Yep, raising two. One easy 8 year-old girl (fully recognizing that it could change any minute) and one very difficult 10 year old (explanation in my signature). It's exhausting. I want to retire but can't because I can't afford to. Retired husband would like to not have kids all the time so we could maybe go on a vacation (it's been years). I'm finally on the verge of considering retirement next year but will have to cash out and move because the cost of living is so high here. We can buy a lovely home for cash elsewhere, but have to consider where the kids will have good schools, and good special education. I did not see this coming. My daughter will never be able to take these kids on. Her ex is remarried to a woman who came into the marriage with three kids of her own (all different fathers, never married any of them) and then had one more with the ex, who is now almost 3. She has no desire to have anything to do with my grandkids--her husband's children. And she flat out refuses to even been in the same room or care for my grandson in any way. They just moved two thousand miles away, has called twice since December, and only pays $500 per month for both kids, and has only been doing that for less than a year. And he's increasingly late with it.
There are good things, too, because we love them so much and want them to have some kind of a childhood. But I'm not going to lie: it's been hard for us. And my husband is so resentful of my daughter (his step-daughter since 1981 when she was 5 years old) because of the increasingly bad choices she's making with men, jobs, and on and on. I'm there, too. Fed up to the point where it's hard to even be polite to her sometimes.
Is it ever a lot of work, and speaking for myself, unlike when I were younger, I wasn't able to roll with the punches like I used to when I first got the GC. There was a huge conditioning curve I went through.
I impressed upon both of my daughters starting at a young age, behave yourselves and stay on the right side of the fence, but no matter how much you remind them, people live by the roll of their own hand, and just like dice, where they stop, nobody knows.
I wish we had been more financially able (as yourself) to weather the storm, but all-in-all things went well and as with my own children when they were younger, I ensured I was the doting mother to them, always fussing over this and that like any grandma does.
It's so disheartening to know how disposable everything has become Re: life nowadays, kids included. I sometimes get a sense that nothing means nothing in our world today, especially when it comes to today's growing generation. There seems to be little thought process as to getting married, having kids, then throwing the towel in when things don't go just right.
I am so grateful for those like ourselves who were able to step-in and carry the load. I feel proud right now being a part of this discussion.
Sending hugs to everyone here!