Roxona
Active Member
Yep, SS10 had another explosive tantrum last night.
This time he received a write-up at school for being disrespectful of property and person and being defiant. I let his dad handle it completely. Dad's standing rule for bringing a write-up home is going to bed after dinner. SS10 went into meltdown mode. He screamed at his Dad and then started complaining how everyone is out to get him and how life isn't fair to him. He did not threaten anyone this time, which is a positive note.
After about 30 minutes of his Dad listening to SS10's woes, I asked Dad to see me for a second in another room. I told him that he was only feeding the fire by sitting there and beating a dead horse with SS10. He says he is just trying to get him to calm down, but I think it actually makes it worse and last longer. SS10 feeds off of negative attention and will prolong his consequence as long as he can by sucking his Dad into into his miseries and beating that poor darn horse over and over for hours and hours. I told him that all he had to do was tell SS10 that he loves him, but that he knows this is the consequence for his actions and that he will discuss other things with him tomorrow. My husband thinks this is too harsh. He is worried SS10 is going to hurt himself and thinks if he just keeps talking with him maybe it will all stop.
After my husband ended the conversation (less than 5 minutes after we talked), he left the room and said good night. SS10 keep yelling and demanding over and over for his father to come back in and talk to him. Dad went downstairs and melted with sadness in his chair. He is so worried that his son is losing his mind and that he is not going to be okay.
I asked him if he had heard from the children's hospital about being assigned a therapist. He said no. I asked him if he had called them to find out what is going on. He said no. I asked him why. He said it could take a couple of weeks. I asked him why. He said he didn't know. I told him that SS10 has had "another" explosive tantrum and the he is SS10's advocate and needs to call them ASAP to move this along. Waiting for someone to call you back is not the answer. I told him that if I was the legal guardian I would be calling every day until I got the answer I was looking for. I told him that I would never let my child sit there spinning out of control without doing my best to seek help for him. Yes, I shamed him there a little, but my gosh, nothing is going to get better if he just "waits and sees."
So, I have two questions...
1. How would you approach SS10's tantrums?
2. What are the consequences you apply for bringing home a write-up from school?
I am always looking for better ways of doing things, and I am at loss here as to what might work better. All advice is appreciated.
This time he received a write-up at school for being disrespectful of property and person and being defiant. I let his dad handle it completely. Dad's standing rule for bringing a write-up home is going to bed after dinner. SS10 went into meltdown mode. He screamed at his Dad and then started complaining how everyone is out to get him and how life isn't fair to him. He did not threaten anyone this time, which is a positive note.
After about 30 minutes of his Dad listening to SS10's woes, I asked Dad to see me for a second in another room. I told him that he was only feeding the fire by sitting there and beating a dead horse with SS10. He says he is just trying to get him to calm down, but I think it actually makes it worse and last longer. SS10 feeds off of negative attention and will prolong his consequence as long as he can by sucking his Dad into into his miseries and beating that poor darn horse over and over for hours and hours. I told him that all he had to do was tell SS10 that he loves him, but that he knows this is the consequence for his actions and that he will discuss other things with him tomorrow. My husband thinks this is too harsh. He is worried SS10 is going to hurt himself and thinks if he just keeps talking with him maybe it will all stop.
After my husband ended the conversation (less than 5 minutes after we talked), he left the room and said good night. SS10 keep yelling and demanding over and over for his father to come back in and talk to him. Dad went downstairs and melted with sadness in his chair. He is so worried that his son is losing his mind and that he is not going to be okay.
I asked him if he had heard from the children's hospital about being assigned a therapist. He said no. I asked him if he had called them to find out what is going on. He said no. I asked him why. He said it could take a couple of weeks. I asked him why. He said he didn't know. I told him that SS10 has had "another" explosive tantrum and the he is SS10's advocate and needs to call them ASAP to move this along. Waiting for someone to call you back is not the answer. I told him that if I was the legal guardian I would be calling every day until I got the answer I was looking for. I told him that I would never let my child sit there spinning out of control without doing my best to seek help for him. Yes, I shamed him there a little, but my gosh, nothing is going to get better if he just "waits and sees."
So, I have two questions...
1. How would you approach SS10's tantrums?
2. What are the consequences you apply for bringing home a write-up from school?
I am always looking for better ways of doing things, and I am at loss here as to what might work better. All advice is appreciated.