You know you have a difficult child when . . .

[pigless in VA]

The counselor looks at you and says, "What are we going to do about Ferb?!? He's making really bad choices."

 

[pasajes4]

When their name pops up on caller id and you break into a cold sweat.

 

[bluebell]

When they pass out in their car in the impound lot after an arrest and get themselves stuck in there all day.

 

[RN0441]

When you bawl your eyes out watching "The Voice" because some young person has so much drive and focus to be a good person/do good in the world and win a spot and their parents are busting with pride! (Me last night).

 

[ColleenB]

You find yourself awake all night since sleeping through the night is something you used to do... like when you had small children and everyone else said you would sleep again when they grew up....

You troll these boards all night, not even posting anymore, because why bother.... nothing seems to help anymore, but reading others stories help you not feel like a complete failure as a parent....

 

[ColleenB]

When they pass out in their car in the impound lot after an arrest and get themselves stuck in there all day.

I guess the good thing is they were safe?

 

[bluebell]

I guess the good thing is they were safe?

Yes! Still aggravated that he called us tho!

 

[so ready to live]

everyone else said you would sleep again when they grew up....

Who are these "everyone"? Certainly not real parents with real kid/adults...
I remember sleep...

 

[AnnieO]

When you can no longer become upset when they do something REALLY stupid.

 

[RedCedar]

You know you have a difficult child when he refuses to taken proven psychiatric medications but smokes pot because it cures all and is actually healthy and besides its your fault he needs it. And you actually wonder if you drove him to pot, joblessness, and abuse of yourself by him/her no longer shocks you or causes you outrage. In fact, you take accusations of things that never happened to heart and soul. Sad really.

I could have written this! My son has an ever-growing list of maladies for which he needs to stay stoned 24x7, most of which he attributes to my atrocious mothering. Despite many reassurances that I was and am not the Wicked Witch of the Midwest that he makes me out to be, I have as yet been unable to shake the feeling that I am somehow responsible for his self-defeating life choices. I really don't know how to get over it. I'm in therapy, and have recently been attending Al-Anon; hoping that I can, with help, learn to see things from a healthier, more reality-based viewpoint.

 

[PiscesMom]

when your son's school district rushes him to residential, even tho it will cost them $100,000 - and they didn't really want him released even when the residential said he was ok now.
oh, and you have a daughter being evaled to see if she should go to one too.
and you're clinging to whatever is left of your self esteem.

 

[Littleboylost]

You know you have a difficult child when he refuses to taken proven psychiatric medications but smokes pot because it cures all and is actually healthy and besides its your fault he needs it. And you actually wonder if you drove him to pot, joblessness, and abuse of yourself by him/her no longer shocks you or causes you outrage. In fact, you take accusations of things that never happened to heart and soul. Sad really.

I am so so with you there hugs from another sleepless night

 

[Littleboylost]

when your son's school district rushes him to residential, even tho it will cost them $100,000 - and they didn't really want him released even when the residential said he was ok now.
oh, and you have a daughter being evaled to see if she should go to one too.
and you're clinging to whatever is left of your self esteem.

I have been told by my son that I was drunk his entire childhood. I think because he only saw me drunk a time or two it has stuck in his mind but wow what a revelation. So I asked him if that had such an impact on you what kind of impact are you going to have on your children??? No highschool diploma smoking pot all day not getting out of bed. Hmmm I worked and went to school. I still found time for soccer, hockey, music lessons, birthday party's. wow what a terrible mother am I.

 

[PiscesMom]

I have been told by my son that I was drunk his entire childhood. I think because he only saw me drunk a time or two it has stuck in his mind but wow what a revelation. So I asked him if that had such an impact on you what kind of impact are you going to have on your children??? No highschool diploma smoking pot all day not getting out of bed. Hmmm I worked and went to school. I still found time for soccer, hockey, music lessons, birthday party's. wow what a terrible mother am I.

Kids are so hard on their mothers! Don't let him get to you and make you feel bad. That is manipulation. My son told the police I was a tax cheat! (In those days I got child support and had decent tax free income, I wasn't a tax cheat, lol) The police were there cuz he was doing something bad and he volunteered that "information." And I could go on with other mean comments he has made about me.

 

[susiestar]

I remember giggling at the counselor who wanted to know what WE were going to do. I did all I could think of. What was HE gonna do?

I never got `another one of those meetings.

 

[Littleboylost]

I am heading to one of those meetings come Monday. The community rehab couseler who thinks that harm reduction is going to help us, will be trying to convince us to keep Difficult Child with CD at home. Our family therapist is a very great lady and has her PhD she was a Director at the local mental health and rehab hospital in The city for over a decade before leaving the city and setting up private practice. She laughed and said they have not idea what they are dealing with. He will not change unless he goes to an inpatient program for behaviour and addiction. And he refuses to go and we can't force him to go. Tried the route of hospitals harm to self and others, and they keep him for 24 hours and he is out. Boys with Conduct Disorder can be so charming when they want to be.

 

[Littleboylost]

Kids are so hard on their mothers! Don't let him get to you and make you feel bad. That is manipulation. My son told the police I was a tax cheat! (In those days I got child support and had decent tax free income, I wasn't a tax cheat, lol) The police were there cuz he was doing something bad and he volunteered that "information." And I could go on with other mean comments he has made about me.

See my note below. And thank you for your support it truly truly helps so much!!

 

[Teriobe]

He goes to prison for four years and your happy and relieved

 

[pigless in VA]

I'm sorry, Teriobe. I wish it weren't like that for you.

 

[Littleboylost]

He goes to prison for four years and your happy and relieved

I wish there was a huge hug button on here.