Thanksgiving will be here soon.

newstart

Well-Known Member
Things are still odd here. A bit better, more peaceful on somedays but odd and weird. It gives my daughter peace if she pretends like she is not with her boyfriend. She knows I think the both of them together is about as toxic as a relationship can get so I do not mention the boyfriends name and she pretends that they are not together yet I know they are. My daughter has been paying her bills, and lately selling her art work. She is a very talented artist..
It is hard to tolerate her as is. It is hard to work around the lies and secret behavior, the stages of devaluing and discarding are extremely painful for me and anyone on the receiving end. On top of all the other stuff I am certain she has Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) intermittent explosive disorder. When she first developed her disorders I thought it was cyclothymic but it is far more severe than that. My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD and bipolar. No Dr. has diagnosed her with borderline and that is what I think she may have.
My daughter came over last Sunday. We hugged and went to the gym together. She was manic and talked non stop. I was ok with it because she was working hard at trying to be nice. Rapid talk and then politics. I reminded her that it was Sunday, God's day and I would appreciate the political talk to stop. She did but just for a little while and then on to politics again. She is still the expert, the one that knows all about what is going on, the one that is front line, and the one that knows all the truth of what is going on, the rest of everyone are idiots. We shopped for food, she was ok at the grocery store, we went to my house and made a nice meal.
As she left to go back to her house she grabbed her bags of groceries and then a few of my groceries, a bag of my meat. This is not the first time she had taken off with my groceries. I have asked her to look at what she is grabbing and not take my stuff. I guess being lied to and ripped off goes with allowing her into my house. I called her right away and she said she would bring them back, I have yet to see them and I will hold her accountable, $35 worth of meat is what she took.
It could be a careless mistake, one she has made several times, or just not thinking or just wanting to feed her worthless boyfriends some good meat.
I told her that to she may have to work several jobs to support the blood sucker that she calls a boyfriend, and that is what she is doing now. My daughter and I usually take a cruise for Thanksgiving each year but with Covid that is not going to happen. I have plans to stay home and cook a turkey, make homemade relish, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green beans and if I get brave I may try to make a cheese cake. My family says that I make the best apple pie in the world. My secret is that I stick on pear in it. I then make turkey soup, freeze a lot of it and eat it on cold nights. With all that planned I can't have my groceries ripped off. Happy Thanksgiving.
 

RN0441

100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
It seems like more of the same. I'd limit her behavior taking over MY thoughts if it were me. I'd have to do that.

Thankfully she does not live with you and you can limit your exposure to her. I'd have to do that too.

One day at a time and pray and focus on YOUR blessings.

That's what I would do if I were you.

Hugs.
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
Hi RN, When I did not talk to my daughter for 2 months the focus was on my husband and me. It was nice not to hear the constant complaining. Since I took a 2 month break from her she is trying harder even when her mania kicks in, she knows that I have the strength to blow her off again. I think deep down she loves me as much as she possibly can, she thinks my intuition is spot on and likes to bounce things around with me and even though she acts like I am crap I know it matters to her what I think. While she is manic, scratch everything I just wrote and she goes into psychopathic behavior.
Daughter said she would bring the meat back and she took them by accident. I think she was telling the truth.
My daughter stopped over to my home after work today. She has lost a few pounds and wanted me to see. She looks better, still the non stop chatter. I looked beyond the chatter and just listened to tone.
She is living in her home part time. This arrangement is working for her since she cannot sleep well with her boyfriend at his mother's house. She needs her home to refresh and do her art. The boyfriend is restless at night which keeps her up and then they both go into mania. At least she has enough sense to know she needs her home as her private nourishing station.
I have been doing more and more things for just my husband and myself.
We ride our bikes, go to the gym, shop, and reorganize everything in the house. Not much more we can do with Covid.
Hope the three of you have a very blessed and wonderful Thanksgiving.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
I agree more of the same. I think she did take the meat on purpose or she would have brought it back. Kay did stuff like that and say it was an accident. I had to go to her house and retrieve my clothes or jewelry.

I think it's good you and your husband are having fun together. I think you should forget about your daughter's boyfriend. That is not your business. Like Kay's husband is not my favorite person. But I can't stop them from self destructing.

I send you prayers. I know it is very hard.

Happy Thanksgiving.
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
Hi Busynmember, Happy Thanksgiving to you. I do not ask any questions about the boyfriend anymore, nothing, I act like he is not part of anything. My daughter will slip and mention him from time to time but I say nothing. She is bringing the meat back on Sunday or else I will be adding the cost to her rent, she knows she can't get away with it. I can tell she is trying a bit harder but that only lasts until the next cycle of mania.
I hope your little grandson is doing well and adjusting.:thanksgiving13:
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Hi and thank you so much.

Jaden is very delayed with behavioral problems. He has tantrums. The honeymoon is over. Amy still wants to adopt him but doesn't want to call Kay and rock the boat yet. The longer she has him, the better it looks in court, I guess.

Jaden is also loving and sweet and loves to help his auntie take care of the dog and cat. He gives hugs and kisses and loves Amy's boyfriend. Sometimes he asks where mommy and daddy are. It's sad.

Blessings.
 

Nandina

Member
Busy, thank you for the update on Jaden. Obviously he has some issues to overcome, but with Amy’s loving guidance, he can’t help but improve! He sounds like a sweet little guy and he is so fortunate to have all of you in his life. God bless you. Please continue to keep us updated.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
in
Busy, thank you for the update on Jaden. Obviously he has some issues to overcome, but with Amy’s loving guidance, he can’t help but improve! He sounds like a sweet little guy and he is so fortunate to have all of you in his life. God bless you. Please continue to keep us updated.

Thank for for caring!!!

We have seen leaps in his abilities with services. He can speak now, albeit needing help with articulation. He may have autism or alcohol affects. Amy is devoted to him and her other kids adore him. He seems happier now but is moody and as I said prone to meltdowns when he can't get what he wants, is tired or has to transition from one activity to another. But we will keep on pushing him to his highest potential.

Jaden does get mad at Mom and Dad but more often he is smiling over tantruming. We anticipate he will get more help once COVID is arrested and he can safely go to school.

Kay is a beautiful woman, or was before crazy, too abundant tattooes and facial piercings. Jaden is very much like Kay in looks...tall and slender with very thick black hair, big brown eyes and dimples. He charms adults. Being very handsome has its benefits. None of the rest of us are as striking as Kay and Jaden.

I promise to update. You all update too.

Love you all.
 
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