What do I do? Need advise

[InsaneCdn]

If his wife has the title, why doesn't SHE go get it?

 

[Lil]

If his wife has the title, why doesn't SHE go get it?

Very good question.

 

[okie girl]

I have to agree with everyone else. Getting that truck will do no good, but may cause some harm....in your relationship with your husband. Your son didn't straighten up when he had the truck, why would he do so because you get it back for him. Anyway, you are out the money. His wife has the title, you don't. You can't sell the truck. You can't sell the tires off it. You can't do anything but throw more money at it and then what...let it sit somewhere and remind you of him?



If you do anything...I'd just see if they'd let you get his personal items out of it. You could put the clothes in a box, tape it shut, stick it on a shelf and forget about it until he gets out. But really, that's the absolute limit. There are charities he can go to to get clothes when he gets out of prison and, you have to face the fact, it may be a long time.

Your son is as old as Jabber, my husband! He's not the sweet boy you raised anymore and there is zero you can do to change that.

I'm very sorry.

I am taking Echo's advise and stepping away. You are right, I don't need to sink any more money into it. I found out yesterday Difficult Child is out of jail. Can you believe that! I don't know how he got released but he did. The truck is his responsibility and he will have to deal with it. Thank you for your support.

 

[okie girl]

okie girl, I remember getting confused, too, about money I had spent, and then I was also really mad, at him and at myself, so I wanted to get SOMETHING back for all my troubles.

My ex-husband (his dad) and I had helped him get a nice used Toyota Camry that he picked out---that car was so clean. He was supposed to pay both of us back for the car over time. Never saw a dime of it.

And then, finally, the car was so completely trashed out, inside and outside, and my ex had it towed to my neighborhood to store where we have a fenced in area for boats, etc.

I would look at that car, and cry. It was a metaphor for his life. So much promise, and then, completely wrecked.

Finally, he got the car, and got it going, and then sold it as is, got enough to pay for another car. I didn't spend any more money of my own on that car. We by then had learned the hard, hard way that either he was going to have to figure it out, or it wouldn't get figured out.

But I remember all of my emotions surrounding that car. We have to completely let go of the past, and our involvement and our anger, and disappointment and our Cinderella stories about "maybe this time, if I help with this, he will do THAT'.

Time for you and your husband. Let the system work. It will work just fine and his life will continue to move forward. Hang in there Okie Girl! Let it go, let it go, let it go.

My husband and I have tried to help him so many times. We have given him several thousands of dollars over the last few years. My Difficult Child's father is deceased and my Difficult Child has turned out just like him. It is so sad because my Difficult Child knows where this road will lead him but he continues to follow in his dad's foot steps. I know you are so right, I've got to let it go....thanks for caring.

 

[Ironbutterfly]

Yep. I agree let it go he is 45 years old. As far as clothes, well there are plenty of charities that give put free clothes. Trust me he will find clothes, food and survive. Maybe this is his rock bottom, losing that truck.