To be in Partner's shadow

[InsaneCdn]

There are some kids with too many different puzzles going on at the same time... our difficult child is one of them. What this means is that any one symptom "could" be part of diagnosis A or diagnosis B, but you really don't know... and in the long run, he may be an "all of the above".

For example... Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is one of the frequently-flagged dxes when social problems come into play. But... Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) kids, especially if they also have the immaturity that goes with things like ADHD, can show a lot of the same signs. Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) can really mess with communication... which really messes with socialization.

Assuming the same alphabet soup for two theoretical kids here... social problems, communication problems, coordination challenges, some sensory processing disorder (SPD), and symptoms of ADHD, Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) and Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)... One kid (A) will be Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) with particular problem areas, and another kid (B) will NOT be on the spectrum, but will have more serious challenges in each of these other areas. I've known B kids who were diagnosed as A and it didn't fit... and A kids who were diagnosed as B, and it didn't fit either.

And there is no way to know which one YOUR kid is until you get to the end of the journey...

It really IS tough to have to "hang on for the ride" and not know where you're going.

 

[Ktllc]

And there is no way to know which one YOUR kid is until you get to the end of the journey...

What/when is the end of the journey.
Except for the definit sensory processing disorder (SPD), all we have right now is a bunch of red flags and too young to real diagnosis. His pediatrician told me yesterday that we should get some help when K starts, to just hang on until then. She assured me that it was not unsual for kids like V to appear just fine on initial testings but things will reveal themself once he is in school fulltime.
As far as being Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or not... it is still undetermined and I suppose we could argue both sides for hours and still be nowhere. That is the one down fall of the internet, no real life interactions. One of the specialist who will be testing him, during the initial interview, said that he had lots of strenght (being able to point, follow people's gestures, uses gestures himself, understood her joke) so at this point it was not possible to rule in or out. The reasons she put V on the waiting list: the list of his challenges fit perfectly in the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) categories.
But just now, V came to me and asked me what he could do to help Partner feel better and stop crying (I just scolded Partner for breaking the towel bar). I told him to give him a hug and say that all will be fine fine. V did it! So even though he was not sure what to do, he knew he had to do something and that is one of his strenght.

 

[BusynMember]

TaeDo, you and I are on the same page. I have a kid with processing problems and it was not as severe as V. I never heard of Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), but the little I know seems to have something to do with coordination. I don't know that it is widely diagnosed in the US. To me he sounds very spectrumish. But there are some things about him that seem "more."

I never think a physical examination is a bad idea for any of our kids. Heck, Sonic must have seen every type of medical doctor under the sun, including a geneticist, to rule EVERYTHING out. We didn't want to leave any stone unturned.

If I recall, V started out right developmentally then had a relapse in his development, which happens in 20% of the kids who have autism (regressive autism). Here is a link that explains the symptoms and some theories on how kids can get it (I don't agree with the theories, but I do think the description of regressive autism is good). This does NOT mean V. has autism...just that he may have it:

http://autism.lovetoknow.com/Regressive_Autism

 

[TerryJ2]

I agree that it sounds like V needs more coaching.
My brain isn't working well lately so mostly I'm just sending support.

 

[InsaneCdn]

MWM - Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) = the neuro-motor challenges that often go with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)... without the "Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)"... (= my difficult child)
And yes, it is becoming more known and more often diagnosed... although the Commonwealth seems to be ahead of the curve on this one.

 

[BusynMember]

Yeah, never heard of it and I'm usually up on that stuff. I don't think it's big here. If it goes along with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), maybe they lump the symptoms in with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD). Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) has a host full of stuff that goes with it...lol.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Favorite therapist painted this picture:

Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is just a line in the sand. Someone defined a "line"... you must have x many of this list of symptoms, of certain severity, etc. A person can be "almost" Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), or "just barely" Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), just as certainly as "no where near" and "extremely"...

But Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is just one of a whole list of developmental disabilities that go together. And very few people with any of these, have only one. If you have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), you have multiple, but not necessarily all and not with an "even" severity... Those who are not Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)... are likewise going to have multiple, and not necessarily with an "even" severity.

These include: (not comprehensive, just the ones at the top of my head)
- ADHD
- Sensory Integration Disorder (SID)
- Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD)
- Auditory Processing Disorders (APD)
- executive function disorder
- learning disabilities
- immaturity
- uneven development
- add in pretty much anything else that goes with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), except for "the full spectrum of social integration issues" - you can have "some" issues, and not be Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)... but this seems to be the single biggest factor in tipping the scales on Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) or not.

Until the medical community started labeling these other separate disorders, a child who did not qualify for the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) diagnosis got... nothing. Now, at least, there is a fighting chance. Some of the dxes are gaining traction faster than others. Here, for example, the accommodations for Auditory Processing Disorders (APD) are well-supported by the school system (it's just hard to get the diagnosis)... but the interventions for Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) are hard to get.

 

[soapbox]

It is not "unknown" in the States... and it's really not widely known most places. But the is more and more information getting to the front lines.

Here's a good US link:
http://www.brightfutures.org/physicalactivity/issues_concerns/10.html

An interesting Canadian article (the problem of Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) not being recognized isn't unique to the States):
https://web.archive.org/web/2011080...overlook-developmental-coordination-disorder/

 

[BusynMember]

LOL...IC. You are so right!

Thanks for the links, soapbox

 

[Ktllc]

Is Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) the same as dyspraxia? Because V has dyspraxia. He does not appear clumsy because he restricts himself to movements that he already masters. But his weakest part is coming up with an idea within motor-planning. Which means in real life, he can copy but cannot come up with a novel idea to build a fort, a block/sand castle, make an obstacle course or draw on his own. His Occupational Therapist (OT) is working on it with him.
I'm guessing the best way to over come it is to expose him to as much movements and scenarios as possible. V has proven over and over to be able to learn quite well in this area as long as we let him take his time.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Yes, in some parts Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) is known as dyspraxia or developmental dyspraxia.
Problems can be with planning, execution, or both, when it comes to motor skills. Nothing wrong with the muscles and nerves... it is a neuro-motor thing. If the person has Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), then it isn't really given as a separate diagnosis... but the interventions are identical.

The only things that help are... Occupational Therapist (OT), and accommodations.

 

[keista]

The only things that help are... Occupational Therapist (OT), and accommodations.

AND TIME

My son started out very similarly. Until I got him into pre-k, he REFUSED to color or draw even though I repeatedly showed him that scribbles were OK. Once in pre-k, with great difficulty, they finally got him drawing and writing. Over time he actually became quite the artist. By 4th grade he was creating drawings that were well advanced of his peers both in skill and creativity.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Yes. Given enough time, effort, and interest, it is amazing what they can accomplish... but it takes enough time and effort, that kids with these kinds of motor skills problems will master a smaller set of physical-based activities.

I still haven't mastered writing. Can barely ride a bike. Can NOT walk across the parking lot without tripping on my own two feet. But... I type at about 55 wpm (out of practice these days), play piano, do handicrafts (knitting, etc.)...

 

[BusynMember]

Oh, heck, yes, time is your friend. If he is at all spectrumish, these kids, even the lowest functioning tend to improve A LOT with interventions. My son is getting adult services now, but, really, he is so much more functional than we ever dreamed and will be able to live alone with assitance, find some work, and have a full life (HIS definition of one...often their ideas of a full life do not match ours).

I have found that kid with these similar challenges have wonderful hearts. I don't know where they came up with spectrumish kids not being affectionate. My son doesn't really like to be touched that much, but he has a heart of gold. When he heard that my oldest son is going through a divorce and lonely, he piped up, "Mom, that makes me really sad. Maybe I should go down there and live with him so he has company." This is very typical of Sonic...he hurts when others hurt. I find this true of a lot of his acquaintances who have "differences" much like he does.

I think V will grow up to have a great life...you are on the ball with him and his services and, like most of these kids who are similar, his heart is really in the right place. Many of our kids outgrow their behavioral challenges. Be positive. You have a great kid with a lot of potential locked inside, regardless of his actual diagnosis

Huggles

Pam