BusynMember
Well-Known Member
We'll see if anyone wants to do this. I'll start with my own list and see if it grows. I think young difficult child's share a lot of traits of adult difficult child's that we have in our lives too :/
1. Extreme impulsivity, inability to think outside the present (I want it NOW, I'll do it or get it NOW). Risky behavior. Acting without thinking.
2. Lack of self-discipline, quick to anger and act on it. Inability to just take that pause and think things over first.
3. Allergic to the words "no, you can't." Inability to allow anyone else to have power of him/her.
4. "I'll worry about it when it happens." Inability or unwillingness to think about the future.
5. Self-sabatage: "Your idea won't work." "I'm not going to try it because it won't work." "It can't work." "No, it's a bad idea." "I won't even try. There's no point." "I know my grades were better when I did my homework, but it's too hard. I can't keep it up."
6. Inability to take the blame. "You made me do it." "I wouldn't have done it if Dad hadn't taken away my computer privledges." "If you didn't have so many rules, I'd follow them. You're too strict." "These cigarettes belong to Paul. I'm holdling them for him."
7. Inability or unwillingness or both to understand how other people feel. Sometimes, like in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), they don't get it. Sometimes they won't get it. "Big deal if I took Jane's stupid book. She doesn't even read the book so why is she making such a big deal out of it now?"
8. Lack of boundaries. Going into the rooms and purses and drawers of others.
9. Rigidity. Unwilling to accept or unable to accept change. Having a much harder time with any sort of change, be it new school, new house, new neighborhood, new furniture than other people. No understanding of how to go with the flow or how to make the best of things. Although all kids dislike this sort of change, these kids can not or will not adjust to it in a reasonable amount of time or they get so nervous about it that they don't succeed.
10. Rebellious nature. Automatically ready to say the sky is red even while looking at it.
This is my list of ten. I"m sure I have more. But I'm sure you do too and I'd like to compile a list like we did for typical teen. Newbies who only have one chld or never raised a easy child really don't know the difference between a typical child and one who is wired differently so maybe it could help them.
Of course no difficult child has every single trait, but I believe the ten markers I laid out will make life much harder for the child (or adult) and his/her family. Any other suggestions? I don't know if anyone else will want to do it, but thought I'd give it a shot.
1. Extreme impulsivity, inability to think outside the present (I want it NOW, I'll do it or get it NOW). Risky behavior. Acting without thinking.
2. Lack of self-discipline, quick to anger and act on it. Inability to just take that pause and think things over first.
3. Allergic to the words "no, you can't." Inability to allow anyone else to have power of him/her.
4. "I'll worry about it when it happens." Inability or unwillingness to think about the future.
5. Self-sabatage: "Your idea won't work." "I'm not going to try it because it won't work." "It can't work." "No, it's a bad idea." "I won't even try. There's no point." "I know my grades were better when I did my homework, but it's too hard. I can't keep it up."
6. Inability to take the blame. "You made me do it." "I wouldn't have done it if Dad hadn't taken away my computer privledges." "If you didn't have so many rules, I'd follow them. You're too strict." "These cigarettes belong to Paul. I'm holdling them for him."
7. Inability or unwillingness or both to understand how other people feel. Sometimes, like in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), they don't get it. Sometimes they won't get it. "Big deal if I took Jane's stupid book. She doesn't even read the book so why is she making such a big deal out of it now?"
8. Lack of boundaries. Going into the rooms and purses and drawers of others.
9. Rigidity. Unwilling to accept or unable to accept change. Having a much harder time with any sort of change, be it new school, new house, new neighborhood, new furniture than other people. No understanding of how to go with the flow or how to make the best of things. Although all kids dislike this sort of change, these kids can not or will not adjust to it in a reasonable amount of time or they get so nervous about it that they don't succeed.
10. Rebellious nature. Automatically ready to say the sky is red even while looking at it.
This is my list of ten. I"m sure I have more. But I'm sure you do too and I'd like to compile a list like we did for typical teen. Newbies who only have one chld or never raised a easy child really don't know the difference between a typical child and one who is wired differently so maybe it could help them.
Of course no difficult child has every single trait, but I believe the ten markers I laid out will make life much harder for the child (or adult) and his/her family. Any other suggestions? I don't know if anyone else will want to do it, but thought I'd give it a shot.