we want son out!

[jude-in-nj]

I also treat my son like I would a neighbor.. my husband barely speaks to him at all.
And after this week.. ughhhhh.. It's a roller coaster ride isn't it? I just want to get off!

 

[jetsam]

yes i get it. it is so exhausting! I keep my sanity (barley) by keeping my mind occupied . I either work on training my dog, going to the gym,swimming just stuff that makes me focus on other things so i don't keep dwelling on the crap! and when thoughts start to creep in, as we know they eventually do, i change the activity so i have to have new focus again. Works well during the day most of the time but nights are hard! Since no one would appreciate me starting to vacuum at 1 in the morning i do tend to have difficulty sleeping at night because i can't seem to shut my brain down ugh

 

[jetsam]

Our guilt does not guide us to making good choices for our grown kids or ourselves. it hampers us, which is why therapy for us is so important. For us. So that we can love ourselves and do what is right for us, which is also usually right for them, even if it's hard.

you are so right! that is why we are in the situation we are in! I agree counseling would help but my husband is not ready to commit to that and we need to go together as part of the issue is him letting son come back and enabling him. He knows all this on a conscious level but ...i don't know maybe its the "first born and only male child thing that keeps him thinking maybe this time it will be different or maybe this time i can save him from himself...I try to get through to him , i know this is futile and only my son can help himself and only if he truly wants help, which he obviously dosen't. so I'm stuck at the moment. unless I'm willing to leave my husband, which i couldn't imagine because he is a wonderful caring man, I am gonna have to try and wait it out . We are moving in june and i already told my husband i will not allow my son to move with us .I will stick to my guns on this and ultimately my husband may need to make a choice at that time...we shall see