Good morning everyone!
I am hoping someone from this forum, with more experience or knowledge than I, may be able to help my wife and I. Just to give a little background on the situation. We have been together for about 6 years and she has two children (9 and 7) and we have a 1 year old together. Our daughter has been quite defiant and--I'm ashamed to say, extremely self-centered. While we have known for several years now that there was something wrong we always just attributed it to the fact that her biological father was abusive and has decided to not come around her even though he was granted 50/50 custody.
I am currently a student in a local university (even though I am 28) and recently used the library to use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association to try and find out what may be the cause. From what I have come to think, along with her mother, is that she is suffering from ODD (if not some other things that can be co-disorders). Trust me when I say that I have used the most objective ratings I could possibly muster when I was working through the common symptoms list. They are all there, from the frequent temper tantrums (that are continually getting worse) to the spiteful attitude. Since she is in school her vocabulary for swear words has dramatically increased and we are the target of those insults.
My wife and I strongly agree that much of this can be attributed to the difficult family life before as well as the way the child's grandmother treats her. The grandmother states she acts like this because she is not given enough attention, although no matter how much attention, praise, love, etc once we ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, things blow up. By accepting these temper tantrums early I feel we have only cemented this type of behavior within the child and I feel that no matter what we try and do now, it won't get better any time soon.
So, since I have taken the long winded approach to my question, here goes. With a grandmother who consistently over-steps her bounds and yields to the child's EVERY demand, who doesn't think there is a problem with our daughter, how do we or should we even, schedule a meeting with a pediatric psychiatrist as a whole family (to include the grandmother who whole-heartedly disagrees with our findings/opinions)? Are we over analyzing this and just frustrated with a spoiled child or does she actually suffer from ODD (or even something else)?
Please help.
Chris
I am hoping someone from this forum, with more experience or knowledge than I, may be able to help my wife and I. Just to give a little background on the situation. We have been together for about 6 years and she has two children (9 and 7) and we have a 1 year old together. Our daughter has been quite defiant and--I'm ashamed to say, extremely self-centered. While we have known for several years now that there was something wrong we always just attributed it to the fact that her biological father was abusive and has decided to not come around her even though he was granted 50/50 custody.
I am currently a student in a local university (even though I am 28) and recently used the library to use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders published by the American Psychiatric Association to try and find out what may be the cause. From what I have come to think, along with her mother, is that she is suffering from ODD (if not some other things that can be co-disorders). Trust me when I say that I have used the most objective ratings I could possibly muster when I was working through the common symptoms list. They are all there, from the frequent temper tantrums (that are continually getting worse) to the spiteful attitude. Since she is in school her vocabulary for swear words has dramatically increased and we are the target of those insults.
My wife and I strongly agree that much of this can be attributed to the difficult family life before as well as the way the child's grandmother treats her. The grandmother states she acts like this because she is not given enough attention, although no matter how much attention, praise, love, etc once we ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, things blow up. By accepting these temper tantrums early I feel we have only cemented this type of behavior within the child and I feel that no matter what we try and do now, it won't get better any time soon.
So, since I have taken the long winded approach to my question, here goes. With a grandmother who consistently over-steps her bounds and yields to the child's EVERY demand, who doesn't think there is a problem with our daughter, how do we or should we even, schedule a meeting with a pediatric psychiatrist as a whole family (to include the grandmother who whole-heartedly disagrees with our findings/opinions)? Are we over analyzing this and just frustrated with a spoiled child or does she actually suffer from ODD (or even something else)?
Please help.
Chris