So Disappointed!

[katya02]

Has your daughter been given a formal diagnosis of bipolar? It might be possible to get her MA (Medicaid) based on diagnosis. We did this with our easy child 1 and difficult child 1 years ago (based on diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder/early onset schizophrenia and on early onset bipolar) and it opened doors to services for them. We also did not qualify for most things due to finances but they got services because of the diagnosis-based MA. When they turned 18 they were dropped from the system (Grrrr) and now easy child 1 has to have private insurance and difficult child 1 has his own MA due to low income - but it helped at the time. We applied through the Intermediate Unit in our area that was affiliated with the schools - maybe you could inquire through your school district or look up county or state social services and call someone? The program wasn't described on any of our local service provider web pages, it was a sort of open secret among providers, so you may have to ask specifically for it. If you can get her MA based on diagnosis while she's still a minor then maybe some services will become available.

 

[DaisyFace]

OK! Here is my problem! EVERY time I call one of these State resources there is nothing we can do because we don't qualify (monetarily) HOWEVER, the cost of the programs we have checked into before are ASTRONOMICAL!! So, how do you guys get the services?

Denita--

Qualifying for services is no small feat! We had to go through a long application process, submit all kinds of records, get statements from docs, tdocs, and SW and then have an interview with the woman from the state agency.

The good news? We qualify.

The bad news? We are on a waiting list as long as your arm. It will not be our "turn" until the limited resources are no longer needed by one of the families ahead of us in line. As it stands now? We may never get to the top of the list before difficult child turns 18...

So there is no easy answer.

As klmno stated, sometimes the legal system is the only way to get servies ordered - but that's a gamble that does not always go the way one might hope.

 

[Suz]

Rob's diagnoses qualified him. MHMR, Medicaid had nothing to do with our income, only what was going on with him.

We also used the juvenile justice system and he had a terrific probation officer who really pulled for him to be accepted to a dual diagnoses (MH and JJD) Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Rob's school district paid for half, MH paid for half.

Suz

 

[susiestar]

Denita, getting through all of this takes an enormous amount of patience and dogged determination on your part.

As for locking your child out - you cannot lock her out of her home. You CAN change your locks. When she knocks/rings doorbell she must be let in. Inside areas do NOT have to be available for her use. She has to have access to the room she sleeps in and the bathroom and likely a living area and food area. It does NOT mean access to all the computers, tvs, game systems, etc... Those can be in locked rooms. If she takes appliances to pawn, make sure that 3 meals a day are available for her - school lunches count (put the $ directly onto an account for her, even if you must drive to school and walk in to do it).

She MUST have a second way to leave the house in case of emergencies. Usually a bedroom window counts as long as it will open. My dad is a GIANT fire phobic person. Anything left turned on was going to burn the house down when I was a teen. After gfgbro was brought home by the cops my dad nailed his windows shut anyway. He DARED my bro to report him - told him to be prepared to leave and live on his own because he would get to leave with the social worker!

If you keep calling the officers they WILL get annoyed and start doing something. It just takes a lifetime to get it done. I am SURE there are statutes in TX that say a child cannot run away, cannot take things that don't belong to them from their families, etc... If the officers will not do this, get your documentation (including any mental illness diagnosis's, prior offenses that the cops have told you are not a problem, etc... - this is where keeping a parent report up to date is really really helpful!), figure out what you want to tell the Chief of Police, take a good book or two, a thermos of coffee, or coke or whatever, a snack, etc... and then go to the Chief of Police's office. Ask his secretary if you can speak to him about a problem. You will get lots of underlings that they want to brush you off on, insist that you NEED the Chief. Let the secretary know, very politely, that you will wait as long as it takes to get just a few minutes with the Chief. Then sit down, chat pleasantly if she is inclined (starts it or whatever feels right in the situation), get your coffee/hmj ready, pull out your book and settle in for a wait.

Generally one of a few things will happen. First option: The Chief will decide to "teach you a lesson" and let you sit there until the end of the day to see if you will really do it. Second option: The Chief might see that you are really serious about NEEDING to speak with him and he will speak with you fairly soon. Third option: The Chief really IS in back to back meetings that overlap and he will do what he can to fit you in as soon as he gets a chance where he doesn't have to run to the restroom ASAP.

The Chief will see that you are serious. Let him know the problems, what the officers have told you (badge numbers/names are helpful if you have them, if not do not worry about it), and what you need/want to have happen. make sure you have any info on the stolen items so that the Chief can get people to check it right away.

It may be the only way to get to the police and to get the officers to pay a lot more attention to teen offenders, at least in your area!

Whatever happens, I am sure you will figure out a way to feel safer in your home, and to learn to cope with this in the healthiest way possible.

 

[toughlovin]

Susie has a good idea about talking to the Chief of Police. However before you do that I would first try making an appointment with the youth officer or the domestic violence officer. The reason being, if they exist, they are going to be a lot more familiar with your options and be more able to give you concrete advice. They are probably the people the Chief would send you to anyway. Who knows what the politics of the PD are... and some would be less sympathetic to someone who went over their heads first.

However if they don't have either a youth officer or a DV officer who specializes in these issues then go to the Chief.

 

[DenitaS]

You guys are GREAT!!! I will start looking into that!! Good leads!! I appreciate it!!

 

[rejectedmom]

When my difficult child was acting out at age 15 a school phycologist told me to file a "Juvenile in need of supervision" request with the courts. Once granted the difficult child has a probation officer and other resorce people to help keep then under control. Maybe TX has something like that. Try looking into that. In the meantime keep your valuables locked up, make sure all papers with credit cars numbers or SS# or Bank accout statements are filed safely away and hide your car keys. I'm sorry you have to live like this but you are not alone many of us have had similar problems. It stinks but it is. -RM

 

[witzend]

I would definitely put a lock on the bedroom door, and include one of those $12 magnetic contact alarms on it and the bedroom windows. They're loud as all get-out and your difficult child would be deterred - at least initially - from alerting the neighbors to her activities.

FWIW, I would tend to agree that the police are only right about what you can and can not do about difficult child-2 in so far as criminal court goes. What we did with M when he was so out of control was seek the advice of a Juvenile Justice attorney as to how to protect our lives and our belongings. He had broken the law and there was a hearing. We needed to know what we could do to force the issue. The judge was more than happy for us to put him in an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) which the insurance paid - temporarily - for. After that, he was on probation and it was the judge who set the rules. It wasn't just our boundaries and it was clear to him that if he came to our home and misbehaved, he'd end up in the system. That wasn't a chance he was willing to take.

I'm not saying it was a wonderful solution to M's problems, but it did allow us to protect everything that we had worked so hard for. It put the brakes on him riding rough-shod over our lives.