Christmas worries

[Donna illig]

We give our best help not expecting anything back, hon. We just care.

Short answers: Don't let either in and if they won't leave call the police. Your safety is important. You matter. You matter just as much as they do.

Longer answer: This isn't your little girl. This is a dangerous drug addict and a grown woman, with a dangerous man with her to boot. They are not cute little kids. They associate with dangerous people and sell drugs themselves.

Would you tell anyone else in your situation to let them in?

They are criminals right now. Stay safe!!!! Please! We are all holding your hand!

 

[Donna illig]

Thank you so much!

 

[Donna illig]

This is it in a nutshell.

But remember, if there are threats (verbal or aggression) call the police, and follow up with a restraining order. Nobody should have to live in their own house afraid or intimidated.

Intimidation, the attempt to control you, that you give up your power over your own place, yourself, your voice--is wrong. While it may not cross over to criminality, I would not wait for this to happen. If anybody resists our authority over ourselves, in our home--we need to act to stop them. Even if we (especially) we love them. We cannot let loved ones abuse us. Or anybody.

 

[Donna illig]

Thank you! Have a nice day!

 

[Donna illig]

To be blunt, NO!!!!!
Your daughter has given you no reason to trust her.
Remember, your home is where you should feel safe. I know this is hard but you have to do what is best for YOU!
There was a period of time that I did not know where my son was and I was on high alert. I expected him to show up at my front door and even the back door! I went over in my mind many times what I would do.
I would never open the door if I saw him there. I would tell him he could not come in and that he had to leave. I was also prepared to call the police if he didn't leave. I was also prepared for him to scream ugly things at me that my neighbors might here. So be it.
My son never did "show" up but I'm glad that I was prepared if he did.
The best thing you can do is to have a plan of what you will do and say, be prepared.

You will get through this!

 

[Donna illig]

Thank you! Have a nice day!

 

[Childofmine]

Donna, you've gotten good advice and great support here. Please keep us posted on you and how you are handling things as the days go by. We know it's so hard to have to kick kids out of the house, and most of us didn't even consider it until they really crossed a major line, like stealing from us. Once my son stole from me, that really opened my eyes up, and that was a line that got my attention. We can't live in the same house with people who are emptying it out for their drugs or whatever they are using it for, as we sit and watch them. I will never forget the day my (now) husband and I went to Home Depot to buy more locks for all of the doors, the slide-bolt kind, and spent hours that day installing the locks and changing keypads. I sobbed the entire time. I couldn't believe it. But it was true. Hang in there. We're here for you through this. You are doing the 100 percent right thing by standing your ground. Meet them somewhere else. Not in your home. That is your sanctuary.

 

[Snow White]

Short answers: Don't let either in and if they won't leave call the police. Your safety is important. You matter. You matter just as much as they do.
Longer answer: This isn't your little girl. This is a dangerous drug addict and a grown woman, with a dangerous man with her to boot. They are not cute little kids. They associate with dangerous people and sell drugs themselves.

I agree with everyone, Donna. You are setting yourself up for failure if you allow this to happen. I'm hoping that the words from this forum will assist you in keeping strong and saying, "No." These kids try to hold us hostage because of the "holidays" and we feel pressured to give in. Why should another holiday be ruined by the danger they may bring into your house.

Sending you prayers for strength and lots of hugs!

 

[Donna illig]

Donna, you've gotten good advice and great support here. Please keep us posted on you and how you are handling things as the days go by. We know it's so hard to have to kick kids out of the house, and most of us didn't even consider it until they really crossed a major line, like stealing from us. Once my son stole from me, that really opened my eyes up, and that was a line that got my attention. We can't live in the same house with people who are emptying it out for their drugs or whatever they are using it for, as we sit and watch them. I will never forget the day my (now) husband and I went to Home Depot to buy more locks for all of the doors, the slide-bolt kind, and spent hours that day installing the locks and changing keypads. I sobbed the entire time. I couldn't believe it. But it was true. Hang in there. We're here for you through this. You are doing the 100 percent right thing by standing your ground. Meet them somewhere else. Not in your home. That is your sanctuary.

 

[Donna illig]

Thank you so much for your advice. I'm sorry you have gone through the traumatic time with your son.