Copa- thank you for sharing that story. I am sorry about yours parents, most especially your Father. I really believe women need their Fathers. Fatherless daughters grow up to be insecure, carry a sense of rejection, abandonment, lack self confidence and lack of control over the emotions. How sad for you to lose your Father, who you adored. I think of the movie, "Hope Floats" in the scene where Bernice, the little girl, wants to go with her Father. He has a new girlfriend, he tells her not now, you can't, maybe some other time, and she begs, pleads and cries, please Daddy, take me with you. He drives off and leaves her holding her suitcase. I cried during that scene. So gut wrenching for children who go through a parent/parents leaving them in the dust. I refused to let my Father crush me- he knew (my mom kept him updated) I had a better life then he ever could have provided for me.
My baby brother was only 4 months old. It was raining hard outside, terrible storm, wind kicking up. Dad hurried mom in the car with my brother, he shut the door, but mom leaned out as her dress was caught, and he slammed the door on my brothers head. He died at the hospital from inter-cranial hemorrhage. Both parents drank after that- just were like the walking dead I guess. My parents divorced and went on to marry their spouses. Sis and I were able to see our Mom off and on- but then she died too soon when I was 24 of breast cancer. Dad still loved her till she died. But Dad, pretty much couldn't be around us. I think they both blamed each other, staying together was a constant reminder of the loss of their boys. We were a reminder of his lost sons, we survived, they didn't. In his obituary, he never even mentioned that he had two daughters. That was hard to deal with- in the end, we just didn't matter to him.
During Iraq war, we had a Marine that died from my town. Catholic family, 8 kids. Mother couldn't handle it- she divorced her husband. Still is grieving.
I suffered from fear of rejection for many years- it was my beautiful daughter that helped me recognize that and heal.