tryingtobestrong
Active Member
Most of you know the roller coaster we have been on these past few months/years. In and out of treatment, manipulation, etc.
I have noticed my adult son gets very angry when he doesn't like something or feels he has been "betrayed" or "lied to" and says really mean things to thse people who have tried helping.
For example, when he went to residential treatment a few months ago, the man who picked him up told him that he couldn't have a visitor while he was there. My son said that when he agreed to go that was said and now the guy changed what was presented and with that he got angry and left the program after 2 weeks. Once out and back to his "life", he would send emails and texts to the guy that said very mean and ugly things. (The man had reached out to me to see what was going on with my son. He felt it was just his addiction taking over)
So fast forward to this IOP/sober living issue. He quit the IOP and then was told he couldn't live in the sober home... He felt it was wrong because the other guys live there and don't go to IOP. We were both told that it was because they were further along in the program. My son needed IOP and he made a commitment to attend and now was backing out. It was felt by the home that my son should not call the shots but they should call the shots. My son refused to go to another sober living home and got an apartment alone again. I was told by the IOP that my son sent very cruel text messages to the man in charge. He wished terrible things on him and his family.
Seriously, why is my son acting like this? Is this normal? Do others do this as well? I am embarrassed that he does this. We didn't raise him to be like this. He is acting like a 2 year old with temper tantrums.. I have not made any contact with him since last week and do not plan on reaching out.
I am thoroughly disgusted with him. My counselor said he needs so much help. He just wants everything done his way.
If there is a relapse in the future, I am trying really hard to say "I am sorry but we have paid for treatment 6 times since June and you never followed through. You need to find your own this time and pay for it with you money."
I will feel awful but I can't keep doing this.
I have noticed my adult son gets very angry when he doesn't like something or feels he has been "betrayed" or "lied to" and says really mean things to thse people who have tried helping.
For example, when he went to residential treatment a few months ago, the man who picked him up told him that he couldn't have a visitor while he was there. My son said that when he agreed to go that was said and now the guy changed what was presented and with that he got angry and left the program after 2 weeks. Once out and back to his "life", he would send emails and texts to the guy that said very mean and ugly things. (The man had reached out to me to see what was going on with my son. He felt it was just his addiction taking over)
So fast forward to this IOP/sober living issue. He quit the IOP and then was told he couldn't live in the sober home... He felt it was wrong because the other guys live there and don't go to IOP. We were both told that it was because they were further along in the program. My son needed IOP and he made a commitment to attend and now was backing out. It was felt by the home that my son should not call the shots but they should call the shots. My son refused to go to another sober living home and got an apartment alone again. I was told by the IOP that my son sent very cruel text messages to the man in charge. He wished terrible things on him and his family.
Seriously, why is my son acting like this? Is this normal? Do others do this as well? I am embarrassed that he does this. We didn't raise him to be like this. He is acting like a 2 year old with temper tantrums.. I have not made any contact with him since last week and do not plan on reaching out.
I am thoroughly disgusted with him. My counselor said he needs so much help. He just wants everything done his way.
If there is a relapse in the future, I am trying really hard to say "I am sorry but we have paid for treatment 6 times since June and you never followed through. You need to find your own this time and pay for it with you money."
I will feel awful but I can't keep doing this.