Posting in this forum because my daughter is almost 6, and heading into a more "mature" level of childhood (ha. ideally).
Okay - so she made the elite gymnastics team when she just turned 5 - she's amazing, maybe the best and youngest on the team. Ex let her skip when she "had a belly ache", so that caused months of screaming and drama when she realized she had control over the situation (5 hours of expensive instruction a week - we can't skip class because of a sudden "belly ache"). Enter therapy, anxiety control, consequences and encouragement on my part, and everything is good again. No belly aches. She loves gymnastics. Then things fall apart, possibly because ex decides his girlfriend will be present during the rare times he sees the kids, and my daughter is having meltdowns and anxiety about it all. So he takes her to gymnastics on occasion, she melts down over and over again, he refuses to encourage her or do anti-anxiety techniques - so I removed her... (he said "this isn't the Olympics", to give an example of his attitude). This was 2 weeks ago.
I signed her up for soccer this week. She was amazing at practice, and thrilled about it. So ex gets excited, shows up for the game - she's intimidated by all the well-trained big kids on the other team (seemingly awfully old for a preK/K league...), doesn't know to play under such pressure, and gets hit in the stomach by a ball (not badly - I was watching closely). Runs to her dad sobbing. The coach begs her to come back out after a break. Ex gets in a fight with me that she's hurt badly and needs to stay with him on his lap. I bring her to the coach, and my daughter wants me to go on the field with her. I say no. She runs back to her dad. I say if she won't play, I'm bringing her home. He says no. I finally left because I didn't want to escalate the situation.
This is a kid who bounces and races around the house 24/7 if she's not medicated day and night. She HAS to have an outlet. She's extremely talented athletically, and coaches have been eying her for YEARS (not exaggerating). I can't believe she gave up the gymnastics that she loved just to make a point, and I can't believe she tried it all again during her first soccer game. WTH? What am I supposed to do? Give up entirely and try to take care of myself first (heck, I can go to the gym myself), and let her run wild with babysitters? I did ask my ex to not to come to any more soccer games because she will run to him for attention, but now I don't want to take her any more either. She's still in therapy, and the therapist was disappointed that she quit gymnastics (will talk to her more about that). Help. Any advice is useful. SO much more to this story - I swear I'm not a hard-driving sports parent. I just want my kid to use her talents and energy, and I want the ODD to get out of the way.
Okay - so she made the elite gymnastics team when she just turned 5 - she's amazing, maybe the best and youngest on the team. Ex let her skip when she "had a belly ache", so that caused months of screaming and drama when she realized she had control over the situation (5 hours of expensive instruction a week - we can't skip class because of a sudden "belly ache"). Enter therapy, anxiety control, consequences and encouragement on my part, and everything is good again. No belly aches. She loves gymnastics. Then things fall apart, possibly because ex decides his girlfriend will be present during the rare times he sees the kids, and my daughter is having meltdowns and anxiety about it all. So he takes her to gymnastics on occasion, she melts down over and over again, he refuses to encourage her or do anti-anxiety techniques - so I removed her... (he said "this isn't the Olympics", to give an example of his attitude). This was 2 weeks ago.
I signed her up for soccer this week. She was amazing at practice, and thrilled about it. So ex gets excited, shows up for the game - she's intimidated by all the well-trained big kids on the other team (seemingly awfully old for a preK/K league...), doesn't know to play under such pressure, and gets hit in the stomach by a ball (not badly - I was watching closely). Runs to her dad sobbing. The coach begs her to come back out after a break. Ex gets in a fight with me that she's hurt badly and needs to stay with him on his lap. I bring her to the coach, and my daughter wants me to go on the field with her. I say no. She runs back to her dad. I say if she won't play, I'm bringing her home. He says no. I finally left because I didn't want to escalate the situation.
This is a kid who bounces and races around the house 24/7 if she's not medicated day and night. She HAS to have an outlet. She's extremely talented athletically, and coaches have been eying her for YEARS (not exaggerating). I can't believe she gave up the gymnastics that she loved just to make a point, and I can't believe she tried it all again during her first soccer game. WTH? What am I supposed to do? Give up entirely and try to take care of myself first (heck, I can go to the gym myself), and let her run wild with babysitters? I did ask my ex to not to come to any more soccer games because she will run to him for attention, but now I don't want to take her any more either. She's still in therapy, and the therapist was disappointed that she quit gymnastics (will talk to her more about that). Help. Any advice is useful. SO much more to this story - I swear I'm not a hard-driving sports parent. I just want my kid to use her talents and energy, and I want the ODD to get out of the way.