We sold his car today

[in a daze]

Well, it really wasn't HIS car, just a beater that we kept for his sister and then him to use. But this was a big deal, to sell the car. We know that he's not going to be on his feet anytime soon, maybe never. I'm kind of a mess about it, but I know it's for the best.

So he's still in the halfway house. Mentally, more stable. The delusions and paranoia about the people he lives with have dissipated. Started again with mood swings so back on lithium. Much anxiety about finding a part time job. Took two long bus rides to an interview last week. Has been approved for SSI, but benefits not started yet. Goes to 5 groups a week. Intensive outpatient 3 days a week, takes two buses.

Called me the other day. Out of some medication, what could I do for him? He still sees me as the go to for his inability to manage his medications. Found the number for his present psychiatrist and gave it to him. Maybe some day he'll stop calling me about that.

 

[scent of cedar]

You did the right thing, Daze. There can always be another car, when he is better. For now, getting him better is the goal. I am glad he is on disability, and is in a safe place where they are helping him.

Cedar

 

[in a daze]

Thanks Cedar.

My son blames his dad for the way he treated him growing up, too. Yes, it's all manipulation to make us feel guilty.

 

[dstc_99]

Learning how to earn it will make it more important. Sad but true.

Glad to hear you are able to help without helping. I am getting ready to have to pull that plug soon and I have a feeling it isn't going to be pretty.

 

[recoveringenabler]

Hang in there IAD, it is hard, but you're doing the right thing............small steps in the right direction.......one day at a time........sending hugs and good thoughts.........

 

[susiestar]

(((((hugs)))))

The things we do when we realize that they won't be able/ready/safe for the foreseeable future can be so very hard. I remember the day we sent Wiz' bed over to my parent's and how it hurt so very much. My parents had just bought it for him a few mos before and I did NOT want to send it to their home. Mom thought I was being greedy, wanting the mattress for one of the others or for a guest bed. I didn't want to let it go because it meant he was not just away getting help, he was really gone and was not coming back for a very long time.

It will ease a bit in time, but make sure that you talk about it with your therapist or someone.

It is good that he is in treatment and has this chance to learn how to change his life.

 

[in a daze]

Thanks to ALL of you for your words of wisdom and encouragement. It was just so symbolic, so final when we got rid of the car yesterday. He doesn't ask about the car, and I won't volunteer the information unless he asks.

 

[scent of cedar]

It helps so much to post about it, Daze.

I think it helps all of us, to hear how others of us feel, and how we are dealing with the terrible things that happen.

Holding a good thought for you as you go through this part.

I think you did the right thing. It takes more courage to do that.

Cedar

 

[Echolette]

(((((hugs)))))

The things we do when we realize that they won't be able/ready/safe for the foreseeable future can be so very hard. I remember the day we sent Wiz' bed over to my parent's and how it hurt so very much. My parents had just bought it for him a few mos before and I did NOT want to send it to their home. Mom thought I was being greedy, wanting the mattress for one of the others or for a guest bed. I didn't want to let it go because it meant he was not just away getting help, he was really gone and was not coming back for a very long time.

I know this feeling. I remember getting rid of his magazines and his drumset when I realized he would never play again, at least, not in my house, not with friends, not in band. Then his clothes. and now I have a sofa bed in his room...I asked him about that last one, he said he didnt mind. but I do. cause I can't believe I'll never live with the sweet boy or young man of my dreams, the one who doesn't exist. I can't believe my parenting role is over. Those are hard things to come to terms with.