Stop enabling your overly dependent adult child

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Tanya M, Sep 27, 2018.

  1. Tanya M

    Tanya M Living with an attitude of gratitude Staff Member

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...op-enabling-your-overly-dependent-adult-child

    Very good article. Much of what is written, most of us already know. Sometimes it's just nice to read it from the perspective of a psychologist.

    One point that really stood out to me was this:
    While it may feel good for parents to do this, the implicit (or even explicit) message to the child is, “You’re not competent to make it on your own.”


     
  2. newstart

    newstart Active Member

    Great article. In a few days my daughter turns 36 1/2. Her years are full of bad decisions. How can someone be so highly intelligent and so naive all at the same time? How or why would someone keep making bad choices and not learn from them? How can someone be going on 37 and still do the things she does?
    On a better note, I am stepping way back, no trying to smooth things over. This coming month, her bills to us need to be paid in FULL or we are taking action. Today she called and told me she is going to pay her car off this month, I have heard this for 3 years now. Thankfully her car is almost paid off and I will be taking my name off of it. The list of stuff with my name on it is getting smaller and smaller.. I hope your son straightens out soon Tanya.
     
  3. RN0441

    RN0441 100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

    My coworker, a woman who is my age but the CFO here, relocated here for her job (like me) and her 30 year old daughter followed. They made her get her own place but she still depends on them too much. Her other four kids are not like that; all self sufficient.

    I forwarded her the article too.