Ca Mom Losing Hope
Member
I haven't been here for quite a while. My son has been away living in a trailer on his grandmother's property with his dad, and not talking to me. He always chooses one or the other of us to be mad at. August of last year, his dad asked me to help him and get him a flight back to California, from Indiana where he was living with his brother. That ended when he violently attacked his brother while sleeping cause he was mad about an earlier argument days ago. His dad would let him live out there with him in their trailer. Well as always happens, my son began to treat everyone horribly. He quit helping his dad or grandma with any chores and was being just generally rude and disrespectful in his actions and words. Calling everyone names and yelling words I can't write here. My ex husband's mother is battling cancer. As you can imagine, this has taken a toll on everyone there. However our son had only becomes more combative as she gets sicker. He is 23 years old and has never taken any responsibility to take care of himself. Always jumping from one house to the other, my mom, his dad's mom, my house, his brothers, his aunt's, etc. Currently it is, his dad's trailer on his cancer ridden grandma's property. Grandpa died in November of last year. Since all of this is about three hours north from my house, it has been peaceful here.
About four weeks ago, his dad called me and told me our on threatened to kill himself. Said he had one of his (dad's) guns in the trailer and said nobody loves him and that he wanted to die. His dad tried to talk him down, called the cops, and they got him to come out and they took him to the hospital. Released within a day and back out at the farm, his dad's. They didn't want him there so things escalated. He if course didn't make it any better or try to make anything work. Sometime these last five or so weeks, grandma and his uncle got a restraining order against him, he says for no reason and that they will give little old ladies restraining orders for anything.
So things kept escalating. Keep in mind, they live at least five miles from town, and our son doesn't have a vehicle. And since he couldn't come close to the main house, he would sit outside his trailer and yell for his dad, and both in a friendly way. Apparently yelling for the "fat f***" to come out and help.
So earlier this week, while my ex was with his mom in the hospital for pneumonia, or soon called an ambulance and admitted himself for mental issues. We have been trying to get him to get help for quite a while. They diagnosed him bipolar. Prescribed him lithium and lorizapan and released him. When he called his dad, his dad said he wasn't going to come get him, he wanted him out. So he called me for the first time since August of last year, to help him. I told him what I could was call his aunt to give hunk a ride to his trailer, he had residency, or let him know where there is a shelter. Of course that is not what HE wanted, HE wanted meet to pay for a hotel. Prior to finding this board years ago, I didmeail him out in this way, and praying for small houses in Indiana, or paying rent to my mom for him, etc. I am the bank of mom, but I haber been really strong since August of last year, hence why he doesn't talk to me, or didn't until his dad got fed up.
So he didn't want the help I offered and said he was going to jump in front of a vehicle on the freeway and kill himself. This too is a recurring event. I learned the previous times that when we got here, call the cops and let it go. I am not equipped to resolve these situations. I reported it to his local police dispatcher around 9pm and they called me at 330am telling me they found him and he was in the ER. Of course the ER told me nothing other than he didn't have anything life threatening and there was no accident. Thank goodness but what is next. The next day I get a call while at work from a psychiatric facility asking why I called the hospital and what is his brother's number. I answered both and he hung up.
He got out of there within three days and went back out to his trailer. His dad had broke the lock cleaned out the trailer of most of his stuff and he was pissed. He called me and wanted me to call a cab cause his aunt, my sister, was going to let him store the remainder of his stuff at her house. I have a no giving money rule, but I said if she paid for the cab, I would pay her back. Not what HE wanted. HE wanted meet to pay the cabbie, as I have before. I had meetings all day, was on my way to work, no way I could step out on a whim and pay there cabbie via there phone. It escaled as it always does. He cried and said everyone is so mean to him, nobody will help him, I am all he has to help him. I told him again what I could do but that wasn't what he wanted. I had to get to work. That was yesterday. Around 5pm I am driving home, after picking my six month old son up from day care, and he calls again, from jail. He was arrested for breaking the restraining order. I don't know Ali there details, but his older brother said their dad told him that he stood outside of the trailer yelled and yelled for a ride to his aunt's, one of his uncle's came out, it escalated, and they called there cops. Apparently this was a violation. He called me over and over again from the jail, on my cell, while I was driving home. I had no way to accept it. You have to set up an account and I was driving. He continued to call when I got home. I tried to set up the account, had lots of troubles. I finally got it to work, but after around thirty calls, he quit calling.
II feel horrible. The one call that wasn't collect her did leave me a message. Said he would be in until Tuesday and please help him. Call his dad. Help. I don't think he was asking for help to get out, more help what does he do when he does get out. He has burnt every bridge. He can't come home as he has been very violent to me, not physically but closer you that a few times.
I want to help, but what can I do?
About four weeks ago, his dad called me and told me our on threatened to kill himself. Said he had one of his (dad's) guns in the trailer and said nobody loves him and that he wanted to die. His dad tried to talk him down, called the cops, and they got him to come out and they took him to the hospital. Released within a day and back out at the farm, his dad's. They didn't want him there so things escalated. He if course didn't make it any better or try to make anything work. Sometime these last five or so weeks, grandma and his uncle got a restraining order against him, he says for no reason and that they will give little old ladies restraining orders for anything.
So things kept escalating. Keep in mind, they live at least five miles from town, and our son doesn't have a vehicle. And since he couldn't come close to the main house, he would sit outside his trailer and yell for his dad, and both in a friendly way. Apparently yelling for the "fat f***" to come out and help.
So earlier this week, while my ex was with his mom in the hospital for pneumonia, or soon called an ambulance and admitted himself for mental issues. We have been trying to get him to get help for quite a while. They diagnosed him bipolar. Prescribed him lithium and lorizapan and released him. When he called his dad, his dad said he wasn't going to come get him, he wanted him out. So he called me for the first time since August of last year, to help him. I told him what I could was call his aunt to give hunk a ride to his trailer, he had residency, or let him know where there is a shelter. Of course that is not what HE wanted, HE wanted meet to pay for a hotel. Prior to finding this board years ago, I didmeail him out in this way, and praying for small houses in Indiana, or paying rent to my mom for him, etc. I am the bank of mom, but I haber been really strong since August of last year, hence why he doesn't talk to me, or didn't until his dad got fed up.
So he didn't want the help I offered and said he was going to jump in front of a vehicle on the freeway and kill himself. This too is a recurring event. I learned the previous times that when we got here, call the cops and let it go. I am not equipped to resolve these situations. I reported it to his local police dispatcher around 9pm and they called me at 330am telling me they found him and he was in the ER. Of course the ER told me nothing other than he didn't have anything life threatening and there was no accident. Thank goodness but what is next. The next day I get a call while at work from a psychiatric facility asking why I called the hospital and what is his brother's number. I answered both and he hung up.
He got out of there within three days and went back out to his trailer. His dad had broke the lock cleaned out the trailer of most of his stuff and he was pissed. He called me and wanted me to call a cab cause his aunt, my sister, was going to let him store the remainder of his stuff at her house. I have a no giving money rule, but I said if she paid for the cab, I would pay her back. Not what HE wanted. HE wanted meet to pay the cabbie, as I have before. I had meetings all day, was on my way to work, no way I could step out on a whim and pay there cabbie via there phone. It escaled as it always does. He cried and said everyone is so mean to him, nobody will help him, I am all he has to help him. I told him again what I could do but that wasn't what he wanted. I had to get to work. That was yesterday. Around 5pm I am driving home, after picking my six month old son up from day care, and he calls again, from jail. He was arrested for breaking the restraining order. I don't know Ali there details, but his older brother said their dad told him that he stood outside of the trailer yelled and yelled for a ride to his aunt's, one of his uncle's came out, it escalated, and they called there cops. Apparently this was a violation. He called me over and over again from the jail, on my cell, while I was driving home. I had no way to accept it. You have to set up an account and I was driving. He continued to call when I got home. I tried to set up the account, had lots of troubles. I finally got it to work, but after around thirty calls, he quit calling.
II feel horrible. The one call that wasn't collect her did leave me a message. Said he would be in until Tuesday and please help him. Call his dad. Help. I don't think he was asking for help to get out, more help what does he do when he does get out. He has burnt every bridge. He can't come home as he has been very violent to me, not physically but closer you that a few times.
I want to help, but what can I do?
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