Antisocial Personality Disorder Diagnosis of my 18 year old son

[toughlovin]

Yeah that no response thing is pretty hard to take.... I get that all the time. I text something and hear nothing back. I have learned that means either he doesn't want to respond or doesn't feel he needs to... and it is better if I just let it go and wait... or text him another day with some piece of info. What I do find is that when he needs something he does text me and that usually happens before i think it will. So yeah wait a couple days and then text him with something else.

So Gage and his mom have your name and number correct? I would assume if anything really bad happened they would contact you? That is my comfort, I know the people where my son is staying know my name and number and I trust if things got bad they would contact me. I know they would because the dad contacts me now and then to check in anyways.... but assuming someone would call if you if something terrible happened, then assume no news is good news..... and do something fun for you.

 

[momtom]

Hi, I new to this site, along with new to the diagnosis of 20 year old adopted son. His therapist has said he has ASPD, and there is little hope for him.
He for the most part is a good kid, doesn't take drugs or alcohol, but has a history of stealing. This time 3 cameras, three events, one from a person at a seminar the other from college. 7 months later Police 20 of them show up at out door to arrest him. We leave him in jail for 2 nights to teach him a lesson- that was before seeing his therapist who has seen him since he was 12. Son was adopted at 4.5 and has always had a I know better attitude. The stealing came when he wanted iPods, iPhones in his teens. He is charming, handsome on one hand and in other ways dense- like a missing link somewhere in his brain when it comes to logic. The only time we saw some self pride in his achievements was after attending a military style camp called devil Pups. He appeared to have changed, showed compassion, emotion sincerely. That was 5 years ago. two years ago unbeknown to us he was let off after shoplifting. we never knew about it until one of his friends told us about it. He goes to court next week, hired an attorney and will try and get it taken care of with no record. Misdemeanor still screws up your future. We know he will do its again if left o his own demise. We are thinking the Military with it's constant discipline, direction may the best next step for him.
I read all your horrific experiences and know this is all coming if we get him off his criminal charges. He just can't change that easily. What have you all found that did help??

 

[HanginginThere]

Wow, reading over this older thread on ASPD, it completely describes my son. He was diagnosed with ODD when he was in 4th grade. I tried many different therapists but nothing really seemed to help. He used to say he didn't care a lot and I thought it was just a teenage phase and he would grow out of it. I tried to keep him really busy when he was in high school- football, soccer, police explorers, all star cheerleading etc. but his MO is that once he proves that he can be the best at it, he's through with it. After he graduated, he went into the Army and was with the 82nd Airborne Division. He again seemed to initially excel at it and then he wouldn't listen to his NCOs and everything went downhill and he was kicked out with a little under two years under his belt. Last year, after going from job to job and in and out of jail for drugs and stealing, he decided he wanted to go to college and I thought that this could be his fresh start. Nope, he just ended up conning me out of a significant amount of money and going on a drug binge. I also dealt with trying to get him out of the house and at one point he tried to kick my door down and the police were called. He had left and the police contacted him and asked if he had done it. He answered yes because he wanted to get some books out of the house. Momtom, the very best advice I can give you is to practice the art of detachment. No matter how hard you try you cannot fix him-he has to want to commit to change on his own. I had to let my son become homeless living out of the Waffle House which just tore my heart to pieces. That is the only way they understand that they are responsible for their own problems and may mature from the consequences they experience. I know this is a hard lesson to learn but it does bring some hope of some happiness when you unburden yourself from the onus of your son's issues. Try to give yourself permission to focus on you and your other family members and relieve yourself of the constant worry that our difficult children tend to continuously bring to our doorsteps.

 

[pigless in VA]

I think what will help you most is to detach from him. I will make an attempt to link you to the detachment article.

Try this Article on Detachment

 

[pigless in VA]

Welcome, momtom. When I linked you to the detachment article, I accidentally deleted the rest of my post. This is a very old thread and most of the members no longer post here. I think you should begin your own thread. To do that, go to the Parent Emeritus page and look at the top right for the button that says, "Post New Thread." Click on it to write your own story. I think you will get more responses.

Welcome to a place where parents understand extremely difficult circumstances. I think you will find much support and comfort here.