Oh, Suz! I saw this last night and thought I had posted a response.
It must have been lost in the ethernet somewhere!
It feels wonderful to have been missed!
Thanks, Suz!
To answer the question? We are south again, now. My father passed away in March while he and my mother were south for the winter, themselves. When my mother was ready to go home again, husband and I went north so I could spend a few weeks with her as she adjusted to living alone in the home she had shared with my father.
And now, we are back south, again.
difficult child?
Is skating that same old thin edge between living responsibly and self-sabotage. We talk on the phone alot. As I posted in my response to Stands, I still find it necessary to use so many of the responses I learned here on the site. When I do that, the underlying dynamic of the conversation changes. If difficult child is complaining or blaming (almost always an indication that he has been using again) I can say "Oh, that's too bad ~what are you going to do?" Or I can say that I know he will figure it out and that I wish him well with it.
Or, I can tell him that what it looks like to me is self-sabotage.
The drug piece is out in the open now, though difficult child still denies drugs play any part in what has happened to him.
So. Given the parameters of the situation, difficult child is doing well. husband and I are in a very good place, relative to difficult child. We understand that helping isn't helping, and we are able to speak our thoughts honestly to him without condemning him, either in our words or in our hearts.
For those who remember when I first came here, this is astounding progress for us.
How is everything going with Rob, Suz?
The last thing I remember you posting was a lunch you had with he and his girlfriend?
Barbara
P.S. It really does feel good to have been missed!