"if son is in that mood and you can cause a bit of a commotion.."
If that happens, don't get embarrassed. Simply say, "I know it's a problem. That's why we're here, because this is NOT right, we need help and we're not getting the help he needs. This isn't fair to him, either."
Don't blame the people there - just enlist their support. Sometimes you can go a long way by agreeing with people.
Example - local high school was having to accept the high likelihood that difficult child 3 was going to be enrolled there the next year. We were going through "transition to high school" at the only school which COULD NOT refuse to enrol him, and it was interesting to see the deputy principal quake in his boots. On the one hand he was trying to 'sell' the school (and making obviously untrue statements, such as "At this school, teachers do not shout at students" when I could clearly hear a teacher's raised voice from the floor above). On the other hand, he was struggling with the real problems we had already encountered with difficult child 3 due to his autism and realising bleakly that they just were not equipped.
The deputy was saying things like, "We make no exceptions here, no special consideration for a student's behaviour just because he has issues. He has to obey the rules like everyone else."
I pointed out, "He ISN'T like everyone else and cannot meet the same behavioural expectations. He also needs to be protected against bullying, I will require staff to be vigilant and to act preferably proactively."
We went into the problems and the deputy said to me, "I think your son would be better off somewhere else, somewhere more suited to a child with his special needs."
Instead of being offended at the implication that my son was not fit for 'normal' placement, I agreed with the deputy and thanked him for both his honesty and his perspicacity. "Thank you, sir, for being so refreshingly frank. Can you recommend such an alternative placement? All suggestions are very welcome."
He ummed and aahed, couldn't think of anywhere right off the cuff, then said, "What about partial attendance?"
I immediately replied (in the presence of the District Special Education staffer who had previously denied us access to this), "I am sorry, I have been repeatedly told that partial attendance is not possible. We requested it repeatedly over the past few years with no success."
It WAS true we'd been told it was not possible; I also knew this to be a lie. ANd now she'd been publicly called on it in front of this deputy. She had to speak up. "Actually, perhaps we COULD consider partial attendance now."
This gave me the opportunity to publicly tear strips off her. "NOW you suggest something we requested repeatedly for years and were repeatedly told was not available; and NOW you suggest it could be an option, when we are discussing enrolling him in a school which is over an hour's drive form where we live? The time to use this option was when he was in a school five minutes from home."
I had got to this point in the discussion, by agreeing with the expressed concerns of education officials who THOUGHT they were going to have to walk on eggshells, talking me out of something I had my heart set on (enrolling difficult child 3 in a mainstream high school). What resulted - I publicly demonstrated the total lack of appropriate placement/services for a child like difficult child 3. This then made the next step possible - the springboard into the public campaign to fix this.
I had minuted that meeting in detail. I carry my laptop computer with me and use it to take notes on the spot. I can also secretly record a meeting and have done so, although I can only use the recordings to help me ensure my minutes are accurate. I can never produce a recording because I have done it illegally. Having my own witness present as well, generally is enough to back me up (especially if my witness can refresh their memory by listening to my taped record, if they need to).
So if your frequent visits to the medical centre begin to cause problems, apologise for the problems but ask them if they can help you find a better way to get your son the help he needs. You will happily listen to all suggestions to see if there is something useful you haven't yet tried.
I do believe you, that your son is in the "too hard" basket and I think they really are hoping you will take him home and stop bothering them. The best way to deal with them, then, is to keep coming back again with the obvious expectation that someone will eventually decide to treat him.
Also, write letters. Your local MP is a good start. Keep copies of all replies as well as what you write. Also recognise that in just about every case, the first reply form your MP is likely to be a general, "tut, tut, you poor dear, I will get my department to look into it." And then nothing else. Maybe in a few months you could get another letter telling you what a wonderful health service you have in your country and how "of course any problems you may have had have undoubtedly been sorted out by now; glad we could help, don't hesitate to ask for any help in the future."
The secret is, to keep writing. Also make an appointment with your local MP (be prepared to only see a lackey - that's OK) and at tat appointment, have copies of the problem, of relevant correspondence etc ready to hand over. Keep your question simple and to the point - only ONE question, here. That question - "Where can I get appropriate medical and psychiatric treatment for my adult son with PWS? He has ongoing recurring problems which have been a serious concern for the last few years but we have not been given access to anyone who was prepared to treat him. There does not seem to be anywhere capable of treating a person in this category." Outline your experiences, mention what he has said to you (the emotional touch always sells it well, especially as a closing sentence coupled with, "I want you to fix this so my son never has to ask me, 'Mum, why can you not help me?' He does not understand the complexities of our health system, he only knows that he needs help and isn't getting it.") And see how this goes.
Once you start this process you need to be prepared to keep chasing it. You also need to show you've already done your homework - you do not want the MP to write back triumphantly with the contact details of the Dublin PWS support group. You need to show that THEY are desperate too, or they don't deal with adults, or whatever the problems is (maybe they don't exist?).
Other people to write to - the Opposition Health spokesperson (they kick rear ends harder, they have a political interest in doing so), the media, local charities. But go carefully - begin with your MP. Write to the Opposition Health person only if he's the same party as your MP. Chances are, your MP will already have contacted him. If your MP is government and comes back as a dud even after contacting the health Minister, then later on (after your final letters from the MP) write to the Opposition Health person. Be prepared for THAT person to bring in the media - they grab any chance they can to embarrass the government.
In this, your political system will work similar to ours in Aus. We shouldn't have to do this, it's extreme Warrior Mum stuff.
Anyway, begin with the GP, sit down and spell it out. "I need you to help me build our own multidisciplinary team for difficult child. You as the GP are the main driving force and organiser of this. I am more than the client here, I also am a vital part of the team since I have to keep the appointments straight and administer medication, treatments etc. We need to work as a team. And we're already losing vital opportunities. What do we need to do, to make this happen?"
And see what the GP says to this.
Good luck!
Marg
I wish I could say the opposite. The Abilify and Seroquel were the best as far as Mood Stability for her. They helped with anger and aggression the best. 
