DDD
Well-Known Member
Thanks for the always dependable support. I needed it and the strength that came with it.
GFGmom has convinced difficult child (a senior and soon to turn 18) to stay at her
house and "they" will overcome the deficit that has resulted from him staying with her for the past two months. I am angry. I am very sad and very worried. husband drove to GFGmom's house and took difficult child for a ride. "Mom and I are doing fine and I do NOT want to come back to your house." "I don't feel loved there."
I had exchanged emails with GFGmom explaining that staying at our house on school nights would be in his best interest. She disagrees. The school
ESE teacher (he only has one ESE class now....was all ESE when he came to live with us 8 years ago!) says he smells of cat urine, he is drawing on his body like he used to a few years ago, he is making animal noises, he is
disrespectful. All that in addition to have two F's and 1 D in his classes.
He has had a B average for two years. The head counselor said "thank God you are taking him back" when I spoke to them Friday...even the school psychologist is rather gravely concerned.
GFGmom is GFGmom. She wants "to prove she can be a good Mother".
WTH.....or the stronger abbreviation! I told her "NOW is not the time to prove yourself. He will graduate in May with a good GPA and be ready for
the next step in maturing staying at our 'boring' house. You can prove yourself to be a good Mom with your little girl, with difficult child on the weekends
and after he graduates if he chooses to live with you...you can prove it for the rest of your life."
She replied "He is MY son. He is HAPPY here. He is not coming back to your house."
Following husband's visit with difficult child, we decided to give it up. difficult child turns 18 in October and I "know" GFGmom will get him to take control her way. I can
use my Durable Power of Attorney to fight it in court. I could easily call HRS. I could have her arrested for taking money. The bottom line is that
she has him and I don't.
Are you ready for a shock? Yes, those of you who have known me for
eight years plus. I wrote her an email and I said with total sincerity. "I
have spent 44 years giving everything I had to foster your growth. I have
worked with you for 21 years trying to supplement your parenting. I have
taken difficult child who was almost completely disfunctional and nurtured him into
a fairly successful young man. You have no regard for anyone but you. I
no longer want you to telephone my house or my store. I no longer will read any emails from you. I want to be removed as your emergency contact. I am through."
Yep.........I did it. GFGmom is out of my life. difficult child knows how to find me if he wants to. I am off the rollercoaster that started in l964 with a baby who was different. I divorced my husband because he wanted to beat sense into her or put her away. I sold my house to get money for her to go to a special school. I left my hometown because she was hanging out with troubled people and moved to a city I have disliked for thirty years. We used what little retirement we had to buy her a house (joint with us) so her two sons would be in a safe secure environment. Etc. ETc. Etc.
I am angry BUT there is a huge relief in knowing I don't have to see her again. Phew/Whew. DDD
PS: Re easy child/difficult child and driving. He is 21 and deemed capable of driving. I
can only try to control vehicle use....but I understand Stella.
GFGmom has convinced difficult child (a senior and soon to turn 18) to stay at her
house and "they" will overcome the deficit that has resulted from him staying with her for the past two months. I am angry. I am very sad and very worried. husband drove to GFGmom's house and took difficult child for a ride. "Mom and I are doing fine and I do NOT want to come back to your house." "I don't feel loved there."
I had exchanged emails with GFGmom explaining that staying at our house on school nights would be in his best interest. She disagrees. The school
ESE teacher (he only has one ESE class now....was all ESE when he came to live with us 8 years ago!) says he smells of cat urine, he is drawing on his body like he used to a few years ago, he is making animal noises, he is
disrespectful. All that in addition to have two F's and 1 D in his classes.
He has had a B average for two years. The head counselor said "thank God you are taking him back" when I spoke to them Friday...even the school psychologist is rather gravely concerned.
GFGmom is GFGmom. She wants "to prove she can be a good Mother".
WTH.....or the stronger abbreviation! I told her "NOW is not the time to prove yourself. He will graduate in May with a good GPA and be ready for
the next step in maturing staying at our 'boring' house. You can prove yourself to be a good Mom with your little girl, with difficult child on the weekends
and after he graduates if he chooses to live with you...you can prove it for the rest of your life."
She replied "He is MY son. He is HAPPY here. He is not coming back to your house."
Following husband's visit with difficult child, we decided to give it up. difficult child turns 18 in October and I "know" GFGmom will get him to take control her way. I can
use my Durable Power of Attorney to fight it in court. I could easily call HRS. I could have her arrested for taking money. The bottom line is that
she has him and I don't.
Are you ready for a shock? Yes, those of you who have known me for
eight years plus. I wrote her an email and I said with total sincerity. "I
have spent 44 years giving everything I had to foster your growth. I have
worked with you for 21 years trying to supplement your parenting. I have
taken difficult child who was almost completely disfunctional and nurtured him into
a fairly successful young man. You have no regard for anyone but you. I
no longer want you to telephone my house or my store. I no longer will read any emails from you. I want to be removed as your emergency contact. I am through."
Yep.........I did it. GFGmom is out of my life. difficult child knows how to find me if he wants to. I am off the rollercoaster that started in l964 with a baby who was different. I divorced my husband because he wanted to beat sense into her or put her away. I sold my house to get money for her to go to a special school. I left my hometown because she was hanging out with troubled people and moved to a city I have disliked for thirty years. We used what little retirement we had to buy her a house (joint with us) so her two sons would be in a safe secure environment. Etc. ETc. Etc.
I am angry BUT there is a huge relief in knowing I don't have to see her again. Phew/Whew. DDD
PS: Re easy child/difficult child and driving. He is 21 and deemed capable of driving. I
can only try to control vehicle use....but I understand Stella.