Oh, Busy. I needed to read that post. Thank you. To take the 3Cs beyond addiction and apply it to everything is brilliant! We do have to let ourselves off the hook. I am in Europe now. My DC2 is sending Snapchat about the car, how she doesn't like her Father's rules, feels like a prisoner bla bla bla. She has been very aloof towards me . Today she wanted me to intervene with her Dad like I would in the past and asked whether I even cared. Well, this pissed me off . I said " let me get this straight: you want me to talk to your Dad on your behalf while I am on another continent? And speaking of caring: you don't ask how I am, how your Grandparents are, don't respond to my good night, don't respond to my posts I sent you (about cats) , only contact me when you want something from me namely my car. It's hurtful" She came back with some b.s. excuses and I dropped the conversation. You are right , Busy. This is selfishness, narcisism , it's a one way relationship. They take and take and take. And I need to drop the love I feel because this is my child and start acting from a place of protection for myself not from a place of emotion. Because when I do, I lose. Every time. Sorry to hijack the post.