Hello, today I just found this forum and heaven knows I desperately need it. This is my first post
Background: my step son came to live full time with my husband and I this past January after we fought for custody since his mother was abusing him mentally, emotionally, and physically. She was recently hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar, had paranoia, and was put on anti psychotic medications and took herself off them immediately after being released from the hospital. She was hospitalized for being homicial and sucidal towards my step son and her best friend, me and my husband, and her parents. She only now has supervised visits with my step son, which she is supposed to set up, and has not done so since mid May. We have begged her to see him, and she responds with death threats towards my husband and I and says we are the ones who will "pay". She cannot be reasoned with at all. Once we got custody. My 13 year old step son moved a state away from his mother into our care. We had him previously the last 7 years for every other weekend and half the summers. I also have a biological 11 year old son. We couldn't be happier to get my step son away from the abuse and neglect he was experiencing. We finally had our happy family all together.
Upon enrolling him in school last year, he failed almost everything. He was in counseling. We had meetings with the school and his counsellors and were told he was going through a lot and not to "punish" him for bad grades. We really hoped this school year he would be more acclimated to our home and his new school. This summer we were concerned he had an eating disorder, he lost 41 pounds in 3 months. His pediatrician said to "keep an eye on it" after we asked about it several times, and she put him on Prozac for depression. He has massive signs of no emotions- besides boredom and anger, extremely self centered, and no regret. We began going to dollar stores and thrift shops to buy clothing, blankets, and toiletries For the homeless and every weekend dropped them off to shelters and he wouldn't even get out of the car. Fast forward to this September... My step son began to act more defiant to everything and we caught him lying about almost everything. He began to mistreat our animals (holding down the dog or cat until they were crying and still not letting go), trying to sneak out, lying to his grandparents that he needs money for school and having them wire money to a local drug store for him, not doing homework. We drug tested him and he was positive for marijuana. The school caught him stealing school property. He was skipping class. Almost everyday it was something. Talking to his private counselor we expressed our concerns and thought we had something else possibly going on because of his mothers history and wanted to get a mental evaluation. His counselor was against it and became irritated when we mentioned this. He thought this behavior was all from anger that his mother hasn't tried to set up a visitation. We called over 50 psychiatrists anyways and got an appointment finally for 3 months out for a mental evaluation. We enrolled him in a preventative program with a local probation officer, and talked to the school almost daily regarding his actions there. My step son began mentioning disturbing things such as "everyone should be allowed to kill one person", wishing that the probation officer and assistant principal were dead and that their while family was dead, that he thought someone was downstairs and wished there was cause he wanted to stab someone, that he really wanted to twist off the cats head and pull off all his legs, etc. 3 weeks ago he shot my 11 year old son in the neck with an air soft riffle, breaking the skin and it was bleeding and hurt. My son told me it was an accident and later told me it was not. He sticks up for him and doesn't want him to get in trouble. I also learned from my son that he was shooting our dog with this same gun while he was in his crate. Needless to say all knives, guns, etc were removed from our house. Later that week we got a call from his friends mother in our neighborhood at 1:30am because her son was missing. We checked his room and he was also gone. The police found them walking around the neighborhood. A week later, he told me he accidentally brought a knife to school. And the next day he told me he was planning on killing our cat the next day, and his plan on drowning him in the bathtub and acting like it was because he tried to run away. I called his counselor and left a message then called his probation officer and they recommended immediately picking him up from school and bringing him to the hospital for being homicidal. We did this, and he was out in 3 days with a diagnosis of conduct disorder and a doctor script for mst services. I took off the next week of work to try to get the mst services set up just to find out they denied it since he was hommicidal Since he has been released from the hospital, we have set up security cameras in our home, put door alarms on our doors, and have keyed locks into our bedrooms. On Monday, we have a court hearing for his curfew violation and I've spoken to his prosecuting attorney already to let him know the mental health issues and begged him to help us get my step son the help he needs. At this point, it sounds like we can ask for mst services to be court ordered. Right now I'm not sure if my family is in danger. I'm afraid for the safety of my 11 year old son, myself, my husband, our dog and cat, and ,my step son. We sleep with our doors locked at night. We both work full time so the kids are here for 2 hours after school by themselves with me watching the security camera footage like a hawk. This is effecting our lives in every way. I usually don't want to come home after work because I don't want to deal with the constant arguments and tension. I've even thought about divorce even though I love my husband so much, just to protect my 11 year old son from his step brother and best friend. I'm afraid maybe I'm over reacting, and feel so guilty but I think my step son needs out of home placement for the safety of our family. He is about 7-8" taller than me, and impossible to control. He told me 2 days ago while my husband was in the shower, that if I didn't give him back his phone he was going to throw hand sanitizer on kids at school the next day. Then proceeded to tell me he knows how to summon a demon because he used the computer at school to look it up. I don't like to be home with him when My husband is not home, even when he is in the shower. I also don't want to give up on him, he already had one mother do that to him. I don't know what to do. I went to see my doctor and was prescribed Xanax just to be able to sleep at night. This is ruining my life, am I just over anxious? in those of you dealing with similar issues- is he a threat for our safety or should we try mst services at home? From what I read online out of home placements don't usually work as well as the mst service. I'm torn. Any advice warmly welcomed- thanks so much for reading if your still with me
Background: my step son came to live full time with my husband and I this past January after we fought for custody since his mother was abusing him mentally, emotionally, and physically. She was recently hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar, had paranoia, and was put on anti psychotic medications and took herself off them immediately after being released from the hospital. She was hospitalized for being homicial and sucidal towards my step son and her best friend, me and my husband, and her parents. She only now has supervised visits with my step son, which she is supposed to set up, and has not done so since mid May. We have begged her to see him, and she responds with death threats towards my husband and I and says we are the ones who will "pay". She cannot be reasoned with at all. Once we got custody. My 13 year old step son moved a state away from his mother into our care. We had him previously the last 7 years for every other weekend and half the summers. I also have a biological 11 year old son. We couldn't be happier to get my step son away from the abuse and neglect he was experiencing. We finally had our happy family all together.
Upon enrolling him in school last year, he failed almost everything. He was in counseling. We had meetings with the school and his counsellors and were told he was going through a lot and not to "punish" him for bad grades. We really hoped this school year he would be more acclimated to our home and his new school. This summer we were concerned he had an eating disorder, he lost 41 pounds in 3 months. His pediatrician said to "keep an eye on it" after we asked about it several times, and she put him on Prozac for depression. He has massive signs of no emotions- besides boredom and anger, extremely self centered, and no regret. We began going to dollar stores and thrift shops to buy clothing, blankets, and toiletries For the homeless and every weekend dropped them off to shelters and he wouldn't even get out of the car. Fast forward to this September... My step son began to act more defiant to everything and we caught him lying about almost everything. He began to mistreat our animals (holding down the dog or cat until they were crying and still not letting go), trying to sneak out, lying to his grandparents that he needs money for school and having them wire money to a local drug store for him, not doing homework. We drug tested him and he was positive for marijuana. The school caught him stealing school property. He was skipping class. Almost everyday it was something. Talking to his private counselor we expressed our concerns and thought we had something else possibly going on because of his mothers history and wanted to get a mental evaluation. His counselor was against it and became irritated when we mentioned this. He thought this behavior was all from anger that his mother hasn't tried to set up a visitation. We called over 50 psychiatrists anyways and got an appointment finally for 3 months out for a mental evaluation. We enrolled him in a preventative program with a local probation officer, and talked to the school almost daily regarding his actions there. My step son began mentioning disturbing things such as "everyone should be allowed to kill one person", wishing that the probation officer and assistant principal were dead and that their while family was dead, that he thought someone was downstairs and wished there was cause he wanted to stab someone, that he really wanted to twist off the cats head and pull off all his legs, etc. 3 weeks ago he shot my 11 year old son in the neck with an air soft riffle, breaking the skin and it was bleeding and hurt. My son told me it was an accident and later told me it was not. He sticks up for him and doesn't want him to get in trouble. I also learned from my son that he was shooting our dog with this same gun while he was in his crate. Needless to say all knives, guns, etc were removed from our house. Later that week we got a call from his friends mother in our neighborhood at 1:30am because her son was missing. We checked his room and he was also gone. The police found them walking around the neighborhood. A week later, he told me he accidentally brought a knife to school. And the next day he told me he was planning on killing our cat the next day, and his plan on drowning him in the bathtub and acting like it was because he tried to run away. I called his counselor and left a message then called his probation officer and they recommended immediately picking him up from school and bringing him to the hospital for being homicidal. We did this, and he was out in 3 days with a diagnosis of conduct disorder and a doctor script for mst services. I took off the next week of work to try to get the mst services set up just to find out they denied it since he was hommicidal Since he has been released from the hospital, we have set up security cameras in our home, put door alarms on our doors, and have keyed locks into our bedrooms. On Monday, we have a court hearing for his curfew violation and I've spoken to his prosecuting attorney already to let him know the mental health issues and begged him to help us get my step son the help he needs. At this point, it sounds like we can ask for mst services to be court ordered. Right now I'm not sure if my family is in danger. I'm afraid for the safety of my 11 year old son, myself, my husband, our dog and cat, and ,my step son. We sleep with our doors locked at night. We both work full time so the kids are here for 2 hours after school by themselves with me watching the security camera footage like a hawk. This is effecting our lives in every way. I usually don't want to come home after work because I don't want to deal with the constant arguments and tension. I've even thought about divorce even though I love my husband so much, just to protect my 11 year old son from his step brother and best friend. I'm afraid maybe I'm over reacting, and feel so guilty but I think my step son needs out of home placement for the safety of our family. He is about 7-8" taller than me, and impossible to control. He told me 2 days ago while my husband was in the shower, that if I didn't give him back his phone he was going to throw hand sanitizer on kids at school the next day. Then proceeded to tell me he knows how to summon a demon because he used the computer at school to look it up. I don't like to be home with him when My husband is not home, even when he is in the shower. I also don't want to give up on him, he already had one mother do that to him. I don't know what to do. I went to see my doctor and was prescribed Xanax just to be able to sleep at night. This is ruining my life, am I just over anxious? in those of you dealing with similar issues- is he a threat for our safety or should we try mst services at home? From what I read online out of home placements don't usually work as well as the mst service. I'm torn. Any advice warmly welcomed- thanks so much for reading if your still with me
