew that would be the worst mistake of my life.

    Eldest was a year old when I found myself on my own - I found a babysitter who would keep her overnite, and worked three jobs just to survive. Eventually I got one that paid a lot of money (350.00 a month LOL) and it was then I went on a three year party hardy streak - lots of sleeping around, getting stoned and trying various and assundry drugs that were everywhere. And one day I just work up and said well, that was fun, and ended the party just as fast as I had started it.

    On a vacation to London and Paris, I met Dex. He came over here for a visit and didn't want to go back to England, wanted to stay and work here, and the only way he could do that was with a green card, so at 30 I found myself married. I did the make your bed and stay in it for 11 years, and called it quits.

    I miss my difficult child days, where I just lived on a lot of impulse and faith it would all turn out ok and something would turn up and it always did. I was always doing an Alfred E. Newman with the "What, me worry" Old Al rarely shows up now.

    I have no idea exactly when I morphed into an older overly responsible person, but will tell you I don't like it much. Its boring, and sooo predictable. :9-07tears: :9-07tears:

    Marcie
     
  4. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I was a difficult child. I'm the youngest of four and the other three were total easy child's. My parents didn't know what to do with me. I was never into drugs or drinking, but I was very disrespectful to my parents. I feel bad about it now but I kinda think I've made up for it because I'm closest to them. They live an hour away from me, so I don't see them everyday but I do call them every single morning, I include them with everything my kids are doing, follow up with their doctor appointments, and always make sure they're home safe if they're out late. Also, I'm the one they call when need a mediator. They've been married 52 years, but still don't communicate that well.

    I went to parties almost every weekend in high school, snuck out all the time, and skipped school occasionally. Sometimes I even took the car in the middle of the night to see my boyfriend. I also had parties whenever my parents went out of town (my siblings were out of the house already). I'm not sure how I got through high school without getting caught, but my GFGness did prepare me to raise mine. Sometimes the phrase "what goes around comes around" makes me regret those days! I turned it around when I was 20 and difficult child was born. It's all out of my system now and people who know me now would never ever guess how I was.
     
  5. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Well, I was I guess what my parents would consider "bad". I cut school, and partied way too much. I was in the burn-out crowd. I ran away from home, my mother was abusive in every way you could imagine and worse.

    I really wasn't that bad until I got to college. I met an older man who lived in the area, he was a drug addict and dealer. (Yuk, what was I thinking) I moved into his apt and quit school, became pregnant with difficult child. My family had moved 1200 miles away once I got to college and anyway and made it clear they were done with any support or care. I was basically homeless, and didn't know how to pay for college anyway. So there I was at his house. Once I got pregnant a lightbulb went on for me, and I straightened my life out. difficult child was born and this man started beating me while I grabbed difficult child and ran out and called my parents in the lobby of this apt building. I was 20, had a baby, homeless and it was winter. I called my mom who said don't call her. I called my friend husband. husband took me to the airport, the difficult child bio dad's parents bought me a plane ticket to anywhere I wanted to go. (These people had millions of dollars and difficult child bio dad never had to work-and never did, a real job anyway.)

    My grandmom helped me. Waiting tables, I saved every cent, and bought a car. I kept in touch with my friend husband. 3 months later, after many all-night phone calls, I drove back there and stayed with husband. I worked 60 hours a week, saved every dime and we got married. difficult child never knew he has another bio dad, he thinks it'd husband. We never told him and it's too late. That man(bio) tried to find me via my parents, who hung up on him. He never saw difficult child ever again. I gladly traded all my owed child support for that. He died thogh when difficult child was 9 as I googled his name in the obits. Baring all, Alyssa
     
  6. jmama45

    jmama45 New Member

    I havent read any posts yet. Here is my story:

    Childhhood full of drama. Dad and mom divorced when I was 1, after they lost their 6 yr old son, it broke them up. Dad is still with, unmarried to the same person he has been with since then. I always got along with him, better as an adult. Out of his 4 kids, I am the one that talks to him and sees him often. He is in my everyday life.

    Mom was always soft and caring. We respected her and did what she asked because of it. She was always there for us, always a great Mom. That said, she married two more times. Both alcohlics and one sexually abused my sister, his daughter. The drama was high and all my sibs are am mess today. One is recovered 12 years, but has ADHD and anxiety. One moved away and cut off family, she drinks too. One is at home at 34, he is an addict and gambler. One has a new girlfriend every minute, had anxiety and lives with mom on and off- is a mess! The last, youngest 29, moved away, but is coming home and will be again with Mom, not sure drugs, but she isnt doing great. Mom has enabled all these adult children and they are all leaching off her today.

    I was not a difficult child. I did party but grew out of it,never arrested and always worked and took care of myself. I got pregnant at 17, right out of HS. I didnt marry him, but he is in my difficult child's life. I worked from 18, the place I am at today. I do very well. I bought a house on my own at 25. I have been married 16 years and have a 14 yr old-who is doing great. I got drama out of my life when I had the baby.

    I stay distant from family, gosh every year they gets worse. I am seen by them as the "good" child and everyone comes to me to get in touch with other family member got them, or to hold family parties and such. I am like "the link" to them.

    My difficult child's father has drama there. I am starting to find out, more things that point to my difficult child's troubles. I was blind to the effect that house had on him. I just know I grew up at 18 when he was born, Did the right thing. Mom let me live there for a while, but I moved out and took care of us on my own.
     
  7. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> This has been a fun thread--I can hardly believe how gfgish some of you were! My mom would never have let me hang out with you guys!!</div></div>

    :rofl: :rofl:

    I don't know about the others, but honestly, I could write a book. :faint: I think I had a guardian angle sitting on my shoulder most of the time.

    This is a FUN thread, and I certainly hope it's archived. Especially since I didn't include the really incriminating stuff :rofl: (easy child has been known to lurk, and Nichole pops in occasionally)

    I'm having a blast getting to "know" everyone so much better. :smile:
     
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I guess I was the wierd one. I wasn't a total easy child, I certainly was not a difficult child. I lived the drama and fear of a difficult child brother (drinking at age 12, major stupid stunts, undx'd ADHD) who beat me. We do get along now, but it has been a long hard road. He has a brain that is wired strangely, and truly does not REMEMBER much of his violent actions as a child/teen.

    I sold beer at age 14. All through high school I was pretty much in charge of a store that sold some groceries, convenience stuff, beer and used books. I was and am a total book freak, so it was a great job. I never did like beer, and only tolerated the malt based wine coolers, so I didn't get drunk very often.

    My friends and I would go for a late night "party" with donuts and coca cola. My senior year my best friends prodded me into trying a cigarette. I was a social smoker for a while, and then after marriage only smoked away from home when I was depressed. (Now I know if I want a smoke I need to up the prozac).

    I had a very close relationship to my mom as we both became ill with chronic awful illnesses when I was 15. I had several misdiagnosis which lead to incorrect medical treatment. I did learn that I don't get the "high" feeling my friends all talked about. HAd prescription painmeds and muscle relaxers all the time since I was about 15.

    I went away to college and partied some. A fairly normal amount, less than many of my friends. I did a LOT of volunteer work with a great group, but the medical problems were always there.

    I came home to finish my degree at the local state university. Got a job at a locally owned restaurant with wonderful coworkers and owners. It was very much a hippie restaurant, we delivered pizza in hand painted VW Bugs. I was often tipped with joints. SInce I was terrified to smoke pot, I just gave it away.

    Met husband on halloween, was set up as his "date". Terrified because I did NOT want a steady boyfriend, we ended up married less than a year later with difficult child on the way. husband is my best friend, but he can drive me nuts.

    I set out to be the best parent I could, to raise a child who was happy and a contributing member of society. Through everything, that was my goal.

    It is great to hear all of your stories. Wow, some of you have really accomplished a whole lot. I think we should all be proud of where we are.

    Hugs to everyone,

    Susie
     
  9. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I grew up in a house with way too many rules. My father was Borderline (BPD) and erratic and harsh in his disipline so for the most part I was very careful not to cross him. I do admit I did break a few of his rules but they were outrageous rules to begin with and my mother even covered for me on occasion. I truly was a very good kid with a huge heart and a very active conscience. -RM
     
  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Just wanted to bump this up to give folks a chance to add to it before I move it to PE Archives. :flower:

    Suz
     
  11. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    WOW EW - what an incredible story about you! Thanks for sharing.

    As far as me being a difficult child- not really. Typical teen.

    As far as my sons biodad being a difficult child - he is a true psychopath, BiPolar (BP), and possibly the most evil person you'll ever meet. He answers to a different Master.

    I have NO doubt - why difficult child is like he is. It's genetic, it's learned, and I was so abused and degraded, loss of self - esteem I really had no idea what I was doing as a single parent. But I knew we couldn't stay in the abuse any longer and got out -

    That was 12 long, very long years ago - and I'm still hoping that nurture wins out over nature.

    Neat thread.