Raising a dinosaur from the grave with this post, lol.
UPDATE:
My difficult child has "for the most part" followed the rules of the house and of his court designated worker. Until about a month ago, where I found evidence of pot use again. Homemade bongs, tin foil, lighters, eyedrops, etc.
Of course he says that he's not using, but will NOT submit to a drug test, which gives me the answer I already knew. Also, he skipped school and got high with a bunch of "friends". Well, the school kicked him out and remanded him to an alternative school that deals with kids like him. It's like a military school really.
I've continued trying to have him counseled during school hours, but he sits there with the therapist for awhile and then she tells me, "he just gets up and leaves".
He's missed several calls to his case worker, and has not turned in a few assignments that she'd given him to complete by specific dates. She's pretty much done with him and is going to recommend to the court that his judicial diversion be lifted and he go before the judge. I talked her out of doing this about two weeks ago, but after the last week I'm going to allow her to pull the trigger. Surely it will mean him going to a JDC, which he will never forgive me for. That being said, I'd rather him pissed at me forever and alive, than him continuing to spiral out of control and dead.
Tonight he tells me that "I'm ruining his life and that he wished I'd have died instead of his Mother". My reply...."me too son, your Mother was a wonderful woman and she loved you. BUT she would NOT approve of this type of behavior nor the choices you're making for yourself." I went on to say that I'm not ruining his life and explained that HIS CHOICES are ruining his life and he is experiencing discomfort due to the consequences of his choices.
He turns 18 in August and he's adamant that he will be leaving the shelter of dear of Dad's wing as soon as he finishes the school year in early June. Which of course I won't allow until he's 18. Hell, when he turns 18 I'm inclined to throw his crap in the yard and tell him to go, and let the world teach him these hard lessons. I'm obviously a moron that doesn't know anything.
I feel badly that I haven't posted here in awhile because I always liked talking about my difficult child with other parents that understand, so forgive me. I talk to my wife about this issue on a daily basis because she's living it with me. Even though she's my Difficult Child's step mom, she loves him and has loved him for the last 10 yrs. She has two kids of her own that live here with us, and my Difficult Child's drama is affecting them too. Which has my wife's attention, because if they were to go to their father's house for a visit and say that my Difficult Child is having drug issues, he'd move to have them removed from our home. I cannot allow that to happen, which is one reason I'll allow my Difficult Child's court designated worker to remand him to JDC. I love my step children just like they were my own...I've raised them since they were babies and don't want them to have any negative fallout because of my son's ongoing drama.
Also, my wife and I have a strong marriage and relationship and I'm noticing that Difficult Child's issues are causing conflict between us, can't allow that to happen either. I just can't help but feel that allowing him to be taken to JDC is the same as giving up on him, and I love him. However, he's refusing any and all counseling which he desperately needs. If for no other reason than dealing with the death of his Mother...nevermind our divorce many many years prior to her death.
So, am I giving up on my kid by allowing the state to remand my kid to JDC?
