Childofmine
one day at a time
Peter Lanza, the father of Adam Lanza, just told his story about being Adam's father, to a New Yorker reporter.
I just read it.
Throughout the story are threads of what we talk about right here on this site.
My heart goes out to Peter Lanza. He and his wife, Adam's mother, who Adam killed, did everything---and more---throughout Adam's life, to get him help and to help him. You can parse what Nancy Lanza did and didn't do for her son, up until the time he shot her four times.
You can parse that Peter and Nancy divorced, and Peter became more distant from Adam and the family in Adam's last years of life.
The whole story is profoundly sad, and as importantly, I read it carefully to see what I can learn from it about my own situation.
Some things I have concluded immediately:
1. You can't control what other people do.
2. You can't know ahead of time what other people might do.
3. You can only do the best you can every day.
4. Adam was in terrible hurt and pain. Nobody could seem to reach him, no matter how hard they tried, including the professionals.
5. Love does not conquer all---that is something I have learned and is confirmed here in Adam's story.
6. Nancy Lanza did the best she could. Peter Lanza did the best he could. They are and were not perfect, and perfection is not the standard in this life. None of us can be perfect.
7. There is deep sadness and hurt to be endured in this life. This is one of the worst that Peter and his other son, Ryan, will have to endure for the rest of their lives. Peter sounds like a very decent man who tried hard to do the right thing. I pray that people will have compassion and support for him.
8. We can only do what we believe is best in our own situations.
9. I believe in learning all I can to try to help myself.
10. I believe in learning all I can to try to help my son.
11. Then, it is my responsibility to try, to the best of my ability, to live what I learn.
12. I am so deeply sorry for the parents and families of the Newtown children.
I would interested in hearing what you all learn from this painful and tragic story.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2014/03/17/140317fa_fact_solomon?currentPage=all
I just read it.
Throughout the story are threads of what we talk about right here on this site.
My heart goes out to Peter Lanza. He and his wife, Adam's mother, who Adam killed, did everything---and more---throughout Adam's life, to get him help and to help him. You can parse what Nancy Lanza did and didn't do for her son, up until the time he shot her four times.
You can parse that Peter and Nancy divorced, and Peter became more distant from Adam and the family in Adam's last years of life.
The whole story is profoundly sad, and as importantly, I read it carefully to see what I can learn from it about my own situation.
Some things I have concluded immediately:
1. You can't control what other people do.
2. You can't know ahead of time what other people might do.
3. You can only do the best you can every day.
4. Adam was in terrible hurt and pain. Nobody could seem to reach him, no matter how hard they tried, including the professionals.
5. Love does not conquer all---that is something I have learned and is confirmed here in Adam's story.
6. Nancy Lanza did the best she could. Peter Lanza did the best he could. They are and were not perfect, and perfection is not the standard in this life. None of us can be perfect.
7. There is deep sadness and hurt to be endured in this life. This is one of the worst that Peter and his other son, Ryan, will have to endure for the rest of their lives. Peter sounds like a very decent man who tried hard to do the right thing. I pray that people will have compassion and support for him.
8. We can only do what we believe is best in our own situations.
9. I believe in learning all I can to try to help myself.
10. I believe in learning all I can to try to help my son.
11. Then, it is my responsibility to try, to the best of my ability, to live what I learn.
12. I am so deeply sorry for the parents and families of the Newtown children.
I would interested in hearing what you all learn from this painful and tragic story.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2014/03/17/140317fa_fact_solomon?currentPage=all