keista
New Member
DD1 has anxiety. Sometimes very severe to the point where she will actually regress into infant-like behavior - thumb sucking, rocking in fetal position, tantrums, etc. She also possesses an 'illogical' factor to this where she knows that something scares her, but she wants to enjoy the fun part that doesn't bother her, but one little slip up towards the scary stuff and she freaks out. The best example of this was last summer at camp. The lake had leaches, leaches live in the muck, DD1 will not wade into the water. This is perfectly fine and acceptable. HOWEVER, she sees all the kids paddling out to the middle of the lake on surf boards and it looks like fun and she wants to go. I ASSURE her there are NO leaches in the deep water only in the muck. She goes, but falls off the board, and starts screaming bloody murder, and 5 Dads jump in to save her. She freaked because of the thought of leaches. Again, I assure her, and EVERYONE assures her, there are NO leaches in the deep water. She repeated this all 4 days last year. Her freak outs became smaller but were still there. In one way it seems as if she is actively trying to overcome her own fears, but on the other hand she puts herself under a lot of unnecessary stress because this cycle is emotionally draining on her - she's just a shell of herself for a few hours following this kind of situation.
So that's background information, and I just realized that what I was about to write does seem to follow this same pattern. There are some things she just seems DRIVEN to do despite her anxieties. This past Spring she sang a song in the school talent show and got rave reviews. She has a naturally pretty voice. She needs practice and training, but despite a flawed performance, everyone gushed over her talent. She knows she has a good voice and is driven to perform, but would be perfectly happy and content if the adoration ended at the applause. She HATES the extra attention and compliments she gets following the performance - too much work she says. None the less, she was determined to sing at the camp talent show.
Well, she went a step further. She wrote her own song the first day of camp. Lyrics down on paper, melody in her head. OK, honey, are you sure you want to do this? YES! OK, practice, practice, practice. Would you like me to see if Rusty will back you up on guitar? Ah, um, er, I guess so. Rusty teaches music to disabled kids so from my point of view this is a match made in heaven. I got them together, and they are ready for the show. (by the way she was the first one signed up on the talent show roster) I wasn't allowed to be a part of their practice sessions - this is another odd thing about her anxieties with ppl. She claims she's more comfortable dealing with strangers when I'm not around????????? Anyway, I got to listen in on their 'dress rehearsal' and I was moved to tears. But I'm Mom - I'm proud of my kids' accomplishments no matter what.
I was so nervous for her, but she did very well, and EVERYONE was impressed. As soon as she finished, a friend turned to me and asked who composed the song. I said she did. No, I mean who wrote the music? She did. WOW! Just WOW!
BUT like I had just posted before, this child is completely drained from the experience. She barely made it through the rest of the show, curled up and rested her head in my lap. She clung to me like velcro for the evening snacks and when ppl came up to compliment and congratulate her, she could barely look at them let alone thank them graciously for the compliments. She did not "freak out" but was truly exhausted and spent the hour or so before bed in our cabin instead of playing with the other kids as usual.
So I'm wondering if anyone else sees anything like this with their kids. Not just with anxiety, but any facet of gfgdom that occasionally seems to contradict itself in a positive light?
And yes, I'll share the video, because after all, I am a peacock of a mom. I just wish she's spend some time editing, revising, tweaking (she doesn't like to do that with ANYTHING) and practicing.
So that's background information, and I just realized that what I was about to write does seem to follow this same pattern. There are some things she just seems DRIVEN to do despite her anxieties. This past Spring she sang a song in the school talent show and got rave reviews. She has a naturally pretty voice. She needs practice and training, but despite a flawed performance, everyone gushed over her talent. She knows she has a good voice and is driven to perform, but would be perfectly happy and content if the adoration ended at the applause. She HATES the extra attention and compliments she gets following the performance - too much work she says. None the less, she was determined to sing at the camp talent show.
Well, she went a step further. She wrote her own song the first day of camp. Lyrics down on paper, melody in her head. OK, honey, are you sure you want to do this? YES! OK, practice, practice, practice. Would you like me to see if Rusty will back you up on guitar? Ah, um, er, I guess so. Rusty teaches music to disabled kids so from my point of view this is a match made in heaven. I got them together, and they are ready for the show. (by the way she was the first one signed up on the talent show roster) I wasn't allowed to be a part of their practice sessions - this is another odd thing about her anxieties with ppl. She claims she's more comfortable dealing with strangers when I'm not around????????? Anyway, I got to listen in on their 'dress rehearsal' and I was moved to tears. But I'm Mom - I'm proud of my kids' accomplishments no matter what.
I was so nervous for her, but she did very well, and EVERYONE was impressed. As soon as she finished, a friend turned to me and asked who composed the song. I said she did. No, I mean who wrote the music? She did. WOW! Just WOW!
BUT like I had just posted before, this child is completely drained from the experience. She barely made it through the rest of the show, curled up and rested her head in my lap. She clung to me like velcro for the evening snacks and when ppl came up to compliment and congratulate her, she could barely look at them let alone thank them graciously for the compliments. She did not "freak out" but was truly exhausted and spent the hour or so before bed in our cabin instead of playing with the other kids as usual.
So I'm wondering if anyone else sees anything like this with their kids. Not just with anxiety, but any facet of gfgdom that occasionally seems to contradict itself in a positive light?
And yes, I'll share the video, because after all, I am a peacock of a mom. I just wish she's spend some time editing, revising, tweaking (she doesn't like to do that with ANYTHING) and practicing.