One of my worst nightmares

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Sep 1, 2016.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    My kids always ask me what my greatest fear is. I tell them that my biggest nightmare would be to lose one of my kids. It's true. I pray to God every night that I die before both of them. Right now I am having a health scare with my son and I am overly anxious and panicking.

    About a month ago he stopped eating, had frequent stomach pain, and constipation. He also complained of random headaches. I took him to his pediatrician, who ordered blood work and a stomach Xray. The blood work up came back normal, as did the Xray. The only thing they saw on the stomach X ray was a bit of constipation. I was ordered to give him MIralax, which didn't help.

    I finally got a referral to a gastroenterologist. Our first appointment was last Thursday. She didn't do much, except to feel around my son's stomach and say it felt a little tender. She then diagnosed him with acid reflux, and gave us a script for Prilosec. She also ordered me to double up on the MIralax. When I gave my son the Miralax later that night, he threw it all up. Then suddenly he developed a high fever.

    I called the online nurse, and she recommended I take him to the ER. At the ER they did a CT scan, and then informed me that my son had a very large tumor growing inside his abdomen. The mass was 10 cm. The hospital we were at did not have a pediatric department, so we were transported by ambulance to a different hospital.

    Hours after we were admitted to the hospital, the surgeon had a look at my son's CT scan and said the mass would need to be surgically removed. The surgery was performed later that night. The Dr. tried to do the surgery laprascopically, but couldn't. He had to cut my son wide open. The mass was sent to pathology. We should be getting the results any day now. It could be cancerous.

    We ended up spending 6 nights in the hospital. My son was finally released to go home yesterday. He still refuses to eat, and he is still constipated. We have follow up appointments next week with his surgeon and his pediatrician. In the mean time, I am a nervous wreck.

    My son continues to sleep a lot (very unlike him) and has very little appetite. I am so scared it's cancer. Today is my first day back to work after my summer vacation. My son is at home with my daughter, so at least he wlll have some help. He still moves very slowly, and he is in a lot of pain. I really need prayers, good thoughts, good vibes, anything sent our way. I am so scared for my son's health. Losing him is my greatest fear.
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Aw geeze CB. I am so sorry to hear this. I do want to tell you,as someone who has been through major abdominal surgery, it takes a long while to get back to normal from. Between clearing the anesthesia from the body, the other medications he is taking for pain and to prevent infection, and of course not eating because he feels like crap and doesn't feel like eating, of course he has no energy.

    Cancer or not, right now all we can do is hope for the best. The constipation is likely something called ileus. It's when the intestines become paralyzed due to some shock to their nerves, usually a blockage or surgery. In fact, he shouldn't have been released until he had gut sounds. was eating, and at least passing gas.

    I wouldn't push food at this point. If he is urinating normally, let him have water and diluted gator aide. If he is passing gas and stool, try him on some Ensure or Boost. Those will get some calories and nutrition into him and are very easy to digest.

    My thoughts are with you and your son, CB. Please reach out at any time, and keep us posted. OK. I may come off like a pedantic crabass, but I do have soft, broad shoulders, you are welcome to lean/cry on one or both anytime.
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  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Well he is at least passing gas, and that is why they released him to go home. He tried Ensure at the hospital, and hated it. He is barely drinking either. I am trying to push him to drink water. At least he is urinating normally. I am just a nervous wreck. On Tuesday is the first day of school. I always hate the first day of school. All those phone calls I have to make at work to try and locate missing students. Now this. The doctor cleared my son to go back to school on Tuesday, but he is still in a lot of pain so I don't know if he can manage a full school day by then. I am hoping and praying. Anyway, thank you for your encouraging words, GoingNorth.
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Go back to school already?!? After open abdominal surgery? Bet your son wasn't given any pain management, either!

    I missed 6 weeks of work after my surgery, and I had Vicodin.

    I prefer Boost to Ensure, though I drink the diabetic versions. It isn't a matter of liking or hating it (the only flavor that's drinkable is chocolate, by the way, and it goes down a lot easier if it's chilled.). He's old enough to do things because he HAS to. Especially if this turns out to be cancer, he needs to be as strong as possible for the treatments he will be undergoing. Tell him to drink the damned shake.
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    They gave him no pain medications. Told me to give him Tylenol or Ibuprofen if he has any pain. He had his gallbladder taken out two years ago, and that was done laparascopically, and they sent him home with Codeine. Why they didn't give him pain medications is this time is beyond me. I feel so bad for him. I wish I could transfer every single ounce of his pain and give it to me. If only I could.
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    That's downright cruel. Can you call his doctor and ask for something for pain? Kids bounce back a LOT quicker from abdominal and other surgery than we older folks do. Is he able to stand up straight yet?

    I was taking 10mg Vicodin 3x daily for about 2 weeks, then cut down to 2x daily for a week, then 1/2 2x daily and so on.

    But, I'm a lightweight when it comes to narcotics, so someone else might've needed more. The only problem I can see is that the pain medications will DRASTICALLY exacerbate the constipation and that may be why they weren't prescribed.

    Our new surgeon general sent personal letters to each and every physician out there asking them to "sign the pledge" regarding opiates, and as a result a lot of doctors just won't prescribe them.

    When he goes back to school, he should be excused from gym initially if it is contact or high impact sports and he should start back on half days for a couple of weeks.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Keeping good thoughts!
  8. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Praying for a good outcome. Painkillers are notorious for causing constipation. That might be the reason they did not prescribe them since constipation has been an issue.
  9. Copabanana

    Copabanana Well-Known Member

    CB. I feel so concerned for you! Does this not put that stupid job into perspective? Who gives a sh-t about them and their stupid phone calls. The only important thing is your son and you and your family. I am glad your daughter is helping out. Good for her.

    One step at a time. You are doing this. I agree with Going. He should be receiving pain medication!

    The poor kid. You are doing this. What would be difficult and terrifying for any one of us. Keep us posted.
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  10. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    I am so sorry!

    Praying for good news on the test results.


    I had 3 c-sections that had to be done from the belly button into the pubic area, and my recovery was at least a month. I can't imagine going back to school/work full time before then.

    Please let us know as soon as you can what the results of the testing are.

  11. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    I send prayers and love, hoping for good news soon. Waiting is sooooo hard.

  12. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    I am so sorry that this is happening, I hope you get results soon and it will all be benign. Please take care of you...

  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry to hear this CB. We're here for you......sending prayers for you and your son......sending you a big hug......(take deep breaths......)

    Keep us posted.......

  14. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    Prayers sent for your son and your family!

    Stay strong and keep us posted!
  15. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thank you all. The surgeon did say the mass looked benign, but he can't be fully sure until the pathology reports come back. What really scares me is that my son said he thought he was dying before the surgery. The pain and literally no appetite for over a month is what is scaring me the most. Lack of appetite is a sign of cancer. I don't know how I am going to be able to handle it if it is cancer. I almost lost my son twice during my pregnancy with him, and I begged God to save him. I am now asking the same, but this time it's worse. Please send prayers my way. I am not taking this well.
  16. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member


    I am glad the surgeon said it looked benign.

    That is some good news.

    He has a lot of experience, and while he is can't be certain until the reports come in, it is one good indication.

    I am sure that a tumor there would also cause no appetite.

    I didn't want to eat when I was recovering from abdominal surgery, either.

    We are waiting with you.

    Prayers and thoughts are going your way.

  17. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    If you have a large mass, benign or cancerous, you are going to have pain due to its pulling or pressing on other tissues and nerves.

    Loss of appetite is NORMAL when one is experiencing chronic pain. It also happens when one is experiencing severe constipation or the ileus that I mentioned before.

    At this point, the surgeon saying it looks benign is a good thing to hold on to. They've seen a LOT of masses and cancerous masses very often look different from benign ones.

    Keep your hopes up, CB. Worry about getting your son over the surgery at this point. Take things step by step. If you panic about the possibility of the mass being cancerous, your son will sense that and it will not only frighten him, but impede his recovery.

    You HAVE to be strong for him.
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  18. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CB, right now you don't know the outcome, try really hard not to let the fear take you over.....if your son is okay and it is not cancer (and the odds are good it's not) you will have spent all of this time worrying and frantic.....I am a worrier too, but 99.9 % of the time, the worry is for naught, it all turns out okay.

    When one is in pain, having no appetite makes sense, he's been in pain for awhile so that seems like a normal response.......try hard to not let your anxiety take over, take deep breaths, notice the fear thoughts that come barreling in and observe them and change them to something you're grateful that as a takes time, but we can interrupt those fear thoughts with gratitude thoughts......I do that too and it helps.

    I'm so sorry you're going through this CB, it's hard on us parents when our kids are sick or in trouble.......but your fears are just that, fears....not reality.

    Sending more prayers for you and your son........hang in there CB.......we're here with you.......
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  19. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I just want things to go back to normal, even with the dreaded phone calls. At least with that, I know what to expect. I have a coworker who was complaining to me yesterday that she does not like her teenage son's Chemistry teacher this year. She went down to the school to request a teacher change, and they denied her. She was so upset. She was near tears. She told me she was having such bad anxiety about it that she could barely focus on work. If only that was all I had to worry about for my son this year. One bad teacher for the semester is a piece of cake comparing to what we are going through. This really does put everything into better perspective for me. Don't sweat the small stuff.
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  20. Lil

    Lil Well-Known Member

    CB I'm praying for your son and for you. As others have said, the lack of appetite could have been for many reasons; pain and the constipation being two common reasons. Hang in there.

    As for him not eating now or drinking, lack of fluids is the worst thing for constipation. Try everything to get them down him and make sure you get him excused from any strenuous activity for a week or two. Big hugs my friend. We're here for you.
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