Son in hospital

[Helpless29]

Those who followed many of my post know of my 16 year old sons behavioral problems, substance abuse with pills & weed ,and in & out of Juvenile Detention. He’s been in there for about month now, he’s not doing good like the last time. Saturday he was transferred to the hospital, for cutting himself & fought with guards when they try to get him out of cell. Now he is in a mental/ behavioral facility, one he has been in before. He tells me he wasn’t haven’t sucidal thoughts that he knew if he harmed himself he would get out. The facility will keep him for evaluation for 2 weeks & he will go back to Juvenile Detention, found out he joined a gang in Juvenile Detention & now that explains all the fights he’s been in having in there& why he’s doing so bad. I’m heartbroken, I’m scared for him in there & more scared what could happen to him when he gets out. His next court date is next month . I just wish I could have a day alone to cry

 

[Albatross]

I'm so sorry, Helpless. How terrifying. I hope the next 2 weeks give him a chance to see another option other than the bad choices he has been making so far.

Take that day to cry, and then take another day to lift yourself up. Whatever they are, the other things will wait.

 

[WiseChoices]

I am so sorry. This must be so hard for you. I will keep your son in my prayers.

 

[BusynMember1]

Cry. Cry all day. That you can do. You have the power over yourself.

Hugs.

 

[pasajes4]

I went through this with my son. I hope your son turns this around and soon.

 

[RN0441]

I went through this as well.

My son did not care what happened to him and he even said that.

When they think like that, we are helpless. Mommy could not fix this.

I actually got on Lexipro to help me take the edge off while I was going through this. It is very very mild but just helps a tiny bit to make every single thing that he did NOT be the end of the world to me. I took it for a year. I also went to therapy because I needed to talk about it and my husband was sick to death of talking about it.

You have to look to yourself and how you are going to cope with what your son is doing. Mine was hell bent on destroying himself as I saw it.

This could take years for him to go through. It did for us as you can see a small glimpse of in my signature. I cannot stress enough that taking care of you is most important. He will do what he will do.

Our son would not listen and we had both always been very close to him and he grew up in a loving home and close family.

It was like he was possessed and looking back I think maybe he was.

 

[ChickPea]

Went through a similar situation too, including gangs, with daughter. Not a fun road. Hugs.

 

[Copabanana]

Helpless. I am so sorry for this turn of events. I don't know what to think. Your son deliberately acted badly with his grandparents. There was no stopping him.

Now that he's back in custody, he may feel backed in a corner. He may be identifying with the gang for self-protective reasons. There is a lot of pressure in custody to affiliate along racial and ethnic lines. It's very hard to NOT do so. Especially for a kid. That he is doing so does not necessarily mean he will continue to do so. But you're right. He is creating problems with himself. The cutting may be part of the same thing, a way to maneuver to get himself out of a tight spot.

I guess what I am thinking is that the acting out at the grandparents, and the acting out in custody may be two different kinds of choices.

The kernel of positivity here is that it sounds like he is being open with you.

What can you do? He's in a situation where things are pretty determined for him. And he lacks the judgement and maturity to navigate in this circumstance. I just want to say that it might not be as bad as it seems. He may be doing the best he can do.