worst day ever- armed standoff
- Thread starter DammitJanet
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- aggressive child ativan
mstang67chic
Going Green
Go find the title then take it with you to a quiet spot to have a ciggarette. Lay the title down and distractedly lay your lit cigarette on it. Seriously though, I wouldn't give it to anyone. It's not your title to give out, and you don't have to let anyone in your house to look for it if you don't want to. That's just ridiculous that you can't get a TPO at least. Is there anyone that can take you tomorrow to get a restraining order?
Hugs and thoughts.
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
Oh Janet.
What can I say that has not already been said? What a horrible predicament to have been put in. Hugs to you.
Maybe you just "don't know" where that title is? Really?
Maybe it "got lost"?
Jail is the safest place for that boy to be. FOr society and for him. It's a shame that the county you are in is so bass ackwards. Big prayers, and big ups for standing your ground. that could not have been easy.
What can I say that has not already been said? What a horrible predicament to have been put in. Hugs to you.
Maybe you just "don't know" where that title is? Really?
Maybe it "got lost"?
Jail is the safest place for that boy to be. FOr society and for him. It's a shame that the county you are in is so bass ackwards. Big prayers, and big ups for standing your ground. that could not have been easy.
TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
Go find the title then take it with you to a quiet spot to have a ciggarette. Lay the title down and distractedly lay your lit cigarette on it.
I love it!
Go for it!
Seriously though, I wouldn't give it to anyone. It's not your title to give out, and you don't have to let anyone in your house to look for it if you don't want to.
Absolutely.
That's just ridiculous that you can't get a TPO at least. Is there anyone that can take you tomorrow to get a restraining order?
I agree.
Hugs and thoughts. Lots and lots. Strength and clarity, too.
I love it!
Go for it!
Seriously though, I wouldn't give it to anyone. It's not your title to give out, and you don't have to let anyone in your house to look for it if you don't want to.
Absolutely.
That's just ridiculous that you can't get a TPO at least. Is there anyone that can take you tomorrow to get a restraining order?
I agree.
Hugs and thoughts. Lots and lots. Strength and clarity, too.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I dont know where the title is...it may not even have actually come yet. He only bought the car like two weeks ago. I think it takes at least 3 weeks for a title to come in the mail.
He has tried to call here collect on my cell...which I didnt even know was possible. I hung up.
He needs to give it a rest. I am sure he is desperate but this is where he needs to be.
If I could get to the courthouse et al I would but I cant but I will see about calling those people.
He has tried to call here collect on my cell...which I didnt even know was possible. I hung up.
He needs to give it a rest. I am sure he is desperate but this is where he needs to be.
If I could get to the courthouse et al I would but I cant but I will see about calling those people.
donna723
Well-Known Member
Yep, I agree with the others! Find that #*$&% car title and fire that sucker up! Then, if they ask, look them right in the eye and lie your head off! What's wrong with those people?!?!? :mad:
What you need to ask for is called an "ex parte" Order of Protection. They HAVE to give you one if you ask, don't let them give you any B.S. crappola about it! Legally, they HAVE to give you one if you ask - they have no choice. A lot of local law enforcement agencies don't like to do it - lots of paper work for them - tough noogies! They will try to talk you into a regular restraining order - don't let them! If you have a problem with them giving you an Order of Protection, PLEASE call your local domestic violence group - they will know how to get one and they will help you. I highly recommend that you call them anyway! "Ex Parte" means "one-sided" and it's only temporary, but it goes into effect immediately. It's enforcable right away, then you have a hearing later on down the road, but it gives you time. And it means that you can have him picked up if he comes anyway near you or your property just by making a phone call - you do NOT have to go in and swear out a warrant first with this kind of order. Please stay safe. Make sure your cell phone is charged up - hide it in your drawers if you have to! :blush: Sending lots more (((hugs))).
What you need to ask for is called an "ex parte" Order of Protection. They HAVE to give you one if you ask, don't let them give you any B.S. crappola about it! Legally, they HAVE to give you one if you ask - they have no choice. A lot of local law enforcement agencies don't like to do it - lots of paper work for them - tough noogies! They will try to talk you into a regular restraining order - don't let them! If you have a problem with them giving you an Order of Protection, PLEASE call your local domestic violence group - they will know how to get one and they will help you. I highly recommend that you call them anyway! "Ex Parte" means "one-sided" and it's only temporary, but it goes into effect immediately. It's enforcable right away, then you have a hearing later on down the road, but it gives you time. And it means that you can have him picked up if he comes anyway near you or your property just by making a phone call - you do NOT have to go in and swear out a warrant first with this kind of order. Please stay safe. Make sure your cell phone is charged up - hide it in your drawers if you have to! :blush: Sending lots more (((hugs))).
DazedandConfused
Well-Known Member
Oh my gosh! Janet, I'm so sorry. How very horrifying and frightening! (((hugs)))
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Janet
I'm sooooo sorry. I just saw this post. I haven't had much spare time to be on the board lately.
Personally, I wouldn't hand that title to anyone. Period. If it comes in the mail you don't have to admit to receiving it. Afterall, opening someone else's mail is a federal offense. And since you can't legally open the envelope how are you supposed to know it contains a car title? (get the idea)
My goodness lady you must be mentally and physically exhausted. I know I'd be drained.
You did the right thing. I'm so sorry Cory made it necessary for you to have to do it.
Sending many gentle ((((((hugs))))))) my friend and saying prayers.
I'm sooooo sorry. I just saw this post. I haven't had much spare time to be on the board lately.
Personally, I wouldn't hand that title to anyone. Period. If it comes in the mail you don't have to admit to receiving it. Afterall, opening someone else's mail is a federal offense. And since you can't legally open the envelope how are you supposed to know it contains a car title? (get the idea)
My goodness lady you must be mentally and physically exhausted. I know I'd be drained.
You did the right thing. I'm so sorry Cory made it necessary for you to have to do it.
Sending many gentle ((((((hugs))))))) my friend and saying prayers.
Hi Janet,
THis must have been hard for you. I still remember 5 cops holding my 11 yr old son down in cuffs, shackles and a mouth guard after he tried to kill me. I still jump 2 yrs later when someone comes near me. Even though he has been home a year, off medss and appears well I am still scared and just wait. My thoughts go out to you. I hope you have a lot of support.
Take care
Gary
THis must have been hard for you. I still remember 5 cops holding my 11 yr old son down in cuffs, shackles and a mouth guard after he tried to kill me. I still jump 2 yrs later when someone comes near me. Even though he has been home a year, off medss and appears well I am still scared and just wait. My thoughts go out to you. I hope you have a lot of support.
Take care
Gary
kris
New Member
<span style='font-size: 14pt'> <span style='font-family: Georgia'> <span style="color: #990000"> am i understanding this correctly? no one has said you *can't* have a TRO, it's just a transportation issue.
who told you they've set bail? someone offficial or one of his friends?
maybe someone from the domestic violence services could help with-transportation. it's certainly worth a shot.
maybe the probation violations have to he heard separately? i'm stunned they would even consider bail.
corey & husband have come to an understanding.....well how nice for THEM :grrr: :grrr: :grrr:.
i'm sorry, janet. this just shouldn't be so difficult for you.
oh hey, call victims' services. they should be able to help you get the RO, provide transportation, walk you through the process, etc.
kris </span> </span> </span>
who told you they've set bail? someone offficial or one of his friends?
maybe someone from the domestic violence services could help with-transportation. it's certainly worth a shot.
maybe the probation violations have to he heard separately? i'm stunned they would even consider bail.
corey & husband have come to an understanding.....well how nice for THEM :grrr: :grrr: :grrr:.
i'm sorry, janet. this just shouldn't be so difficult for you.
oh hey, call victims' services. they should be able to help you get the RO, provide transportation, walk you through the process, etc.
kris </span> </span> </span>
Marguerite
Active Member
Sorry Janet, I'm just getting to this now, I didn't see it earlier.
"husband & Cory have come to an understanding"... according to who? husband? Or Cory? I'd be having a stern talk to husband, ask him if he really did come to an understanding with Cory, or is this just more fantasy. He has to also have a talk to you and come to an understanding with you, before he makes any decisions he will regret. YOU were the one going through this. Get husband to talk to those who witnessed/heard over the phone what was going on. If he's only talked to Cory, then he hasn't had the whole picture in any sort of balanced way.
I am also appalled Cory can get bail. Maybe because husband has vouched for him?
If you go to the hospital for medical help, can you get something in writing from the doctor testifying to the state of your health as a result of all this turmoil? It could come in handy in court. Sounds like you need all the evidence and help you can get.
Do you have some sort of voice recording/message facility on your mobile? If so, leave calls unanswered, or see if you can program your phone for a different ring tone for the jail (or any phone call via a switchboard). We can program our phones for different ring tones from numbers known to the phone, vs those not known. That way you can ignore only SOME calls, those most likely to be Cory, and thus get a recorded message (if he leaves one).
Can you go away for a short while, if he's getting out on bail? Get someone to give you a heads up, and have someone ready with wheels?
This is ridiculous. husband has to choose where his loyalties lie.
Marg
"husband & Cory have come to an understanding"... according to who? husband? Or Cory? I'd be having a stern talk to husband, ask him if he really did come to an understanding with Cory, or is this just more fantasy. He has to also have a talk to you and come to an understanding with you, before he makes any decisions he will regret. YOU were the one going through this. Get husband to talk to those who witnessed/heard over the phone what was going on. If he's only talked to Cory, then he hasn't had the whole picture in any sort of balanced way.
I am also appalled Cory can get bail. Maybe because husband has vouched for him?
If you go to the hospital for medical help, can you get something in writing from the doctor testifying to the state of your health as a result of all this turmoil? It could come in handy in court. Sounds like you need all the evidence and help you can get.
Do you have some sort of voice recording/message facility on your mobile? If so, leave calls unanswered, or see if you can program your phone for a different ring tone for the jail (or any phone call via a switchboard). We can program our phones for different ring tones from numbers known to the phone, vs those not known. That way you can ignore only SOME calls, those most likely to be Cory, and thus get a recorded message (if he leaves one).
Can you go away for a short while, if he's getting out on bail? Get someone to give you a heads up, and have someone ready with wheels?
This is ridiculous. husband has to choose where his loyalties lie.
Marg
skeeter
New Member
Janet - to answer your probation comment (don't they then have to serve if they break it) - in a simple word, No.
We see it all the time here, someone breaks probation, and they just get MORE probation time added. Whoop-te-do. Makes no sense to me, either.
I'm still not getting the bail thing. I thought posting property had to be secured property - does he own the car outright or is he paying off a loan? If paying off a loan, the car is really only worth what he's paid down so far (to him) and not the value of the car.
We see it all the time here, someone breaks probation, and they just get MORE probation time added. Whoop-te-do. Makes no sense to me, either.
I'm still not getting the bail thing. I thought posting property had to be secured property - does he own the car outright or is he paying off a loan? If paying off a loan, the car is really only worth what he's paid down so far (to him) and not the value of the car.
SRL
Active Member
I'm so sorry Janet--I just saw this thread. What heartache this must be for you.
Cory is a danger to you and those you love. I hope you will put every legal protection you can get to keep him away from you, your home, and that baby. Don't allow yourself to be a victim of your own son.
Have you called around to see if they have a victim support system in your county? Many do and perhaps it would help you with issues such as transportation and putting an end to the phone calls. There may even be a way to put a block on phone calls from that number.
timer lady
Queen of Hearts
Janet,
I'm floored at the lack of consideration to the victims. I agree with Donna - follow her advise.
Call your local domestic abuse resources. You are not physically able to protect yourself; more importantly, you shouldn't have to protect yourself in this manner.
Sending prayers & (((hugs))) this morning.
I'm floored at the lack of consideration to the victims. I agree with Donna - follow her advise.
Call your local domestic abuse resources. You are not physically able to protect yourself; more importantly, you shouldn't have to protect yourself in this manner.
Sending prayers & (((hugs))) this morning.
On_Call
New Member
Janet,
I also just only saw this post this morning. I am so, so sorry that you had to go through (and are still going through) this most horrific, difficult time. I am sending many cyber hugs to you. I am so glad that you weren't physically hurt - nor was anyone else.
You absolutely did the right thing by calling the police. You have been given some great advice by other cyber-family members here. Call the violence hotline - here they do provide transportation and help victims cut through the red tape. An order of protection would be my first step, too.
The bail issue is astonishing to me, as well. Especially if he is representing himself or just has a Court appointed attorney. It would be one thing if he had a high-powered legal eagle on the job, but I can't believe they are just going to let him out. Would his friend's Mother be willing to add a statement to yours? She can't be any happier with the situation either. Did they pick up her son and the runaway girl, too? What's their deal? And, I would assume that your therapist would be willing to give a written statement - or at the very least make a few calls - vouching for the crisis factor.
I hope that Cory doesn't find anyone willing to give him bail money - and I hope the DMV loses the stinkin' title - or you lose it when it comes in the mail.
Again, I am so sorry and send volumes of supportive {{{hugs}}} to you.
I also just only saw this post this morning. I am so, so sorry that you had to go through (and are still going through) this most horrific, difficult time. I am sending many cyber hugs to you. I am so glad that you weren't physically hurt - nor was anyone else.
You absolutely did the right thing by calling the police. You have been given some great advice by other cyber-family members here. Call the violence hotline - here they do provide transportation and help victims cut through the red tape. An order of protection would be my first step, too.
The bail issue is astonishing to me, as well. Especially if he is representing himself or just has a Court appointed attorney. It would be one thing if he had a high-powered legal eagle on the job, but I can't believe they are just going to let him out. Would his friend's Mother be willing to add a statement to yours? She can't be any happier with the situation either. Did they pick up her son and the runaway girl, too? What's their deal? And, I would assume that your therapist would be willing to give a written statement - or at the very least make a few calls - vouching for the crisis factor.
I hope that Cory doesn't find anyone willing to give him bail money - and I hope the DMV loses the stinkin' title - or you lose it when it comes in the mail.
Again, I am so sorry and send volumes of supportive {{{hugs}}} to you.
KFld
New Member
I can't believe that your husband has come to an understanding with him after everything he did to you. Then again I can't believe they would give him bail when they pretty much had to hunt him down and he was armed. What are they thinking. What do they think he's going to do when he's out on bail.
Urghhhhhhhhh
Urghhhhhhhhh
mattsmom27
Active Member
Oh Janet, what a huge mess! I really hope that you were able to find a ride through a friend, victim assistance, something. I have been there, needing desperatly to be somewhere very very important and being stuck, ditto with beurocratic red flipping tape that makes you have to be personally in attendance and swear out statements etc. What a load of youknowwhat!
As for something for anxiety etc I really hope you had some luck getting in touch with a understanding doctor. I remember not long ago you were having problems with docs, insurance etc. I hope that has resolved itself and you get something. There is nothing worse than goign through something like this, trying to hang onto some semblance of sanity for yourself, and feeling you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I do agree that if the car title comes in the mail you shouldn't hand it over. Technically he no longer lives at your address, so how about sending it back marked "returned to sender, addressee does not reside at this address, all mail will not be accepted".
I am so sickened to know that they have set bail. For Cory's sake first off, he isn't stable enough to be walking around without it ending it disaster. And secondly, you have a right to feel secure in your own home. I hope something somehow has changed next time you update, and that bail won't be issued or Cory can't meet the terms or something!!!!!!!!
Please take special care of yourself and reach out to any agency that might be able to help you with the anxiety issue, with transportation to get in to file for protection, help advocate for you re: the bail issue etc.
Also please know we are all here for you, although it is cyberland and can't compare to being there in person to give you a hug, share a drink with you or just be there to listen to you vent it all out. We still are here, and saying prayers, rattling beads, etc.
((((hugs))))
Melissa
As for something for anxiety etc I really hope you had some luck getting in touch with a understanding doctor. I remember not long ago you were having problems with docs, insurance etc. I hope that has resolved itself and you get something. There is nothing worse than goign through something like this, trying to hang onto some semblance of sanity for yourself, and feeling you are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I do agree that if the car title comes in the mail you shouldn't hand it over. Technically he no longer lives at your address, so how about sending it back marked "returned to sender, addressee does not reside at this address, all mail will not be accepted".
I am so sickened to know that they have set bail. For Cory's sake first off, he isn't stable enough to be walking around without it ending it disaster. And secondly, you have a right to feel secure in your own home. I hope something somehow has changed next time you update, and that bail won't be issued or Cory can't meet the terms or something!!!!!!!!
Please take special care of yourself and reach out to any agency that might be able to help you with the anxiety issue, with transportation to get in to file for protection, help advocate for you re: the bail issue etc.
Also please know we are all here for you, although it is cyberland and can't compare to being there in person to give you a hug, share a drink with you or just be there to listen to you vent it all out. We still are here, and saying prayers, rattling beads, etc.
((((hugs))))
Melissa
mstang67chic
Going Green
Yeah, what she said!
