Update...yeesh.

[Albatross]

I'm sorry, Lil, for another turn in the barrel. It may not look like it right now, but in spite of this setback he has handled challenges lately better than he used to.

What's really striking to me is how much YOU'VE grown, staying so calm and detached!

He will figure it out.

 

[BusynMember]

Im afraid to ask what arby roast beef is today.....

 

[GoingNorth]

Arby's roast beef is chopped and formed beef product mixed with gelatin and other binders. It's basically no different than Buddhig or other very cheap lunchmeat. Horrid stuff. It comes pre-sliced and is thrown on a warming table in a pan with some liquid to heat it up in.


It's a pity, as in the early 70s, it was a damned good sandwich.

 

[New Leaf]

I told him whatever. It's his life. He's the one that has to pay the bills and we're not doing it. He said he knew that. He was going to talk to the landlord. I wished him good luck.

Sad.

Ouchie. SIGH. The world according to our d cs just seems to revolve on a different axis.
Keep strong Lil, it is another chapter in the hopefully soon to be ending saga..........
(((HUGS)))
leafy

 

[New Leaf]

Horrid stuff. It comes pre-sliced and is thrown on a warming table in a pan with some liquid to heat it up in.


It's a pity, as in the early 70s, it was a damned good sandwich

I am beginning to think that the only food we can trust is what we grow and process ourselves.....yeesh.
leafy

 

[BusynMember]

GN, thanks for the gross heads up. Ive pretty much given up fast food anyway, but hub eats it. Ick.

 

[GoingNorth]

The only fast food I eat is a Wendy's Jr Baconburger (no tomato) about once a month, and KFC once every few months. I do eat frozen meals quite often as its hard for me to get motivated to cook for one.

 

[Lil]

Ladies (and our very few gentlemen) - I tip my virtual hat to you...who have had kids putting them thru so much worse. I don't know how you do it. I really don't.

Woke up to a Facebook message from 3:46 a.m. "I need to talk to you sometime this weekend...I'm just really really depressed and scared."

I think my heart actually stopped. I felt like someone had put a fist around it and squeezed. I couldn't get my breath. I think I had a mini panic attack just reading that message.

He is literally killing me with this crap.

How did I let my guard drop so much? He was doing well, I know he was. He was working. He was paying bills. Now this...like a slap upside the head.

My response was "Fine. But not today."

I'm going to get fired myself if I don't stop obsessing over him!

It comes pre-sliced

I never asked him...but he did mention running the slicer - so I don't think it comes pre-sliced? But I could be wrong.

Not that I'm likely to ever eat there again...just like I never go to the restaurant next door to the place he lived with all the cockroaches. He keeps this up, I'll run out of places to eat in this town.

 

[BusynMember]

Lil,remember he caused this by quitting his job. If he is depressed and scared he would be best served by a mental health professional. You cant solve his mental health problems. You are smart, but this is not your field of speciality.
My guess is, now that he quit his job, he is about to hit you up for money. He caused the problem, but probably will sell you a sad story to melt your heart. Just be prepared to hear it and how you will respond. Always good to be prepared.
If he wanted to address his mental health issues, how can a lawyer help him, even his mom?
He needs in my opinion to learn to help his own issues and stop quitting jobs and then panicking and asking for money. Bet he'll blame it on his roommates or girlfriend. But, really, he let them move in. He needs help teaching him life skills. You and jabber could be his life coaches, but he wont listen to you. He really really needs to hear from somebody not so involved how to do this thing called life.
None of us can live forever. All d cs will eventually NEED to do life alone.
Hugs and more hugs.

 

[TheWalrus]

Woke up to a Facebook message from 3:46 a.m. "I need to talk to you sometime this weekend...I'm just really really depressed and scared."

I think my heart actually stopped. I felt like someone had put a fist around it and squeezed. I couldn't get my breath. I think I had a mini panic attack just reading that message.

Those "I need to talk to you" messages stop my heart too. They are never good talks, and I know to expect the bottom to fall out. I agree with SWOT. Talk when you're ready and prepared (mentally and emotionally) for how to respond. I know I have learned to wait, bc when I immediately respond it is 100% emotion and instinct driven. If I wait and process before I respond, I can do so without so much inner turmoil and with reason and thinking driving the train.

 

[Childofmine]

I had those messages too. They killed me. Then they threw me into a tailspin.

Life skills. All of our DCs on this board need this type of training. I guess PCs get it by watching and going through the regular growing up processes, at least it looks like easy child did for the most part, and he grew up in the same house as Difficult Child.

But with Difficult Child, just about everything, he is having to learn now. He was checked out for about six years so he is playing catch up.

I think many of us take the life skills we know for granted. I know I am still surprised at the things Difficult Child asks me. I would have thought he would somehow know these things but he doesn't.

And sadly, as we know, they have to learn them on their own. It's so painful to watch.

Lil, hang in there. You are doing so great taking care of yourself and setting boundaries with him. 99% of the time, those middleofthenight phone calls are somehow "resolved" by morning without us doing a single thing. If you can wait, likely he will have moved on past this when you talk with him.

I'm still sorry for your worry and pain. He has made progress. Hold onto that thought. He really has. It's just not pretty.

 

[Nature]

I'm sorry you are taking so many hits lately. A car accident too? Oh no! I sincerely hope he and his friends are okay. I can understand the feeling of wanting to hide from the world and do nothing. Unfortunately, unlike our offspring we don't take that luxury unless it's our day off but I think we battered parents all feel like we wish we could sometimes. I hope you are taking care of yourself and I am thinking of you.

 

[A dad]

These damn responsabilities really get in our way and make us power trough really awful days but I wish they do not.

 

[nlj]

"I need to talk to you sometime this weekend...I'm just really really depressed and scared."

I think that's been cut and pasted from my son's e-mail account.

If so, then the next message will read (if I remember correctly):

"Hey mum, yeah I'm fine, chilling with some mates, catch you some time soon"

This second message most often appears after 3 sleepless nights and countless hours planning how I'm going to 'rescue' him.

 

[Lil]

O.M.G!!! I'm starting a new thread folks.

 

[New Leaf]

uh oh, I have been thinking and praying for you this morning.........