I agree that a short evaluation will likely result in more trial and error with his life than really should happen. We have had very little luck with neuropsychologists though others here have had wonderful luck. My state can just be a little backward, and the only neuropsychologist we found dealt only with preconceived notions and his own stupid ego. He made up his mind long before he ever saw my child. It resulted in my daughter flat out refusing to speak with another doctor, not that this doctor would even do testing - he 'knew' what her problem was and said no testing was needed - based on a report by an undergraduate psychology student who said, "Hi what's your name" to my daughter. Literally, those are the only words she said to J.
If you have no luck with or finding a neuropsychologist, look for a developmental pediatrician. They often work with a group of other psychologists and psychometrists and then the group does the evaluation. My son had 3 days of 3 hour appts with 1-2 doctors at each session. Then they met as a group and discussed ALL the results and their impressions of my son. It was thorough and gave an evaluation that has been accurate and helpful, right down to catching his depression being "intractable" and likely needing more than 1 antidepressant. He is on 3, including one for the ADHD part of his Aspergers (strattera). Taking any one of the 3 away means that he doesn't function well. He actually hasn't needed more than a minor dosage tweak in seven years. It hasn't all been bump free, but once he decided to work with the medications, well, it was possible for him to make the changes and turn his life into something that he enjoys. It wasn't any of our plans, but it works for him and that is ALL that we ever wanted for him.
I do agree that tearing him down because the school doesn't meet his needs is counter-productive. Our kids get more than enough messages from everyone else about how they are worthless and useless. They need love and acceptance from us. But I also understand how frustrating it can be to have to figure out how to cope with everything. So we all stumble and make mistakes and say things we shouldn't. The best we can do is to try not to do it again if possible.
I understand about the kitten. My kids each had something that we NEVER, under ANY circumstances or in ANY situation, took away. It was their comfort item, that one thing that helped them self soothe. Wiz had a special teddy bear, Jess had a blanket with a certain texture, and thank you still has an absolutely ANCIENT blanket that my sister in law's mother in law made for my husband's now 30 yo nephew. It is on thank you's bed at this very minute. Unless he got hot and kicked it onto the floor. Plus sometimes you have to overlook something if you just can't deal with it at that time. My mom always said that if you are not going to make "NO" happen, to just keep your mouth shut and pretend you don't see whatever they are doing.
I hope you get more help figuring this out soon. By the way, I sent you a private message. If you look at the top right part of the page you will see "Inbox". Click that and you should be able to click on the message and read it. This form of the forum may call them conversations, but it is the same as what we used to call a private message.