You know you have a difficult child when . . .

[Littleboylost]

When you bawl your eyes out watching "The Voice" because some young person has so much drive and focus to be a good person/do good in the world and win a spot and their parents are busting with pride! (Me last night).

I feel that. We were researching rehab options while other parents were researching university.

 

[Littleboylost]

You find yourself awake all night since sleeping through the night is something you used to do... like when you had small children and everyone else said you would sleep again when they grew up....

You troll these boards all night, not even posting anymore, because why bother.... nothing seems to help anymore, but reading others stories help you not feel like a complete failure as a parent....

You are not a failure. You brought a child into this world with love and nurturing. You do not own their behaviour they do. Don't forget to love yourself! I am trolling right along with you.

 

[Littleboylost]

I wonder how long it would take Ferb to walk to Colorado.

Ya made me laugh out loud and I was having a very crappy day

 

[mamato3]

Boys with Conduct Disorder can be so charming when they want to be.

Oh yes they can! And everyone thinks I'm the "crazy" one for feeling the way I do about my Difficult Child. He's such a charmer, nice looking, dresses nice, has perfect manners, good grades, but is good about hiding his rage from others and manipulating, manipulating, manipulating...

 

[Littleboylost]

Oh yes they can! And everyone thinks I'm the "crazy" one for feeling the way I do about my Difficult Child. He's such a charmer, nice looking, dresses nice, has perfect manners, good grade, but is good about hiding his rage from others.

Mine is 6 credits behind didn't get his diploma so we will be back at it next year. He is tall handsome and charming. When he rages it is frightening.

 

[Littleboylost]

You are not a failure. You brought a child into this world with love and nurturing. You do not own their behaviour they do. Don't forget to love yourself! I am trolling right along with you.

Ohhh Colleen Lookie what I found

 

[Littleboylost]

You know you have a difficult child when you are very excited because they get a job delivering pizza, even though they have high potential.

You get used to them quitting their jobs because their boss told them what to do.

Difficult Child is 17 on job number 5 he will be fired for no shows in 3,2,1....

 

[mamato3]

Mine is 6 credits behind didn't get his diploma so we will be back at it next year. He is tall handsome and charming. When he rages it is frightening.

My son actually got great grades in honors classes all the way through 11th grade. His senior year, this last year, he knew all he had to do was pass English to graduate and he did with an A. Other classes, not so much, but this school year was the start of his "disorder" getting completely out of control. Even though I'm a teacher, I have never focused on grades because they are so subjective.

And yes, my son's rages are frightening, too. Luckily, I have learned so much from the wonderful people on this board and I told my son that we could not live with him like that. I think he knew I was serious and he has tried his best to control his emotions. I have also worked on myself and am trying to stop engaging. I know that has helped, too. I can't imagine kicking my son out, but I also can't live the way we were living.

 

[Littleboylost]

He goes to prison for four years and your happy and relieved

 

[Littleboylost]

My son actually got great grades in honors classes all the way through 11th grade. His senior year, this last year, he knew all he had to do was pass English to graduate and he did with an A. Other classes, not so much, but this school year was the start of his "disorder" getting completely out of control. Even though I'm a teacher, I have never focused on grades because they are so subjective.

And yes, my son's rages are frightening, too. Luckily, I have learned so much from the wonderful people on this board and I told my son that we could not live with him like that. I think he knew I was serious and he has tried his best to control his emotions. I have also worked on myself and am trying to stop engaging. I know that has helped, too. I can't imagine kicking my son out, but I also can't live the way we were living.

Sadly mine has got to go Difficult Child took my car and came home stoned and brought drugs into the Hosue on the deal breaker list. Since may we have been on a magic carpet ride. Caught selling drugs did a runner with the car. Cops get the car don't charge the son. Son couch surfs begs to come home. Write contract he signs. Day 2 breaks cerfew, day 3 big bag o weed and Coke in his room. Call the cops arrested charges 2 counts of possession. Guilted into bailing him out. Day 2 breeches bail by snoring oxy that he stole from me after I had surgery (husband went to replace it I said no way bring me Toradol). Threatens to kill bimself call 911 big display for the neighbours, they say he's fine and leave him. In open custody for 4 days local charity bailed him out. Now I have go take him to rehab and bail meetings and court aren't I lucky. To reside with us. Refuses to follow the rules found with drugs again does a runner this time no car dragged suit cases around for 2 weeks begs to come home I say go to rehab and yes. He ODs on Xanax and ampetamines The day after my mom dies. Hospital 24 hour hold put in rehab bed discharges himself. Leaves we say no rehab no home. Calls begs and cries. Take him to court smells like he slept in a ditch is as high as a kite can. Hardly talk. Begs to come home says ok to rehab. In outpatient rehab ....it's a waste of tax payers money ....nice lady ....harm reduction ...BS ....conning her manipulating cunning sneaking drugs ...has a major fall out with new girlfriend who is anorexic on drugs a cutter and depressed....he takes car sneaks her in over night...riot act....sneaks her in again....she is tiny....they have a major blow out I contact her parents ....they threaten to call police as he is harassing her....he decides he is going to be a cutter too....his wounds are very superficial....nice try.....back to court asks for extension still has no lawyer organized.....to bail...to rehab....to work....find out he has hidden key for car we have no insurance on and he has been driving it....read the riot act ....and the start stop continue list with consequences....and he is outta here....brought drugs into the house used my car to do it...drive high....I really need to wear my keys around my neck I now sleep with locked bedroom door keys and money under my pillow...keys on sa fob around my neck 24/7. Rants and rants and rants...today Mr nice guy begging me not to make him leave...his new diggs will be a room in a transition house or group/foster home....I feel like the works parent in the world....to my happy place on CD on line what a great 8 weeks!

 

[Littleboylost]

 

[mof]

 

[mamato3]

Sadly mine has got to go Difficult Child took my car and came home stoned and brought drugs into the Hosue on the deal breaker list. Since may we have been on a magic carpet ride. Caught selling drugs did a runner with the car. Cops get the car don't charge the son. Son couch surfs begs to come home. Write contract he signs. Day 2 breaks cerfew, day 3 big bag o weed and Coke in his room. Call the cops arrested charges 2 counts of possession. Guilted into bailing him out. Day 2 breeches bail by snoring oxy that he stole from me after I had surgery (husband went to replace it I said no way bring me Toradol). Threatens to kill bimself call 911 big display for the neighbours, they say he's fine and leave him. In open custody for 4 days local charity bailed him out. Now I have go take him to rehab and bail meetings and court aren't I lucky. To reside with us. Refuses to follow the rules found with drugs again does a runner this time no car dragged suit cases around for 2 weeks begs to come home I say go to rehab and yes. He ODs on Xanax and ampetamines The day after my mom dies. Hospital 24 hour hold put in rehab bed discharges himself. Leaves we say no rehab no home. Calls begs and cries. Take him to court smells like he slept in a ditch is as high as a kite can. Hardly talk. Begs to come home says ok to rehab. In outpatient rehab ....it's a waste of tax payers money ....nice lady ....harm reduction ...BS ....conning her manipulating cunning sneaking drugs ...has a major fall out with new girlfriend who is anorexic on drugs a cutter and depressed....he takes car sneaks her in over night...riot act....sneaks her in again....she is tiny....they have a major blow out I contact her parents ....they threaten to call police as he is harassing her....he decides he is going to be a cutter too....his wounds are very superficial....nice try.....back to court asks for extension still has no lawyer organized.....to bail...to rehab....to work....find out he has hidden key for car we have no insurance on and he has been driving it....read the riot act ....and the start stop continue list with consequences....and he is outta here....brought drugs into the house used my car to do it...drive high....I really need to wear my keys around my neck I now sleep with locked bedroom door keys and money under my pillow...keys on sa fob around my neck 24/7. Rants and rants and rants...today Mr nice guy begging me not to make him leave...his new diggs will be a room in a transition house or group/foster home....I feel like the works parent in the world....to my happy place on CD on line what a great 8 weeks!

Oh my goodness! Reading this breaks my heart! I am so sorry that your family is going through this nightmare. My magic carpet ride has not been quite as "exciting" so to speak. We have had multiple suicide threats (manipulation), one in-patient stay that was at a horrible facility that did nothing but set son backwards, a mentally ill girlfriend, a DUI, marijuana, three jobs-fired from three jobs, an outrageous amount of bills thanks to DUI, manipulation, stealing money, medical bills, you name it...

I hope and pray your son straightens up and starts making better decisions.

 

[mof]

Job number three should happen soon... when faced with evidence will look you straight in the face and lie to you.

And somehow they are never to blame for their actions!

So why do I feel like I'm on the crazy train?

 

[RN0441]

When our children do drugs, we are on the crazy train. Nothing is normal.

Littleboylost how do you have any TIME TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE?

Someone said on here to STOP seeing that cute little boy with a boo boo on their knee! That will help!

He is almost an adult and he is causing you so much anxiety. He is out of control!!

Please stop bailing him out and giving in. You can see it is not doing anyone any good; least of all you.

Just reading your story is truly exhausting.

Hugs and PLEASE get tough. Real tough.

 

[RN0441]

When our children do drugs, we are on the crazy train. Nothing is normal.

Littleboylost how do you have any TIME TO LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE?

Someone said on here to STOP seeing that cute little boy with a boo boo on their knee! That will help!

He is almost an adult and he is causing you so much anxiety. He is out of control!!

Please stop bailing him out and giving in. You can see it is not doing anyone any good; least of all you.

Just reading your story is truly exhausting.

Hugs and PLEASE get tough. Real tough.

Oops I meant least of all HIM!

 

[Littleboylost]

Oh my goodness! Reading this breaks my heart! I am so sorry that your family is going through this nightmare. My magic carpet ride has not been quite as "exciting" so to speak. We have had multiple suicide threats (manipulation), one in-patient stay that was at a horrible facility that did nothing but set son backwards, a mentally ill girlfriend, a DUI, marijuana, three jobs-fired from three jobs, an outrageous amount of bills thanks to DUI, manipulation, stealing money, medical bills, you name it...

I hope and pray your son straightens up and starts making better decisions.

That is more than enough for you as well. I don't feel so alone. A lot of tears shed this morning. He is being on perfect behaviour because he knows we have asked him to leave. If we let his stay or when he does leave behaviour will be back to square one. Only way he can come back is in patient treatment program or request diversion to a specialized rehab program vs probation or jail time.

 

[Littleboylost]

Oops I meant least of all HIM!

I have suffered enough I agree! Thanks for the support. He is being made leave. The bail and rehab coordinators are heel dragging in hopes that we change our mind. We won't. I have learned and know I am doing what is best for him in the long run. He has to go and suffer the consequences of his actions and fend for himself. And I need my life back.

 

[RN0441]

Yes you got it lady!

Honestly this forum made ME gain the strength I needed to do that with our son.

I have never regretted it one bit. Our son is doing so much better and learning so much and even though he is away from home and home sick, I do miss the person he was before he fed his addiction. I will always miss that person and hope someday that person will be back to stay.

Oddly enough, I missed that person when he was home even more!! I'm sure most of us can relate to that.

 

[Littleboylost]

I have to figure out how to grieve but no longer there. And I so miss him and pray he does come back some day.